#badumtssss

Gale is a giver. That is, he's someone who wants to give, give entirely. His full self. It's what tangles Gale as possibly the most monogamous character, the most openly devoted character, the sincerest, but also a character easily distracted from the limitations of his own vows. Giving himself entirely isn't something he can do in the way that he wants with a one on one, mortal, committed partnership. 

Because Gale wants it to hurt. Gale wants it to destroy him. 

The Weave is many things for and to Gale, but for our purposes we have to talk about it as a balm to loneliness. At the Tiefling party, Gale possibly speaks about Tara being proud of him, and regrets he hasn’t given her much of that lately. He’s speaking of his tressym as an equal, almost as a parent. For him, saving the Tieflings feels like “having repaid the favor,” as if he needs to do penance for letting his tressym encourage him, aid him. She was all he had because he set up wards to prevent any colleague or friend from checking on him. Magic is the only companion allowed to see Gale if he’s not at 100%, if he’s not ready to be Wizard of Waterdeep™. Of course, Tara’s origins are relevant here. It’s easy to see Gale as someone with a streak of ambition but I think it all comes down to that first wound/heal with magic… Validation, company, companionship, magic gave that to him- rewarded him- with Tara at a very young age.

“Magic is my life. I’ve been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember.”

The Weave functions too as a neutral space for Gale to initially connect with Tav in the small, at least romance leaning Act I scene that happens after you engage him creating his little illusory Mystra. Gale showing Tav the Weave is a safer way for Gale to show himself. It’s an intrinsic part of who he is but it’s also a shield, a wall, a safety net. Teaching or showing Tav the Weave’s wonders gives him the control he seeks AND the opportunity to impress. “You feel something warm, like a kind word and a kind touch at the same time.” We have no way of knowing if this is what the Weave feels like to Gale, and so to us through him, or if what we’re feeling there is Gale’s influence over the Weave. Are we nestled in the cup Mystra’s hand or what Gale wants it to be? Wishes it would do for him? Is the sense of a kiss hovering about Tav and Gale or is that element of Mystra’s using of Gale so tangled in this magic that he can’t shake it free?

Mystra plucks him up. First teacher, then muse, then lover. Then the root of his demise. With Mystra he is both chosen and servant. I’d argue a worship kink is at play, or at the very least it is the lens in which Gale’s sense of sensuality has been most amplified.

At a point these feelings of conflict- never alone but lonely, wizard prodigy but just one of many men or boys plucked by Mystra, Wizard of Waterdeep but the Whatever of Mystra- are as crucial to his idea of the Weave, to magic, as the spells themselves. Gale has comparatively high charisma… his magic is a performance, as much to himself and of himself, as to anyone or for anyone/anything else.

Gale's boundary pushing is about proving himself through admiration, through praise. He craves it, good boy, Gale. Very the Wizard of Waterdeep of you.

His first assumption in New Love is that he has to offer Tav something more than himself. “I could do more than woo you - I could wow you.” Gale doesn’t understand how those are ultimately one and the same. Sex hasn’t been about connection, solidification, or strictly pleasure for him. It has been about proving himself, about being worthy, about service (which is another great somehow parallel & foil he has with Astarion but that’s for another time).

The specific intimacy of a blow job reverses the conflicted feelings and roles that Gale is accustomed to. In pornography and even popular culture, blow jobs are- erroneously in my opinion- depicted as something dominant and masterful for the receiver. Even something to be wielded as punishment or degrading, even in consensual BDSM practices.

In reality, a blow job is the ultimate submission. It makes Gale a man, it centers his manhood figuratively and literally. He loses a sense of control. Yes, even service gives one a sense of control. But the giver's power is not just in how their mouth wraps around ye classic quivering member. It's in intent. Pace. Pressure. Eye contact, the use of hands, fingers, even toys… The humanity of oral sex. And the humanity of the thing is not something Gale knows. 

Even if Mystra has played the giver it was for her game/goals and her pleasure. It was an adjustment to or pull of his strings. Gale tells Tav he has been with other mortals but I doubt as Gale the Man™. While creating a full night sky and seeking to do it the way the gods do (which we know means the way Mystra taught him or the way Mystra refers) is a genuine and catered moment for Tav, his other lovers no doubt got lazier, less genuine showmanship or else the wit and bravado and courtesy he thinks people expect of him. Early in Act I in his tale of the pub fight he manages to stop, the peace he makes comes at his cost- just monetary in that equation, but the point is, even in his performance of a Big Deal™, sexual or otherwise, Gale seeks to give to maintain the status quo. Gale’s sexuality, just like his magic, is genuine, sincere, and very present part of himself but it’s also unrecognizable to him if he has to stop thinking of it as a tool for five seconds.

Gale himself being a giver is something I really think he takes great pleasure in. His references to it out of the heat of the moment are something he is speaking about fondly and assuredly. He probably enjoys going down on someone as much as he enjoys magic. Like magic, he knows he’s good. Specifically with his tongue (I SCREAM). But remember, he is groomed by a goddess. A literal goddess. He is not just servicing, giving, he is WORSHIPING. Body worship is inherently submission and it’s specifically service oriented submission. Gale knows and has self esteem issues and hang ups around being submissive and if that submission secretly means he’s not good enough- likely why he tries to one up people, places, and things even as he begs to be back in that position of submission- but Gale genuinely likes being of service sexually. 

Gale, by virtue of being a great pretender, has never really given himself over to the real mortal experience of sex. Which brings us to the big moment of trust… 

The ultimate act of trust for Gale is letting someone in… he fully expects to be met with hatred and derision for his attempt with the orb. How could anything genuine be anything else? How could Gale's Folly, mortal, human, desperate, far reaching, reckless, be worth anything but hate? 

The reason Mystra can make Gale so easily believe that seeking these lost pieces of herself for her- even if unasked for, even if unwanted, even if upsetting to her, even if a misinterpretation of where their relationship stood at the time- was so unforgivable is because Gale thinks what the orb is doing to him reveals his ultimate sin, his glaring weakness… it makes him WANT. it makes him NEED. In Gale’s mind there’s nothing worse a man could do.

Blow jobs extend this into the element of control and real, physical intimacy. He's in your hands. He can't pace or bait his own pleasure. Pleasure is a thing happening to him. What is more human than the whimpers and moans in ecstacy when it feels so good you don't care if you cum or die? What does it mean for Gale to be made really and finally tangible and mortal in someone’s eyes? It’s the thing his most intimate connections have always liked least about him (and I imagine outright punished him for).

He can't earn credit or bonus points or paint himself the god. He will cum before you. You will give that gift to him. That's often the whole point. For Gale, anything like that with Mystra after being initially groomed by her into her hall of lovers would've been a debt. He might want you too much, too obviously, too greedily, if he’s in YOUR hands. Even his proposed “as the gods do” creates so many doubles of himself that you couldn’t have time to think, much less ever find yourself wanting. Gale genuinely connects to Tav, genuinely expresses love for them, but still does so by anticipating needs, assuming he isn’t enough, giving Tav no time to want or need, thereby leaving no room for adjustment, correction, or disappointment. 

Gale speaks about pushing the boundaries of magic. In having sex with Mystra he is taken into the vision of her world. But she won't go with him, won't take him further in, won't actually teach him or show him or grant him anything. The great beyond for Gale is not really magic or forgiveness or whatever… It's intimacy. 

Gale doesn't think he can just ask for intimacy. Doesn't think he can just find it organically. He must suffer for it, make a grand gesture, make up for the ways his mortality have dirtied Mystra by making her more herself, the way she was in Gale's mind before he tainted her with his want. Even in the realm of intimacy, he assumes he will have to be on his best behavior and earn it. It doesn’t occur to Gale until deep into Act II, post the romance scene and further validation from Tav, that having those restrictions on intimacy and care as a standard in a relationship is damaging, unfair, or cruel. 

“Now more than ever, it’s important to recall what makes us human.”

There is no right or wrong way to romance any of the romance options in Baldur’s Gate 3, of course. But narratively, Gale’s story begs for further examination and agency for Gale the Man, versus the Wizard of Waterdeep.Gale is at his best when he is open, vulnerable, and reaching out. He is as tactile seeking as he is ever-calculating about who he is to who, what he does or does not owe, what will maximize on paper his value and contributions. Left to his own devices, Gale will literally explode or transcend to avoid any offense or harm the baseness of his humanity might cause. Sex is a magic and spirituality that offers us briefly to transcend ourselves but while being wholly of our bodies, that makes we silly mortals keenly aware of our physical, limited humanity even as an orgasm can hit so hard you lightly trip balls and don’t know how to use your hands.