#badshit

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I slept crying again

I was kissing my pillow

Thinking it was you

Thinking about you pulling me onto you

Thinking about the time you accidentally

Touched my waist

It was worth the wait?

I'm sorry if I disappointed you

Usually, I disappoint everyone

When I'm only trying to be attentive at five am

So I don't fight myself no more

I just cry till I die once again inside

Because I know I've lost this war of myself with me

There are no winners

There's just the king who watches from afar

Laughing when I try to kill my words with swords

Yelling at me if I don't go home after everything's done

Because he wants to eat golden bodies

Not silver bodies like mine

Always getting his dates up

All my fates have beaten my nightmares

But there's just one nightmare that's still here

It's you

It's the thoughts of you and me

The two of you

The two of us

The two of me

Because there's a difference between

Being the king and being the joker

The knight when the sun is up

The joker when they all come to your bed

But I don't go to sleep

I dream alive nightmares

I feel all nightmares in my skin

When the inside of your door is suffocated by moans and "I love yous"

I'm still here kissing my pillow

Thinking it's you

And writing it

And I can't feel my hands

Because you know what

Yes, I have been hearing myself up

All the tears became scars

Like the night full of stars

The rain has stopped

But even if all those things are brighter than my future

They're not real

All this deal about being real to humanity

It's not true

There's no love anywhere

Humans are the worst kind

Humanity is the worst race

Do you do want to race through this road without me looking at your back?

Do you do want to face these rough options without me choosing your decisions?

Don't know how we end up being like this

Don't know now what I have to do, sis

Why do they still doing this miss contest?

No one of us will face the hate

We just want love for a minute

But then we don't want it for years

We always get bored with this

I see a paper on the floor

It must be yours

What do you waiting for?

It just looks like a drawing

I pick it up and throw it back in the bin

I don't remember the day we've said

It's easy to say

But it's not to do the doing thing we are supposed to do

Instead, we end up playing games every day

Because in my mind we always were doing the right

But I knew the inside of us were just dark night

The pale moon with two loons sitting in benches crying

Because they didn't do what they had to do

They just have headaches when the kiss cease

Lights out, we've been fighting

That loud scream of yours

Is making me scared of life

I see you walking through the hall

Sentence of life, sentence of death

They are the same

We born knowing only one thing

We will die someday

We born knowing the life have an end

I sit on the grass

Isn't as fair as the wind blowing my hair

Isn't as fair as you and I

I hit my face, the hole in the wall is bleeding now

Isn't as fair as my dear being happy with his life

Isn't as fair as you kissing I

I wish you were here kissing my sad lips

They don't move

They don't want to

I was waiting for you comeback