#backflips away

what the freak did they put in those jesters to make me love theM SOMUCH😦💥💥💥

boom boom~

I ffeel like so confused rn like, is like im incapable of having a strong emotional bond with my friends or quite literally anyone. I want to care abt how they feel soooo bad but i js cant and it makes me feel so shitty abt myself but then i think, i dont care. Why cant i care bro i can smile i can act like i hold them dear to my heart but i cant. And when someone gets remotely close to being that supposed dear to my heart or whatever i start to resent them and ill cut them off and i want them to find someone else to get close to even though i want that person to be me. Its so pathetic and sad and lonely but at the end of the day i wont care which is the worst part. They can be thinking oh man i feel so sad but im here grinning like as if i won the lotterh because i dont know how to feel about that certain situation. Ive lost like, probably 2 to 3 close relationships because of my lack of care and it makes me want to fight myself but at the same time it feels like such a non issue. And what am i even supposed to say to them??? Sorry, idc and im sorry that i dont care?? That makes me sound like the shittiest person alive bro what..... How do people even care bro i can shed a couple tears for someone yes but they can go as quickly as they came ljke give me some empathy or whatever its called i want to care i want to feel what its like to want to be happy because someones happy and be sad when someones sad but i dont care i dont care i dont care ill act the part if i have to but the moment its not needed i cant bring myself to care even in the slightest amount unless it directly affects me. What am i self centered or something idk how does someone care ahhshhshhhh# i hate this i hate thatbi want to care but after writing this ill probably go on with my day like nothing happened which is the worst part and idk i want help i want to make peopke see that i care for them sincerely and not that its what society tells me to do. Mmsmsmsm.... Smsmmsmsmsmmmmsa.. A. Aim gonna puncha wall or something now life lowkirkenuinely sucks

ya. someone put their jelly in the microwave. yeah its all melted now

roman, doing sick jumps away from any and all opportunities to be emotionally vulnerable: this is coping. 😎