#axt rambles

Hair always long and never put up..

Showing a little skin, like stems (legs idk)

Show off waist at all times..

Always have a pleasant expression on your face.

Mhm, kinda reminded me of something..

I was in the the middle of nowhere and kinda just walked around till I came across a wooden house that looked like it was in the "Wild West" times and went in, no one was in the main room of the building but rather in the attic because there was a hidden room. If you wanted to get in you had to wear a black robe and crawl in because it was a long, narrow path like a "vent". When you got in there were pictures of fly agarics painted on the blue walls and atmospherically it was like a crystal cave.. you could only sit in the room due to the ceiling being way too low, so to speak it may have been a “crawl space” I suppose..

Then, finally, there was me entering the room, looking in to see three others sitting in there and just talking.. couldn’t figure them out first because of the robes but turned out it was Varg, Ragnar (from a comic called “For you Satan”) and pretty sure the third one was Pelle.. Pelle and Ragnar sat in a far corner talking and Varg gave me a blank stare as I got in.. I sat down next to him and out of nowhere Varg then offered us drugs (probably mushrooms or LSD) and with no hesitation all of us took some and got really high for a while..

Yeah that was the dream..

Always I’m the one having to text first, if I don’t do it nothing comes from them. It can go from days, to weeks or even months of complete absence and it seems as it doesn’t matter.

I can’t understand, just tell me if you don’t like me or care to begin with and we can get this over with.

This blog is about my “special interests”, it’s mostly black metal related, my drawings, etc.

I post/repost anything I want.

Open to take drawing, fanfiction, etc. requests..

——𖤐

Often times I feel like a burden to my friends.

I know it’s not true, my friends are very dear to me, all I’m trying to know if I’m just as important or loved. I never truely know if I am. Sadly, I myself never know how to express my emotions either. All I’m hoping is that my friends know I love them, even when I’m distant, care for them, know when they aren’t feeling well.

It’s unhealthy, that’s something I’ve realized a long time ago, but I can’t help but attach myself to any guy I meet. I feel sorry for them, i truely do. One day I hope there’s a man I’ll met that loves just as much as me, no mixed signals, no avoidance.

I’m only being used and played with, is it my fault? I’m being hurt so much and often, it must be me.