#awkward af

If Sengoku wasn’t careful, you were sure he was going to bend your fork. You eyed him sitting at one end of the table, wondering if you should remove the fork now or let him suffer through it later when eating.

Law sat there with his arms across his chest, his face carefully shuttered. You knew him better.  The boy was clearly a mix of ecstatic, horrified, and can’t wait til this horror show ends. 

On the other side of the table, Baby 5 was happy, fawning under some compliment Shakky had offered her, an amused look on her face.  It did, in fact, make you happy to know that Shakky took a liking to the girl you had always talked about but never introduced.  It was a good thing, perhaps, that Baby 5’s fiancé had not joined the dinner, though the invitation had been extended to him too.  Considering that man was now allied with Strawhat Luffy, you doubt Sengoku would even be able to sit let alone eat at the same time.

And then there was Ray, whom you’d seated on the other end of the table, with the intention of putting him as far away from Sengoku as possible, casually drinking his beer and making small talk. 

Small talk that only Rosi was responding to.

Oh yes, you hoped the worst this dinner could get would be a horror show and not the shitshow you had argued with Rosi about.

Well, it was so far a reasonable beginning to the family dinner.  You and Rosi had been sure to state the same stipulations to everyone invited: 1) Everyone must behave in a family friendly manner; 2) No arguing; 3) No devil fruit powers and haki allowed. 

“Rosinante, you didn’t tell me about the whole family,” Sengoku gritted.  The fork bent.  Asshole.

Rosi noticed.  He flashed you a look, before reaching over to his father figure, and attempted to wriggle the partially bent fork from Sengoku’s vice-like grip.  “Didn’t I? I was pretty sure I mentioned it.”

“You said, ‘come over, please, meet the most important people in my life’,” mimicked Sengoku.  The fork twitched a centimetre in Sengoku’s grip.  “You didn’t mention the former Empress of Amazon Lily, nor the Dark King.”

“Well, yes,” Rosi said with a light, nervous laugh.  You’d heard that call.  He’d deliberately glossed over who was coming.  “I’m sure I mentioned it.”

“Come now, Sengoku, we’re all old friends here,” said Ray placatingly, though there was a sharp edge to the amusement in his tone.

Yes, Rosi hadn’t been the only one to gloss over who was coming to dinner.  Even though you might have mentioned it once or twice in the past who Rosi’s ‘father’ was, you were pretty sure only Shakky had caught the implication, and that your words had slipped by Ray, so when you’d called about the dinner, only Shakky had any idea what kind of shitshow horror show she would be walking into.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t capture you right now,” snarled Sengoku, thumping his fist on the dinner table.

“Sir—” Rosi began.

Sengoku interrupted his foster son, frustration clearly bleeding through everything he said, “We’re going to have a long talk about this Rosinante—”

“Oi, don’t talk to Cora-san like that,” said Law coolly, his fingers twitching. 

Despite their touching first meeting, Law and Sengoku had been clear on where they stood with each other: they each loved and respected Rosi in their own way, but that sure as hell didn’t mean Law and Sengoku were best buddies, let alone foster grandfather and grandson.  No, they would maintain their prior relationship of pirate and marine, but with more respect to Rosi.

“Be quiet, brat,” Sengoku shot Law’s way.  Those two, you knew, had come to an accord after the events of Dressrosa and the downfall of Doflamingo.  But it didn’t mean they’d become cuddle buddies either.  They kept it nice and unfriendly.

“Cora-san doesn’t need to discuss his relations with you,” Law said flatly.

Rosi coughed.  “I’m right here.”

Sengoku ignored him.  “Just because I’ve settled with myself that my son is living in this lawless zone, he doesn’t need unsavoury people tainting his reputation further.”

“He’s not a child,” Baby 5 said.  “He can do whatever he likes.”

“He’s my child,” Sengoku said stubbornly.

“Uh—” Rosi attempted to speak, his eyes shooting between Sengoku and Baby 5 and Law.  To Law, he was grateful, to Baby 5 he seemed surprised, and to Sengoku, he was embarrassed.  But it didn’t matter, because no one let him speak.

Your hand clenched around the glass you were clutching.  Since when had you poured yourself a gin and tonic?  You had no idea. Though Shakky tilted her gin and tonic your way in a subtle toast, the corner of her mouth tilting up in wry amusement.

“Unsavoury? Interesting choice of word you have there, Sengoku,” Ray said calmly.  But the calmness of his words was a force to be reckoned with.

“Would you prefer ‘disreputable’, ‘villainous’, or ‘despicable’? I was aiming for family friendly.”  Derision dripped from Sengoku’s retort.  So he clearly remembered at least one of yours and Rosi’s stipulations.

“And what would that make you? Heroic? Indomitable? Gallant?” Though it sounded amused, it masked the same kind of derision as Sengoku’s.

“A marine, you pirate,” spat Sengoku.  Somehow, that should have been synonymous with the words Ray dropped, but Sengoku made it sound as though they were two similarly different things. 

Ray tsked.  “You said ‘pirate’ like it’s a dirty slur.  I take it as a compliment, thank you very much.”

Was it possible for Sengoku’s fork to bend more?

Baby 5 nervously looked between Ray and Sengoku.  Shakky offered her a drink, much to Baby 5’s relief.

You, on the other hand, sipped your drink.  “Maybe I should bring out the fish.” 

Excusing yourself from the table, you escaped to the kitchen. 

Not that it was much of an escape, since the cottage was only one room for the living, dining and kitchen.  And though the oven wasn’t smoking nor on fire, the fish smelt cooked.

Carefully you lifted the tray from the oven.  Since the oven was rather large, you’d been able to fit three extra large fishes in it, bones and all.  Rosi had caught them yesterday and between you both, you’d decided it would make for a good dinner.  What could go wrong with spiced fish?

But apparently turning your back on the family dinner wasn’t a bright idea.

The moment your back was turned, you felt the discharge of haki.  Strong haki.  The haki of kings.  Conqueror’s haki.  Static sparked up your back, sending the hairs on your arms standing. 

Dear gods.

No.

Not in my house.

You weren’t the type to admit you were slow.  If anything, your years with your father and the years after with the Donquixote Family had refined your skills to the best of your abilities and then some. 

But in this instant, you were a second too slow to turn back. 

By this point, Sengoku had jumped to his feet, in an offensive stance, his arms tense and poised to react.  Ray sat in his chair calmly, his chin propped on his hist, and his eyes dark behind the glint of his round spectacles.

Conqueror’s haki crackled between them.

It might be invisible to the eye, but you felt the clash of wills with every fibre of your being.

And what a clash of wills it was.  You’d never encountered the force of either Ray’s or Sengoku’s conqueror’s haki on its own.  But you’d felt others. You’d felt the weight of Doflamingo’s, a bubble of force so suffocating that every encounter you had with it, felt as though you were underwater struggling for air, and only your determination to stay awake kept you from drowning.  Shanks’ was fire hot, electricity so intense it set you afire.  If you’d ever burned alive on a stake, that was what it felt like to encounter his conqueror’s haki.  Wanting to breathe while burning alive at the same time.

Ray’s and Sengoku’s were both more intense than Doflamingo’s, and yet not half as intense as Shanks’. 

It didn’t matter though.

There was no space in this room from the two egos currently clashing.  It was just Ray and Sengoku, staring each other down. 

Law was gagging in shock, bearing against the weight of the clash.

Baby 5 fared less well, quailing, though thankfully not yet foaming at the mouth.

Shakky did not look pleased.  A rare expression from wife to husband.

And Rosi was just stunned.  From the clash, rather than the conqueror’s itself.  You doubted he’d even registered the conqueror’s haki in the face of the explosion rippling in front of his face.

You felt the dish in your hand slip your grip.  The fishes that had taken a frustrating hour to cut and gut and prep smashed onto the floor.

And you might have been fine with the destruction of hard work, if it weren’t for the sounds you heard next.

Something creaked.

And cracked.

Your gaze tilted around you, looking for the source, even as your body felt as though it was caught in live wire electricity.

But it was the sound of splitting wood that spurred you into action. 

In a single breath, you felt the home that Rosi had picked and fallen in love with explode.  The walls buckled, as though a giant elephant had expanded in the centre of your home, squeezing out the walls and roof in the process. 

The walls were the first to go.

Then the beams that held up part of the loft.

And then the roof. 

Baby 5 squeaked, dropping under the table.

Shakky stepped out of the way of the collapsing pieces of the roof.

Law expanded his room, a wave of pale blue light circling around the dining table, no doubt to protect Rosi, but included the rest of the people in the room at the same.  That may or may not have included you.  It didn’t matter though, because Rosi was in front of you, shielding you from above from more falling wood and collapsing beams.

How thoughtful.

This was your home.

Your home with Rosi.

The home that was now falling apart around you.  Exposing everyone to the humid weather outside.  If only that was all.

Ray and Sengoku didn’t even notice.

You had had enough.  No one but Rosi got to destroy this home by accident or on purpose!

Pushing Rosi aside, you withdrew the pistols you still carried on you even though this was supposed to be a nice, quiet family dinner, you aimed it at the two older men in the room.

“Wait—” Rosi called after you, but you ignored him.

You fired.  The shots exploded from your pistols in a blast of smoke and fire.

And they didn’t miss.

You’d fired at them knowing that both Ray and Sengoku would heal fine from the shot regardless—if they hadn’t already blocked it with haki hardened skin. 

Immediately the crackle of conqueror’s haki ceased, the pressure against your mind dissipated, and the air no longer sparked with the clash of wills.

“Enough!” you raged. “This was supposed to be a wonderful, loving family dinner.  Rosi was the one who wanted all of you to get along.  I couldn’t care less.  Unfortunately, he’s right.  We love you all, therefore, we wanted you to all meet.  But I’ve had enough.  This is our house, and these are our rules.  Get along or get out.”

“But—” Sengoku growled.

Ray concurred.  “Come now, Interesting Girl—”

“Our house, our rules!” you snapped, cocking your pistols at them both a second time.  “And since the house is destroyed.  You both owe me and Rosi a new one.  Is it so hard to be like your wife and our children?”  You pointed at Shakky, Law, and Baby 5. 

Shakky just smoked with her brows raised in amusement.

Baby 5, also smoked—no wonder she was getting along with Shakky—and fluttered her fingers in a small wave of her hand.  At some point Baby 5 had crawled out from under the table.

Only Law snorted.  “Technically they’re the children here.”

“I am not a child,” said Sengoku.  At the same time, Ray said with a bark of laughter, “The kid’s got a point.” 

Ray stood first, offering his hand to Sengoku.  “Truce?”

Sengoku glared at the man who was once the first mate and vice captain of the great, first King of the Pirates.  He slapped his hand in Ray’s.  “Truce.”  You didn’t need to be part of that handshake to know that they were now having a man-off on who had the strongest grip between them.  Whatever the result, they shook off the other’s hand moments later, and Sengoku flexed his arms, loosening their tension.  “We’ll fix the house.  Sorry, Rosinante, for the mess.”

A glance at Rosi said that he hadn’t expected the explosion at all.  “It’s fine…” he replied, still a bit shell shocked.

“It’ll be done by the end of tomorrow,” Ray promised.  “If you and Rosi are okay to stay with us for a night?”

“It’s fine,” you said with a sigh.

Rosi blinked out of his stupor.  “Uh, yeah.”

Begrudgingly, Sengoku and Ray made plans to help with the house.  Law took his leave, with a pat on Rosi’s back for support.  Baby 5 glomped you with a hug and apologised for the loss of your hard work and the dinner that wasn’t going to happen now, and said she would stay the night at Shakky’s too.

Shakky was admonishing Ray, who was wise enough to look sheepish, saying something along the lines of, “Well, he got me a little riled up.”

When you were finally alone with Rosi, the tension and stress of the dinner finally over, you smiled. 

“Isn’t this nice?” you said slyly to Rosi.  “Getting together as a family?”

Rosi gulped, then sighed.  He wrapped his arms around you.  “I will never, ever ask for a family dinner again.”

You patted him on the back.

~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~

also Gabe pointed out the similarities to poison but said knock knock who cares was inspired by blinding lights by The Weeknd. Listening to blinding lights and yeah I can hear bits of it in poison

I HAVEN'T LISTENED TO IT YET 😭

MY ASS KEEPS FORGETTING TO DESPITE SEEING THIS ASK MORE THAN ONCE, I'M SORRY.