#awi writes

1) On a practical level, I haven’t seen the show live, but just listening to the soundtrack I’m sobbing from Good For You straight through to So Big / So Small so I think the audience needs a hecking break by the finale. And artistically I like that the show ends with a sort of “deep breath” where you’re forced to pause and reflect and all you’ve seen as opposed to an extravagant showstopper. 2) Evan’s remark about reading Connor’s favorite books in an attempt to get to know who he really was is so incredibly moving to me. The whole show no one knows the real Connor Murphy. When he dies and Evan starts lying there is no one there to correct him. No family member or friend of Connor knows him well enough to even contradict the false image Evan creates of him. This in part can stem from grief. We, as people, are not accustomed to accepting the bad in the people close to us. Especially when they die (don’t speak ill of the dead and all that.) We cling to visions of people that make us feel comfortable and help us move on. It is so much easier to see the Connor that Evan fabricates (both in For Forever/ If I Could Tell Her/ Sincerely, Me and Disappear, provided that you consider Evan’s visions of him to be a manifestation of his subconscious and not an actual ghost) that to attempt (and inevitably fail) to understand the complex and deeply flawed Connor who killed himself. Evan’s profession that he wants to know that Connor is in my mind extraordinarily brave. He knows that the Connor he may come to know better may contradict the comforting image he has already, destroying his own coping mechanism, and yet he persists. DEH is very much a story about how individuals (and communities) process grief and this element of the ending reflects the ability for people to face their fears head on and become more resilient as a result (even if, as in the case of Evan, they follow less constructive paths at first.) One of the most tragic and poignant aspects of the show, to me, is that no one knows Connor Murphy. No one knows him, and until this moment it doesn’t seem like anyone much cares. 3) Evan Hansen begins the show as a teenager with very low self-worth. He hates himself and doesn’t see the point in going through day after day as this person he hates. The lines “Dear Evan Hansen,​ Today is going to be a good day. And here’s why: because today, today at least you’re you and—that’s enough,” are so incredibly important. They show tremendous and inspiring growth. The reality of mental illness is that there is no easy quick fix. You cannot be cured by the kindness of others, only bolstered by their support. Self acceptance takes time. The path to happiness is slow and you take it one step at a time. Evan Hansen doesn’t leave the show “cured.” He leaves the show more comfortable with who he is. He leaves the show knowing that he is enough. For a kid who copes with lies and hides from everyone around him this is an amazing feat. And yet it isn’t, it isn’t a magical, overnight transformation. This proclamation doesn’t mean Evan’s work is done or his pain is gone. But it’s the sort of progress I think should be acknowledged and celebrated not only in the context of the show but in real world examples of personal growth. And finally…on another note I just want to say that I appreciate all avenues of this fan base just as I love the comedy and tragedy and social commentary of DEH. I write fanfiction. I reblog dumb memes and in depth analysis with equal enthusiasm. I don’t think there’s one right way to enjoy something. I don’t think a shipper or meme centric fan takes anything away from the deeper meaning of the show with their content. I don’t think people should be shamed or accused of “missing the point” for enjoying something differently. That’s just my two cents. I say the more content the merrier. Thanks for reading.