No Idea Why
Written for @averysterekspring Theme: Free Space
He really should have expected it. Combining Derek’s sass around Stiles with their shared nerdtastic love of the Star Wars franchise, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Still, when, after six months of officially dating, he’d finally worked up the nerve to tell Derek that he loved him, the last thing Stiles had expected was for Derek to smirk and respond with, “I know.”
“You...you know?” Stiles asked, his voice caught on a massive lump in his throat. “What do you mean you know?”
Derek’s smirk softened into a fond smile. He took a few steps closer to Stiles and pulled him into his arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead, ignoring Stiles’ attempts to break free in a huff. “I mean, I know that you love me. I’ve known for a long time,” he whispered, keeping his voice low and forcing Stiles to stop huffing and pay attention to his words.
“But, how did you know? I just figured it out a month ago!” Stiles shouted, remembering the morning he’d woken up late for school and found a cup of coffee and danish sitting on the front seat of his Jeep along with a note telling him to drive safe with a small heart around the D scribbled in the corner.
His brain, even before the first sip of coffee, kicked into overdrive, and he thought, “I love him.” It had been such a surprise to him that he’d ended up sitting in the Jeep until the coffee went cold and he’d missed his first class. He’d then proceeded to spend the next month trying to figure out how to tell Derek and hope he didn’t laugh in his face, just to find out he didn’t even need to worry because Derek already knew!
“Your head may have just figured it out, but your heart and instinct have known all along,” Derek told him.
“You’re infuriating with your crypticness!” Stiles snapped. “I’m going to start calling you Deaton Junior.”
Derek’s eyes flashed blue. “Don’t even think about it,” he growled, showing fangs through his smile that broke through the threat.
“Then give me answers that make sense,” Stiles huffed, but he smiled in return.
“The first time, looking back, that you showed me that you loved me was when you ignored your own fears and prepared to cut off my arm,” Derek said.
Stiles gaped at him. “That was only a few weeks after we met! I wasn’t even sure I liked you then!”
“I said, ‘looking back.’ There were a lot of those moments when you look back over the years we’ve known each other,” Derek continued. “The time you held me up in eight feet of water for two hours even though it would’ve been easier on you to let me drown.”
“I thought you said I did that because I needed you to survive,” Stiles reminded him.
Derek ducked his head, hiding his face in a way that Stiles knew meant he was embarrassed. “I said and did a lot of things during that time that I regret.” He took a deep breath before looking back at Stiles. “We’re not talking about me right now.”
Stiles shrugged. “We could be.”
Derek shook his head. “Do you remember the hospital when Jennifer...Julia had your dad, and we were at the hospital?”
“Kind of hard to forget when a psychopathic Darach seduces my Alpha and kidnaps my father,” Stiles snarked. Derek grinned, and Stiles slapped him on the arm. “Yes, I said my Alpha. You were the only Alpha I trusted at that point.”
“Jennifer left me unconscious in the elevator, and you could have left me there, but you made sure I woke up. You didn’t leave me there at risk of dying,” Derek said. “But even that, that wasn’t the biggest clue.”
“Something bigger?”
“You recognized me when Kate turned me sixteen again. You defended me and stuck by me,” Derek said. “You reeked of arousal.”
Stiles rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t anything new, though.”
“True, but that was the first time I realized that scent was specifically because of me.” Derek reached up to cup Stiles’ cheek. “But that’s still not the singular moment where I no longer had one single doubt that you loved me from the very depths of your soul.”
“Now you’re just being poetic,” Stiles teased, leaning into Derek’s touch. “Get to the point. When was this moment?”
“Mexico. When the berserker mortally wounded me. You didn’t want to leave me. You looked back at me seven times, fighting listening to what I was telling you and wanting to stay by my side. Seven times.”
“I left you dying!” Stiles said, still feeling guilty for leaving him there.
Derek took Stiles by the wrist, moving his hand to lay over his chest. “I’m still alive. I’m still here.” Derek reached up to cup his cheek again, using his thumb to wipe away the tear that had escaped. “I”m still here, and I know that you love me because you have shown me so many times in the years we’ve known each other. Those are just the big moments.”
“There are more?”
“The times you brought me dinner when I was working because you knew I wouldn’t stop to eat. When you reminded me to buckle my seatbelt even though I’d heal from an accident. You always pick up my favorite foods when you swing by the store, just in case I stop by. You are always thinking of me.”
Stiles smiled. “You do all the same things for me,” Stiles said. Derek raised his eyebrows, locking his gaze on Stiles. It took a moment for Stiles’ brain to catch up with his words. “Holy shit, you love me!”
Derek chuckled, leaning in and brushing their lips together. “I do, and I have absolutely no idea why.”
Cross-posted to AO3
