#avoidperfection

1 - I must be perfect

Being human means you will sometimes make mistakes. Perfectionists demand that they never make mistakes and spiral into misery when they do. This then leads to anxiety, worry, fears and a “why bother” attitude.

2 – I must be seen to be perfect

Perfectionists often hold the mistaken idea that other people expect perfection of them, when in reality they probably expect nothing of the sort. This type of perfectionism is often experienced in social situations.

When meeting new people, the perfectionist may be feeling anxious due to the mistaken belief, “If you really knew what I was like then you wouldn’t want to know me” or “If I shake or blush then you will think I am strange.”

3 – I must be able to control my emotions all the time

Perfectionists often hold the mistaken belief, “I must be happy and calm all the time” – believing, for example, “I should never be angry/anxious/ worried/depressed” or “I should never argue with anyone.”

4 – My partner must be perfect

Perfectionists sometimes have unrealistic expectations about relationships and have problems sustaining one because they expect perfection from their partner. At first, it may seem like their mate is everything they’ve been looking for. However, as the relationship becomes more involved, they discover that their partner doesn’t live up to their expectations. The romantic perfectionist finds it difficult to move from the early honeymoon period to a real human intimate relationship, becoming frustrated and depressed.

5 – Other people must be perfect

Perfectionists may believe that other people must always meet their expectations – that they must be perfect. They may also believe that the world must behave in the way they demand – a recipe for disaster. This is unintentionally cruel, self-defeating and also irrational because no one is perfect.

6 – In order to be loved and accepted I must have a perfect body

Holding this or a similar idea may be one of the most potentially damaging forms of perfectionism in our society today and leads to an array of problems including eating disorders, depression and even suicide.