#avik

Yesterday I saw a news article about a young unnamed male motorcyclist that had died in Weetangera. I thought “hey, Avik is a young male motorcyclist who lives in Weetangera” but I didn’t think it was likely it was him, so I brushed it off. It was still niggling at me today though so I researched it more, and they still hadn’t released the man’s name, but had confirmed he was 22. Avik’s age. And I’m feeling horribly weird about it. I don’t want to care about him or always think about him, but I also don’t want him to die. I just feel strange still worrying about him over a year after our breakup, it’s probably been a year since the last time we talked. I’m horribly horribly anxious and weird and don’t know how to feel. Our relationship was pretty horrible and toxic towards the end but... I still think about him. I feel worried and I hate that I’m worried but I also feel like a bad person for hating that I’m worrying about someone, it’s just this awkward horrible spiral :(