#avigirochigda

The thing with Giroda becoming a Wish Master is that to me, the act of getting in a position of authority is not in itself a "happy ending". In fact, with all the abuse that he's suffered, I believe that suddenly having to flip a switch from a social reject to someone who's basically an elected dictator with immense responsibility for those who previously ostracized him is not very healthy. And that is not to say that he's not skilled enough to be a Wish Master or that he doesn't have good intentions.

It's also that to heal, you often need time to breathe, to feel safe. Is being a Wish Master safe? Whenever we interact with him, he seems to be always occupied with something, managing difficult international relationships, the Wishing Woods' PR, his citizens' careers and wellbeing, overhaul of several complex systems like the education or law enforcement.

But those who treated him harshly before, now were socially below him and didn't pose a danger to him anymore. So in a way, he definitely reached a safer place to be compared to what was before.

The effects of complex trauma often arise as a way to adapt oneself to negative situations and environments. It's quite common for abuse survivors' health to plummet when finally being in a safe space, as that "glue" holding the body together to survive a dangerous situation can finally fade away. It is said that the first months or even years of leaving an abusive situation are often the most difficult for the survivor.

And I don't think Giroda was spared this fate.

This boy was abused. What he needed was validation and a space that could help him heal his deepest wounds, express his negative emotions in a safe way and learn to cope and accept those that really care for him. He needed to internalize that he was no longer an outcast hiding in a tree trunk, that he didn't need to defend others or have a fancy title to have any worth.

When he became a Wish Master, was this space the one that would let him achieve all that?

During his ostracized times, that one thing that was the light guiding him forward - was his wish to become a knight.

Becoming a knight is a one-off action, a switch from one state of being to another. It feels measurable and easy to imagine, a dream of comfort and getting recognized conceived by an abused orphaned boy finding peace in the visions of the past. But protecting wishes and fairly guiding the Wishing Woods are an active and continuous struggle with no clear "end" - the dangers can appear anytime anywhere.

I believe that maybe not now, not even in the near future, but there will come a time when being a Wish Master would suffocate Giroda.

With all those smiling faces and apologies, are they nice to him because they value Giroda as a person? Are they really sorry for what they've done and really did not know better? Or are they nice because it's beneficial for them to be friendly to a Wish Master?

As someone who dreamed of adventures and grandiosity, would being confined for a long time in the Temple doing administrative tasks anything close to his dream? Did he REALLY want to be there?

I find it hard to believe he never had these thoughts. I find it hard to believe that he never felt guilty about these thoughts, after all, he was the Wish Master, the whole Wishing Woods relied on him, he had the responsibility to protect them.

And day after day, the protective layers that he built over the years start to shed. Even after many years he still flinches at sudden appearances of the Paladins. Sometimes in the middle of the night he age regresses on the Temple's floor, crying out for his parents, crying out for help, for someone to be there for him and take away all of this.

The Temple becomes nothing more than a new prison he's confined in, however in all aspects worse than the cave - it's a prison he feels morally obligated to never leave.

And in the middle of that, his body desperately starts searching for a lifebelt. He asks himself, why did it all happen? What is the cause for all of this?

He doesn't need to think long about the answer:

Chigda.

He was the one who branded his grandfather as a traitor. He was the one who projected this lie onto his descendants, as if they were guilty of their ancestor's sins. He was the reason that Liroda and Yalobo were dead and Giroda never knew parental love. And he was the one who cowardly tried to escape death and merged with the Desperate Vines, abandoning any care for the society's wellbeing. He was the reason Giroda had to work so hard to fix his mistakes.

Without a chance to properly heal, his mind goes for the easiest perceived solution to his emotional turmoil. And so, a new goal becomes clear in Giroda's mind: to find peace he must completely destroy Chigda's legacy.

For years onwards, as Chigda was remembered as nothing more than a tyrant of the past and a cautionary tale of turning their backs against their god, any influence that Chigda once held gradually faded. The relationship with the Pieceys improved, the Wishcraft Lab and the Wish Inspection Center had enough energy, the Sprites were well-read and eager to engage with the outside world.

But there was one thing, that one tiny little dirty spot on Giroda's flawless project, one... person. Someone the closest to Chigda, who helped him carry out his schemes and hold up his authority.

It was Avicinda.

Giroda has always expressed a dislike towards Avicinda, he could sense that the Paladin Captain disdained him. But deep inside, he couldn't help but admire him a little. He developed a secret crush on him, not really understanding his feelings - shouldn't he have despised him for what he's done?

And it all comes back later, when Chigda is out of the picture. Giroda regards Chigda as the source of evil that needs to be eliminated. And so, after some time, he starts seeing Avicinda in a different light. The Paladin Captain was tainted the most by Chigda's dark influence, planting his devious roots deep in his heart and draining all the goodness out of him. He starts to see him as Chigda's victim.

Giroda starts to grow a quiet obsession with Avicinda. He desperately wants to "save" him from Chigda, show him the "light", a new, happy and healthy life. A new life with him. And that way, he can get rid of the last piece of Chigda still remaining in this world - in Avicinda's heart.

And when that happens, he can finally be free.

But he soon realizes that Avicinda's heart does not want to let go of his past love so easily. Whenever Giroda holds his hand, it's as if he is the only one who clenches his fingers. When standing next to each other, Avicinda's gaze keeps wandering. When having sex, he cannot shake off the feeling that Avicinda would rather do it with someone else.

The fear and unease come back full force to Giroda. He asks himself, "how can this be? What did Chigda have that I don't?" Everybody around him is telling him that he's better than Chigda in every way, and he cannot understand why Avicinda won't love him without ~his~ shadow still lingering. "What did Chigda do that I don't do better?"

His obsession and possesiveness only grows, desperately clinging to this one thing that protects his ego from the brutal effects of trauma and vulnerability. His despair grows every day feeling that he is just one step away from the awaited peace. But in his mind, he's doing a good thing, he wants to save Avicinda, protect him from the influence of that disgraced Wish Master - isn't that what knights do?

A setting sun spells another day coming to an end. As usual, Giroda takes a stroll across the Grand Millewish Tree to carefully observe the busy life of the Faewish Sprites before he can decide that his job as the Wish Master is finished for the day. When his usual route takes him near Avicinda's house, he stops for a moment. He recalls noticing earlier that Avicinda acted a bit suspicious, more… unavailable than usual. Even though Giroda has put so much effort into ensuring that Avicinda doesn't need that son of a bitch, unpleasant feelings still linger in his chest.

He decides to do what he does best: sneakily take a peek, ensure that nothing bad is happening, and fly away without a trace. Thankfully, Avicinda's house is more on the outskirts of the living area, so it's easy to take advantage of. Giroda looks around to ensure that there are no witnesses and very carefully flies closer to the window. Slowly, he lifts himself up until he can take a glimpse inside.

And what he sees there takes his breath away.

Through the window, Giroda's eyes first land on Avicinda — a view he secretly saw many times before. His beautiful, fit body, looking even more striking with little glimmers adorning his naked body. His long hair falling down his shoulders and to his feet, messy fringe partially covering his scarred eye, golden sparkles on his ear reflecting afternoon sunlight with every move.

Oh how Giroda adores this sight, how often he longed to see it again, risked so much, even with a threat of Paladins seizing him, to catch a glimpse of the mean Captain in his private moments, those when Giroda can derive perverse fascination from being a witness to his real self.

But this time, the beautiful scene is defiled.

Under Avicinda's perfect body lies an intruder. The pleasant sounds of the former Captain are interwoven with a voice that sends a chill down Giroda's spine. A dream breeding with a nightmare.

Giroda unconsciously grips the window ledge hard, his heart beating aggressively in his chest.

It's Chigda.

So that scum actually dares to set a foot in the Wishing Woods, knowing damn well that it's Giroda's territory. So that scum actually dares to put his hand on Avicinda, knowing damn well that it's Giroda's territory. So he feels safe enough in Giroda's territory to strip himself naked and close his eyes, giving himself away in pleasure.

And the worst part is, not only all of his worst suspicions get confirmed, but the reality proves to be even worse — Avicinda, hiding him, touching him, fucking him, running back to him-!

Giroda's whole body feels as if it was struck by a lightning. Witnessing this scene of betrayal with his own two eyes…

But Avicinda is not the only one who betrayed him.

A new feeling snaps him back to reality. He looks down to see that his stamen, already hard, pushes against his pants, yearning to be freed. This… involuntary reaction fills Giroda's cheeks with blood and his heart with shame. He understands being aroused by Avicinda, he's done that many times, but Chigda?

And yet, there is something about this scene that makes him not want to avert his eyes. To see Chigda, Chigda, one that haunts his nightmares, one that delights in being a monster — laying on his back, completely naked, letting himself be touched, penetrated… His voice, one that Giroda remembers so vividly from mocking his purpose and admit to terrible things, now letting out sighs and moans of pleasure, whispering a name of the person he gave himself to — Avicinda…

Such a monster…

So… vulnerable…

Giroda bites his lip. Maybe it's the context that he was never supposed to see Chigda in… but once he locks his eyes on him, he cannot look away. The stamen is pulsating painfully in his pants, begging to be touched. But Giroda refuses to masturbate looking at the two of them — he takes a silent vow to never pleasure himself with that monster there.

Their movements become faster and more passionate. Giroda's hips move slightly, creating a tiny bit of friction to his stamen to release the unbearable heat.

They kiss, and Giroda's mouth impulsively opens, ready to let in a tongue that isn't there.

An inevitable culmination unveils an explosion of golden before his eyes. Avicinda releases his pollen, and Giroda, as if his body mirrored his, does the same, even without any help from his hands.

He concentrates all of his effort to not make any sound even as a wave of intense pleasure makes him black out for a moment. He stops floating and lands on the wooden floor outside, covering his mouth, desperately trying to control his heavy breathing.

As he regains control of his thoughts after cumming, he frantically looks around, begging the Wishing One that no one saw him. Finally, he looks down again to see his shaking legs with trails of pollen leaking from his pants. He cannot believe it — he just came, he just came looking at Chigda, and even worse… imagining himself in Avicinda's place… he came imagining that he fucked Chigda…

Common sense starts to come back to him and, scared that they might have noticed him, he takes a peek again to see what the couple is doing now. To his terror, he sees no one there. His ears pick up familiar voices outside.

In quick instincts he flies behind a tree trunk. Indeed, Avicinda and Chigda, already clothed, are now outside of the house. They murmur something to each other, looking around suspiciously.

The bitter thoughts come back to Giroda. They know they shouldn't do that. They know that I can send the Paladins and snatch him anytime…

His body moves a few millimeters, ready to do exactly that. Suddenly, another spark in his mind stops him midair. He recoils and continues to watch the two.

Avicinda points somewhere and him and Chigda both fly away somewhere.

Giroda, while this sight might have normally upset him, has only waited for this moment.

The heat in his groin starts to build up again. He scrupulously investigates the surroundings before leaving his hideout, then in a quick succession, he forces open the door to Avicinda's house and throws himself on his bed, panting loudly.

He doesn't stop his mouth from smiling widely as he notices that the bed still bears the marks of their mating. He knows that Avicinda can be back at any moment. In this brief moment of intimacy — just him and the shadow of the two Sprites still living in his imagination — he is ready to take advantage of every second.

The danger makes it even more exciting.

Giroda runs his fingers all over the sheets, trying to grasp the already fading heat, absorbing every sensation. He leans down, desperately trying to catch the lingering smell of the depraved act that just took place there.

His hands find their way to his stamen through the pants and begin to rub it. The remains of their pollen are blended together to create a taste so irresistible, one that makes Giroda savor every last drop he can find. With his eyes closed, he imagines that he eats Avicinda's fresh pollen out of Chigda's ass. The moans still ring in his ears, remembering Chigda's body weighing on the bed, his blushing face, the eyes that were once locked lovingly at Avicinda are now locked at Giroda.

The Wish Master loses himself in the fantasy and everything around him stops existing — the house that's not his, all the Sprites he's responsible for, fear of being caught, Avicinda that might come back, any moral objection he would normally have. The only thing that exists for him is Chigda, still sore from being assfucked by Avicinda.

Lost in all the sensations, Giroda feels that he's getting close. He bites his lip, recalling all the noises Chigda made while reaching his peak. He cannot hold it anymore as overwhelming waves of pleasure flood his body — he lets out a loud moan and falls face down on the bed, his whole body twitching.

He turns on his back and tries to catch his breath after experiencing one of the best orgasms in his life. He finally gets up and takes a look at the bed, its sheets even more messed up, bearing a mark of an intruder.

Giroda fully anticipates shame to hit him like a truck any moment now, but to his surprise, that moment doesn't come. From the depths of his mind emerges even a slight feeling of… satisfaction?

A smile yet again appears on his face. Yes, satisfaction.

"Avicinda thought he could just abandon me and fuck that disgraced murderous bitch on the side…" his eyes trail the pollen left by the three of them, among them being his own cum, freshly spread out on top. What was once a place of heartbreak and betrayal, now feels like one of triumph. "But this time I will not let myself be thrown to the side. This time you are not getting rid of me that easily."