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Hey. I very frequently have memories of embarrassing stuff I've said / done / stuff i feel stupid about. And whenever I do I automatically hit myself, or if I'm around others I'll like twitch my arm or put my hand up to my head. I'm not sure how to stop the hitting, cause its an automatic reaction. And I'm not sure how to stop these thoughts. Also do you know what the cause of this would be, I have social anxiety and low self-esteem so it could be related to that.
It sounds like these memories are really distressing for you, which is why you may have such an intense automatic reaction to hit yourself. Honestly, one of the best things you can do is consider talking to a professional about this. In the meantime, remember that right now you may not be able to control/change the first initial thoughts you have that remind you of distressing things, or the initial reaction of twitching/hurting yourself, but you can control the second thought you have. try to begin telling yourself things like “xyz event was in the past and over now”, “I am not stupid because I made a mistake or did something embarrassing”, even if you dont believe it. over time, and with a lot of practice, telling yourself these “second thoughts” that are more positive or at least neutral may become more automatic and less forced.
Take care,
Ari