#autistic fandom

Hello~! I'm a Fan Studies graduate student. I'm currently researching how anime and manga (plus fandom) help shape the identity of neurodivergent young adults, with a focus on autistic people - I am one myself.

Therefore, I'd like to forward a few open-answer questions to my lovely neurodivergent folks. Whoever might be interested, please, feel free to provide the answers through the ask section!

Thank you so~ much ❤

~~~

How much time do you spend on anime, manga and related activities (i.e. engaging in forums, cosplaying…) ?

How important has anime and manga consumption been for your mental well-being?

What kind of characters do you identify the most with? For what reasons?

What kind of characters are your favourite and why?

What characters do you identify as autistic? For what reasons?

What is fandom for you? How would you describe its concept?

How important is being part of a fandom for you?

Being part of a fandom has helped with your sociability and sense of belonging?

Do you engage in any fannish production? (fan art, fiction, amv…), if so, of what kind?

Since representation matters: do you think fan production can actually help minority discourses to emerge through fanon and headcanon reformulations? How so?

Would you live in Japan based on what you’ve learned so far? Please explain your reasons

Are you officially diagnosed or self-diagnosed?

By what name or nickname would you like to be referred?

Age, nationality

NOTES:

Questions work as a guideline. I highly suggest following your own trail of thoughts and share whatever piece of information you may feel like. Your input is precious to me and essential to the research!

i do!! i have a lot, my husband and i like to talk about autistic kaoru! sososo, autistic kaoru headcanons:

• carbonara is his favourite comfort meal. however, he's also got a sweet tooth, and his favourite treat is (non-dairy) kitkats. he likes to carry them around just in case.

• he has a squishmallow he's modified to have a carla chip in. it can play him lullabies to sleep, he can talk to it, but it also has the very good stim feel so if he's having a bit of a bad night, it's nice to cuddle. he's a bit ornery when it comes to people knowing about it; kojiro does but he is not allowed to tell anyone.

• if he's struggling with code or work for a client, he likes to lie stretched out on the floor of his office. if he's really struggling, he might wriggle around a bit.

• people think ai or calligraphy are his biggest special interests but they're not! they're pretty high up, but skateboarding will always be his biggest special interest. he has a large collection of skateboarding magazines, has played every tony hawk's pro skater game, can tell you lots of historical facts about skateboarding and has lost count how often he's watched lords of dogtown.

• he struggles to talk about his special interests in depth because he's genuinely embarrassed about the times he's not masking. when he does just let go though? fast pace of talking, finger-flexing, and while he still comes across with the same tone and is still very much kaoru, he smiles. he's someone who's learned to mask heavily but these moments help him to have fun.

• cultural history of japan is another huge special interest for him. he has lots of notebooks from over the years where he's gathered facts and wrote his own opinions.

• drawing lines with his favourite personal pens is another stim he loves. he can sit for hours drawing lines- straight lines, wavy lines, creating shapes, just idly doing it with soft music on in the background. it's soothing.

• he has a favourite mug, a favourite bowl and favourite cutlery at home. he has another set at kojiro's. and he always gets the same dinnerware at sia la luce- kojiro knows, and keeps it aside for him. the mugs at his and kojiro's places are sentimental. one was a promo for a show he was into and the other came from a tacky gift shop on a holiday.

• he has one of these weighted blankets. this + the sofa + tea at the end of a difficult week = a calm kaoru. if he falls asleep from exhaustion, kojiro will put it over him to reduce his risk of nightmares. the only person he'll share it with is miya; they like to roast bad (age-appropriate) films together.

i hope you get to engage with them in a way that brings you joy rather than shame or anxiety.

Executive dysfunction is kicking my ass and you’re really organized tell me your secrets

I’ve had a crush on you since forever but I can’t tell you because I have really bad communication issues so I keep trying to drop hints, but you don’t recognize hints so we’re just fucked (bonus points for mutual pining w/ person B unsure how to tell if A likes them back)

What is this... Emotion.... I’m feeling around you..... I just can’t figure it out..... Wait it’s attraction isn’t it. God damn it. Fuck.

That’s my stimm! My stimm! Sorry to bother you, random stranger, but I just had to cross the street to let you know that we have the same stimm : D

    or alternatively

That’s my stimm! My stimm! How dare you. Do u wanna fucking go wait ur hot nevermind

You were sarcastically quoting an ableist about something and I missed the sarcasm bit and may have, uh, accidentally punched you in the face, please don’t press charges I’ll take you out somewhere to make up for it

I lost my comfort object and you returned it

I have like zero spoons right now so I’ve been holed up in my apartment and apparently you were worried something had happened to me because you came by to check on me and bring me a fruit basket?? That is really sweet of you I’ll be sure to thank you for it sometime once I can actually interact with people

You were talking about your special interest and your face just like... lit up... I have no idea what any of those words you said meant but now I’m going to look them up because I really want to talk with you again

I’m giving a presentation on ableism and your keep interrupting. Your comments and questions are all really good and shit, but if you make me lose my train of thought again I swear I’m going to punch somebody

That’s my special interest! My special interest! (ect)

You bumped into me by accident and I screamed really loudly, which would be mortifying in any case but it’s even worse right now because you’re actually my longtime crush

Wait you are not exhausting to be around, holy shit. Are you kidding me let’s get married right now immediately

Somebody just told me at a party that they couldn’t picture me dating anyone because I was so “”childish”“ so I kissed the nearest person to make a point and that was you, haha whoops.

Our parents were trying to set us up and we were both dreading it because we hate interacting with neurotypicals, but then halfway through we realized that we were both being awkward for the same reason and actually hit it off.

I overheard you telling your friend about something bad that had happened in your life and started crying because hyperempathy, this is the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me

I keep unintentionally doing things that you find hilarious, and I feel like I should be mad but your laugh is really cute and now I’m playing it up so that you’ll laugh around me more please never stop doing that ever

I was having a meltdown in the supermarket and you were really nice about it and lent my your earplugs/stimm toys/ect so I could function enough to get out of there, can I take you out for thank you coffee or something

Wait is your special interest actually math, haha nerd (tutor me I am failing this class)

Me: This texture is a good texture. Feel how good this texture is! Feel it You: This texture is a hell texture. What is wrong with you. Stop rubbing this on my face oh my god

I missed my bus and it completely threw off my routine for the rest of the day, and I am like this close to having a breakdown, but I met you because of it so maybe not a total loss??

I was wispering “fuck” to myself in different tones as an echolalia thing and I only realized you could hear me when you started uncontrollably laughing