I’ve had plenty of shutdowns before in school but never between classes where I have to move to another room. Today, our bell system is REALLY FUCKING LOUD like even the NTs think it’s loud. And I’m currently very shaky and trying to pull myself together cause we have really short class periods on Fridays.

I’ve never gotten in trouble before at school. One of the main things my school does for punishment is take your phone if they think it’s causing the problem. Or if it’s preventing you from following direction. I need my music to help ground me. If they take that away I’ll be even worse. If they tap my shoulder or yell at me to move when I canT it’ll be even worse. I’m terrified.

I hope to god that they fix it by the end of class cause if it’s that loud again I might shutdown and not be able to move from my seat. They’re going to think I’m being stubborn. Or trying to nap.

Backstory:

For as long as I can remember, I have simply known it to be a fact that, for me, the optimal thermostat setting is 72 degrees Fahrenheit.

I know this temperature, it feels right. If the temperature is off even just a little bit, I can tell. It feels uncomfortable, and I don’t like it, and that’s just the way it is.

...

So, lately, I’ve been re-watching the original Twilight Zone series. Reminiscing about good childhood things, I suppose. Then, tonight, BAM! Season 2, episode 8, “The Lateness of the Hour” In the very first minutes of the episode, the characters have a conversation about the perfection of their home, which includes comments about the pleasantness of their 72 degree home, which is declared as “the optimal temperature”. Of course, I recognize it immediately, and it sparks a chicken-and-egg question:

Did I decide that 72 degrees was “the optimal temperature” because I heard it on the Twilight Zone 30 years ago, on an episode about a “perfect” family, and subconsciously attempted to emulate that perfection, and have simply grown particularly accustomed to it over time? (which, for me, is an entirely plausible scenario!)

Or was it truly my own discovery that 72 was what was best for me, as the result of listening to my body early on and over the years? (which seems less plausible, actually...)

So I wondered; if it is the latter, then is this old episode just a crazy coincidence, or is it actually a real fact that 72 degrees Fahrenheit is indeed the “optimal temperature” for occupied human spaces, and I happen to be particularly in tune with that somehow? (Which is similarly implausible seeming.) So, naturally, I looked it up and according to this site, my preferred setting is smack-dab between the winter and summer thermostat recommendations.

And, then I get to wondering; is it the case that I looked that up at some point in my young adulthood, and decided that it was too much to remember/coordinate, and so picked the setting that was smack-dab in the middle, for the purposes of year-round simplicity?? (A scenario which is definitely plausible.)

But, then I wondered about a different sort of perspective on it and searched for “Sheldon Cooper thermostat settings” because I was pretty confident such a scene existed...and, of course it did:

But, then I knew I couldn’t post that clip without saying something else, too.

First: I am in the “Sheldon is clearly Autistic” side of the “is he or isn’t he?” question that gets asked now and again in Autistic social forums/etc. This is because there is just SO MUCH of Parson’s portrayal of Sheldon resonates with me, personally.

But...  I have to say... As much as there is oh-so-much about Sheldon Cooper to which I can relate, there is also so very much about to his general social situation to which I can relate as well. I get what it’s like to have “friend’s” say things like “going bat-shit crazy”, or “nuts”. Or talk about you behind your back. Or be snarky at you for what seems like no good reason... for what seems like nearly all the time.

I watch the clip... I hear the laugh track... ...and I’ve got a lump in my throat.

Seriously, why do people treat each other like that? Why is it socially acceptable, expected even, to “pick on the weird kid”? It’s just so ugly, and gross.

...but, I digress.