#autismcore

For context, I'm autistic and have issues with anxiety and OCD, and I have lots of coping mechanisms but an important one is fidget toys. I often have a main one that I will bring everywhere. If I don't have it with me I can get pretty distressed. Right now my main fidget toy is one like this (except it's red). My dad 3D printed it for me, among many others. He doesn't understand why I need them but he makes them anyways.

Yesterday I had to take a Lyft home from work. My driver was a nice guy, mid-40s. We chatted about how he's a professional juggler, and made some small talk about the city. A totally unusual ride. Of course I'm playing with my fidget toy cause being in cars (and other confined spaces) makes me nervous.

I get home and realize I can't find my fidget toy. I look everywhere: every room, every pocket of every jacket, every bag. Nothing. It dawns on me that I might have left it on the Lyft. I immediately contact my driver through the app. I tell him this fidget toy is important to me and I'd appreciate it if he could return it if he finds it. My hopes are low.

Today, not only did he respond but he tells me found my fidget toy. He says he has it "safe and sound" and that he'll "carefully" package it and mail it to me. He probably doesn't understand why it's important, or how it helps me. He might not even really understand autism or anxiety. But now he's taking care of this stupid plastic thing he wouldn't think twice about because I said it was important to me and want it returned, and he believed me and now it's important to him too.

(I only feel regulated when I come on tumblr; it feels like the last tangible part of life left before 2020 forever changed the structure of socialization, before my entire life was halted and permanently altered, before everything started feeling so false and fake)

ヽ(；▽；)

Another blue Mecore stimboard