If society were more tolerant and understanding of autistic people, they could ditch their camouflage and be themselves
Excerpt:
Imagine you are visiting a very different culture â if you are from Europe or the United States, then perhaps somewhere like Japan. On arrival at your hostâs house, you hesitate on the threshold â should you remove your shoes? Is shaking hands appropriate? Should you have brought a gift? Is your host offended already, but being polite by not showing it?
In this situation, where the unspoken social rules are mysterious to you, it would be natural to watch others carefully and copy what they do. Over time, by observing and copying, you might succeed in blending in â but it will be exhausting, even after some things become almost habitual. And, of course, there is always the risk that your tactics backfire â for instance, you might inappropriately copy behaviour thatâs deemed acceptable only from one gender, or in one specific context.
Now imagine doing that, not just for a few hours a day for a fortnight, but every waking moment, for your entire adult life. That is what many people â particularly women â on the autism spectrum describe when they talk about âputting on the maskâ or âcamouflagingâ their autism. For them, the nonautistic or âneurotypicalâ world is a completely alien âcultureâ where the implicit social rules are baffling. Why are some types of lie (âNo, your bum doesnât look big in thatâ) acceptable and others not? When do people mean âHow are you?â or âSee you laterâ, and when is it just a way of saying hello and goodbye? What is the right distance to stand from someone, and how long should a handshake last?















