The process of humanizing the autistic community is difficult and ongoing, but it must begin with a pivot away from our male-centric focus.
Excerpt:
Whereas autistic men like myself are often identified early on, women report that their symptoms are dismissed, sometimes for many years, due to stereotypes about their gender and race.
âSocial awkwardness? Of course not; apparently Iâm just rudeâlike all the stereotypes of âsassyâ black women rolling their heads and necks in a circle while firing off some retort,â Onaiwu says. âLack of eye contact? Apparently Iâm a âshy girlâ or âplaying hard to getâ or âshifty.â Or maybe Iâm just being respectful and docile because Iâm African and direct eye contact might be a faux pas. Sensory overload, or maybe a meltdown? Nope, more like aggression or being a drama queen. Anything but what it really isâan Autistic person being Autistic who happens to be black and happens to be a woman.â
According to Sharon daVanport, who identifies as autistic and serves as president of Autism Womenâs Network, these types of gendered expectations can be very difficult to navigate. For instance, âan eight-year old boy might have an intense interest in collecting maps,â leading his parents to worry that his desire to remain inside all the time is a signal that something might be wrong. âIn contrast, a young girl who spends hours upon hours researching her intense interest will be considered quiet, polite, lady-like, and all the other gender-based labels which society assigns to girls before theyâre even born,â she said.
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âSome of the behaviors displayed by those on the autism spectrum scale seem to be the way many men in patriarchal societies (like ours) conduct themselves,â explains Esther Nelson, an adjunct professor at Virginia Commonwealth College. Nelson, who believes her husbandâs symptoms are consistent with an ASD diagnosis, has written about the intersection between autism and feminism, especially in terms of relationships. For example, Nelson notes that men who seem ârigid,â aggressive or lacking in empathy may not stand out in the way that women exhibiting the same behavior might. Even people who are aware of autism and are educated to some degree are more inclined to give her spouse a pass for certain negative behaviors.

















