#author's commentary

The opening scene is Luce hiding from the maids. Although she is quite bold, she tends to hide—literally and figuratively—from her problems. She can be willfully blind to things she doesn't like, e.g. Rhaenyra and Daemon eyeing each other while Laenor's in the room. Also, notice that she has a habit of pulling her hair in front of her face when she's nervous; she is trying to "hide" behind her hair.

Luce notes that Rhaenyra is distracted by Laena's death. Laena's funeral means Daemon is coming back to Westeros, which is a Very Big Deal for Rhaenyra after Daemon's been gone so long. There is a parallel with Luce and Aemond later, after Aemond comes back from the Stepstones.

Part of Luce's character journey is trying to live up to the extremely high standards that Jace sets. Quite a few times, Luce asks herself, "WWJD—what would Jace do?" Sometimes the answer is a good thing, like helping her sister. But at other times, Luce tries too had to be somebody that she isn't, and that just makes her unhappy.

Realistically, the Targkids should have separate lessons. The boys and girls would be separated at least; they might even all have their own maester and/or septa. I imagine the Red Keep has a fairly large number of maesters and septas working there. But I love the idea of throwing them all into one classroom, so I came up with an in-universe justification.

Slight tangent: I read a lot of historical nonfiction. A lot of what I read in these historical nonfiction books never makes it into my fics. But there was a book about the history of paper which led me to the conclusion that even in the royal family, they aren't letting the kids use paper willy-nilly at lessons. In an era where STUFF costs a lot, it makes more economical sense—even at the most elite tier of society—to have kids use reusable writing slates for most of their lessons. Anyway, tangent over.

The maester who teaches the lesson is named Maladon, because I wanted to draw upon the "mal" association for "bad."

I love the scene where Luce and Aegon fight over the seat next to Jace. It exudes sibling energy.

Luce hates being picked up. Aemond is the first to rebuke Aegon when Aegon picks her up.

Joff is a very smart kid. She's also the youngest in a huge brood of siblings and stand-in siblings. She is desperate to catch up and keep up with the others. I'm pretty sure she taught herself to read and write out of sheer stubbornness. I actually have a draft for a fic that's basically Joff writing in her diary. The very first entry looks like this:

MY NAME IS JOFF. TOODAY IS MY FIVETH NAMEDAY. THIS IS MY NEW DIERY. HEL SAYS I CAN RITE ABOUT WHAT I DO AND FEEL EVERY DAY. TOODAY I EATED NO VEGEBLES. TOODAY IS A GOOD DAY.

Helaena's scribble, "The butterfly comes west upon a wind of tears," is 100% about Rhaena coming to Westeros for Laena's funeral.

It's easy to dislike Maladon, but imagine his POV for a moment. He has three ideal students: Jace, Aemond, Daeron. Can't ask for better pupils. And then there's Aegon, the raunchy class clown; Helaena, the space cadet; Lucera, the constant truant. He's hoping Joff will fall into the first camp of ideal students, but…well, we see what happens at the end of the lesson. LOL.

Joff quickly susses out there's bad blood between Maladon and Luce. Joff loves being told she's smart, but she REALLY doesn't like people dissing her sisters.

Maladon is in quite a pickle. Joff is a princess, so he can't use force to get her to stop biting (laying hands on a royal is a big no-no). He has to hope someone else will help, which Jace does eventually.

All the Targs really love that weirwood in the Red Keep, huh? 1000% foreshadowing for Luce and Aemond's Hunsford proposal failed proposal down the road.

Luce finds the act of making leaf crowns calming, similarly to how she enjoys knitting and other activities that require her hands. She has trouble sitting still for long periods of time, so being able to do something with her hands is immensely relieving.

Aemond and Luce practice reading and writing together a lot. Luce really misses their reading sessions once she moves to Dragonstone.

"I'm one of the Children of the Forest." It seems like destiny when Aemond comes across that book later, with the illustration of a Child who looks like Luce.

Nine Voyages by Maester Mathis is a book about Corlys mentioned in A World of Ice and Fire.

Luce thinks it's no big deal to ask Corlys about his voyages, but that's because she is Corlys's beloved granddaughter. Aemond knows very well that Corlys's affection for Luce does not transfer to Aemond and his siblings…but this changes after the Stepstones.

I spent way too much time thinking about the natural state of Aemond's hair LOL. Young Aemond's hair is wavy. Adult Aemond's hair is pin straight, although it looks wavy when wet. Apparently puberty can change how curly/straight your hair is, so I decided that's what happened to Aemond's hair: it went from wavy to straight during adolescence.

Luce starts out wanting to let her hair hang loose like all the other women around her—Jace, Rhaenyra, Helaena, Alicent—but she's wayyy more physically active than the others, and she's very resistant to braids. Once Rhaena comes into the picture, Luce figures out the best way to care for her hair and compromises (big theme in the fic!) with putting her hair in nets when needed. But Luce will always most love letting her hair down, literally and figuratively.

I thought of a whole backstory for Vermax's egg. Vermax is green and orange, so her egg had similar coloring. Do you know who else has green and orange coloring?

So I had this thought that Alicent really liked the colors of the egg, and Viserys promised to let one of their kids have it. Either Aegon (as the eldest) or Aemond, who was newly born. Then Jace was born, and Rhaenyra really wanted the egg for her firstborn, so Viserys let Jace have it instead. And that's one of the reasons that Alicent was so bitter when Jace was born.

"Dragons are not tools for flirting." IDK Aemond, seems like Aegon is doing a much better job at getting the girl lmao.

My 500+ day (at the time) streak on Duolingo for High Valyrian culminated in me translating the very simple sentences in this chapter.

When Aemond says, "It should be raqiros (friend) not raqiarzy (beloved)," Arrax basically shakes his head like, "Nah, bro, she got it right the first time."

Since Jace and Luce would definitely not be up for the Pink Dread in this verse, Aegon uses Daeron as his assistant. But Jace figures out what's up, because she knows Aegon so well.

Six Maids in a Pool is the canonical song about Florian and Jonquil, but I think GRRM only wrote one lyric, "Six maids there were in a spring-fed pool." The other results I looked up seem fanmade, so I came up with some lyrics of my own. As was mentioned in The Golds, Jace looooves this song.

"One of the court minstrels was a bit drunk." Luce is willing to lie when the situation calls for it, but she was kind of telling the truth if you consider Aegon a court minstrel.

Luce implies that Rhaenyra is tone-deaf. LOL.

Honestly, Aegon sets a pretty high bar for romantic gestures. Luce is constantly hoping that Aemond will do the same thing for her, but it just doesn't come naturally to Aemond. Just as Luce eventually learns that she doesn't have to be a replica of Jace, she also learns that her relationship with Aemond doesn't have to be the same as Jace/Aegon.

Luce's meditations on the word "compromise." Title drop!! One day she's going to look back on this conversation and laugh.

Even in her panic about the storm, Luce is a girl's girl. Can't let Rhaenyra suspect that Jace is meeting with Aegon!

For the most part, I wanted this chapter to be about Dagmar and Shral and how they've progressed from the early days - but more importantly, it was an excellent time to address some lingering questions that had been hanging over Dagmar's head for a while now. Dagmar has mentioned that she has a bunch of questions before, but she's never actually managed to find a moment to ask some of them that felt right until now. There is a lingering sense of strong attraction throughout the scene, of giddiness and excitement, but it's balanced with caution and reserve. As much as I had fun writing spicy content for Dagmar and Shral after so long, now wasn't the time for the scene to lean towards that again. This chapter was supposed to be about intimacy without sex.

There's a bizarre and terrifying intensity about letting a new partner undress you for the first time (chapter 45 doesn't quite count), and for some there is a horrible, profound anxiety and sense of vulnerability that comes with that as well. There's a lot of non-verbal checking in, which is just so important, but also there's the way that Shral reaches for her face first above all other options that speaks of a kind of regard that bodes very well for their future. It's very much a deliberate choice on his part.

As the chapter progresses, Dagmar finally asks a very important question, which leads to a much, much overdue conversation between our intrepid heroes. We also see more about the level of insight that Dagmar now has into Shral's character, where before he was still very much a mystery. She's able to puzzle out a lot of his behaviours now, with the help of the bond, but she's also aware that without the fledgling bond she may never have managed. Moreover, Shral is hyperaware of this as well, and was agitated enough about it to conveniently neglect to mention a few small details that provided him with a sense of affirmation without him having to actually ask for it.

“I should have explained at the time,” Shral murmured when she remained quiet, his eyes flicking down and away as his antennae lowered into a posture she hadn’t seen on him before; curled close to his brow in submission. She’d witnessed that positioning before, of course - usually when Thoris was bossing someone around - but never on Shral. Never towards her.  He was behaving as though he expected her to be a lot angrier than she was. The fact that she hadn’t reacted according to his expectations seemed to confuse him.  “I’m not angry. I could have asked then and I didn’t,” Dagmar began slowly, watching Shral carefully as his antennae perked up and he glanced up at her again. The bond seemed to swell with a feeling she struggled to name, but whatever it was it left the impression of disbelief mingled with several other very complicated feelings. It dimmed considerably when she continued, “but I would like to know why you didn’t say anything.”  “Foolishness, mostly,” Shral answered, brutally honest in the quiet of the room, as water dripped and steam curled. “And perhaps a little selfishness.”  That last bit caught Dagmar’s interest. “Selfishness?”  “I knew you didn’t realise what it meant…” A grimace stole over Shral’s features, but he held her gaze and spoke with that same blunt, upfront tone, trailing off abruptly as if he hadn’t figured out how to finish the sentence yet. That alone was unusual. 

For the record, this is not a good behaviour and even Shral recognises that. Dagmar is rightly dismayed by the whole thing. If it had been much more alarming issue being discussed, such as a binding arrangement versus what she flippantly describes as advertising big feelings, she probably would have been justifiably angry about it. The fact that Shral very clearly knows that he was in the wrong both helps his case and hurts it, here. Instead of getting angry, Dagmar takes the time to consider the matter - and her reaction - carefully. This is probably what I love most about Dagmar: she can be reactive under the right circumstances, but she vastly prefers to stop and think things through more often than not. Dagmar tends towards problem-solving over emotional outbursts more often than not, and this conversation is no different.

Instead of choosing the confrontational route, she bypasses it entirely by expressing a gentle, remarkably forgiving sort of disappointment in Shral's choices and proposes an alternate course of action in the future. It's very clear to them both that they need to make an effort to talk more openly at this point.

Not bad! Actually a pretty mature approach to the issue overall! You know, except for the bit where Dagmar conveniently neglects to mention that she's planning on harassing her poor doctor for a basic Andorian sex ed class in a few days, which would explain a lot of her weird behaviours to Shral at that moment.

This is also not ideal behaviour, and in fact rather hypocritical of her. Does Dagmar realise this? No, no she does not.

Shral’s eyes, vividly green and flecked with gold, narrowed shrewdly at her. “Perhaps you should lead by example and elaborate about your experiences with our security checkpoints.” 

Shral, of course, immediately turns the tables of Dagmar using her own words against her, and then we come to The Hair Thing.

Shral is understandably dismayed and displeased to learn that his girlfriend basically let the security officers paw at her hair, which is apparently vastly more important to her culturally than he'd previously been aware of, instead of just asking for him to come vouch for her. Worse, she demeans the value of her customs and culture like it doesn't matter - like she doesn't matter - which is blatantly insulting to both of them, really.

“I see.” Shral sighed, and the bond carried a strange kind of weight across the gap between them. It felt heavy, stifling. “I’d better ask if I’ve overstepped similarly, then.” 

Then there's the dawning horror of realising that he basically did the same thing not an hour ago. Actually, what he did was probably worse. After all, what would Shral know about it? She's as alien to him as he is to her, after all, and if Dagmar says her hair is supposed to be kept up and away from prying eyes for some sort of alien modesty thing, then he's very probably made some kind of horrendous faux pas by yanking on it during sex. Never mind that she pulled his hair, too (and we will discuss Shral's incredibly slutty hair cut some other time) - he's Andorian. It's not the same.

The scene progresses from there, and we learn a little more about the bond as well. By the end of the chapter we get an idea as to how their dynamic has shifted from this single conversation, just a little, to something just a tiny bit stronger than before.

“Are all Humans so adaptable?” Shral wondered with a narrow slash of a smile, shifting in his seat. Dagmar couldn’t imagine he was particularly comfortable on that footstool after so long - it wasn’t exactly designed for comfortable sitting. “Or are you simply determined to surprise me at every turn?”

By the end of the chapter we've learned that Shral is an uptight, emotionally constipated man who dislikes ambiguity in any form and yet also has a very low confidence level where his ability to predict Dagmar is concerned. He thought she'd be angry with him - she wasn't. He thought she'd uncomfortable with the bond and avoid using it - she wasn't and very clearly didn't. Earlier in Chapter 45, he'd most likely expected to be some kind of celibate for months according to some cursory research on her strange, alien customs - she threw that idea out the window immediately. Even in some of their earliest interactions, Shral's simple prediction that Dagmar would dislike vithi on principle, since Humans seemed somewhat averse to especially bitter things, was completely off. At every turn, Shral fails to entirely predict Dagmar. He can make accurate guesses most of the time, but every now and then shejust randomly jukes left when he anticipates her going right, and it's both utterly maddening and terribly interesting.

Whatever else he might feel at the time, Shral is never bored when Dagmar is around.

It only seems appropriate to start this Debrief off by addressing the elephant in the room. I haven't posted anything in over a month, and "By Moonlight" came about a month after its predecessor, the conclusion to "Stone-Cold Lovers."

Work, naturally, has been a major factor.

You can see me talk about that almost two weeks ago in this Tumblr post I made about writing in a coffee shop, which came weeks after I actually started writing during a trip to a friend's house.

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Side note:

Just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge my beautiful Haley and Emily keychains. My friend who's responsible for the affairs of one ghostly farmer named Jizzabelle (Gisabelle to the laymen) got them for me! Only appropriate after I commissioned some art of her and Abigail.

Emily was my first Stardew wife, and Haley currently holds the biggest place in my heart. They make a lovely duo!

And I'll avoid any sister-wife jokes

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While I've had some other projects like Zine writing to take care of, work and life can't explain the full absence.

The best way I can think to explain things is that:

I had the general writer's block, and

Despite the best intentions and advice of my irl friends and online pals like @alchemicallymoon and @duelbraids, I couldn't force myself to "break" that block by just... Writing something else.

This is entirely the result of my own psychosis. I have a tendency to carefully plot things out and impose a timetable that really doesn't need to exist. When I feel the cause is righteous enough, it's hard to get around that. In this case, I knew I needed to get my poll-winning idea out after dawdling for holidays like Valentine's Day, and then I knew I only wanted to post one more story before jumping on a very special event for my upcoming 30th AO3 post.

Thus, here we are: arbitrarily forcing myself into a spiral of writer's block misery because of a silly promise on Tumblr and my own sense of ordered chaos.

At the very least, this meant it's coming out not long after my AO3 pal InsertACatchyPennameHere also emerged from the woodwork to tell me they're working on something INSPIRED by my four-person friend group farm adaptations.

Much love to them, wherever they may be.

I'll probably start writing more eclectically now that my shoulders are unweighed, but don't expect my next publication to hit until I'm finished working on teasing the big event. All you Pokemon fans better get hype!

And oh how sweet this publication feels. Between my great set of recent ceramics, the figure drawing class I've been attending, and creative writing, I've felt more fulfilled than ever.

You're here to talk about Stardew, though. So let us talk.

This idea began less with any one event as it did a desire to advance the Alexis/Haley relationship, and Haley's characterization in particular. It was always going to end with watercolor painting reference, but 2 Willow Lane was what I really wanted to dig into.

As I see it, a lot of what keeps people invested in Stardew when its comfy vibes becoming routine is the air of mystery in Eric Barone's worldbuilding. Haley and Emily's parents being some world-traveling duo who left their home in the siblings' care for who knows how long (and who knows how many times over their lifetime) really piqued my interest. So much so that the new writing challenge I set for myself in "How You Get The Girl" was crafting a particularly long set of descriptions that emphasize how overwhelming the parents' influence feels — without creating an impenetrable wall of text.

Hopefully I succeeded in that. Let me know!

I tried to include some vaguely real world-adjacent references into that description of the house, as happens with the magical-realism world of Stardew Valley. For example:

The computer sitting next to their bonsai tree is an iMac G3, the kind of old 'futuristic' tech that my dad loves!

A Speedwell refrigerator is based on even more vintage tech, the Mayflower fridge, but named after a different ship ridden by Pilgrims coming to America.

That city that the family visited in an old photograph with a "monument of arching, interlocking steel" is, of course, Paris — with the statue bookends referencing any number of statues in the Louvre.

Haley's FAD magazine could be referencing any number of publications, but Vogue is probably the closest analogue to what I imagine her reading.

Furthermore, I took some notes on describing the home's layout off of my sister's apartment building, and I asked my bestie @trybard for input on what kind of hanging plant should be used in the transitional hallway. Hanging pothos, philodendron, and spider plants were the three options provided, and my response was appropriate:

They know so much about plants.

Go bug them about it.

I drew on other friends' knowledge to help decorate the house. Specifically, I asked one of my witchiest friends what kinds of protective wards someone like Emily would leave around doorways and windows. She had... A lot of reference material.

I picked Hazel given it purportedly "protects against evil; encourages abundance and inspiration." I also picked Amethyst as one of Emily's loved gifts, one that purportedly "absorbs negative energy, promotes harmony."

My witchy friend is the same one who provided the TikTok that I referenced in my advertisement post:

Perhaps the most important thing about 2 Willow Lane was the recurring motif of Barbie's Dream House.

As a surface-level reference, I think the groundwork is clear. Blondie's love of fashion and general queen bee demeanor fits comparisons to Barbie well, and she lives in a big ol' house full of stuff. We all saw Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie last year. It's still in the cultural zeitgeist.

I'm hip with the kids.

Yet, early on I also tried to make it clear that if this is a "dream" house, it's neither Haley's nor Emily's dream. Haley is a Barbie in that stereotypical sense, but also there's much to be mined from the analogy of a sort of powerless doll in an immutable house, constrained by social obligation to her family rather than literal plastic and stickers.

The cold open of Jodi and Sam was meant to stand alone, but in execution I also think drawing Kent's absence into the conversation makes for a more thematically rich comparison to these sisters who appear to have themselves more put together.

My beta reader said this wound up being one of my stronger stories because of how all of that intertwined, which I appreciated given how down on myself I was following the whole writer's block thing.

But also.

Also.

Alexis gets to be horny. She's hitting on lonely MILFs and watching girls shake their asses to the tune of bad reality TV.

We love a buff dommy mommy farm girl in this house.

Haley is probably horny too, she just doesn't realize it yet. For now I think it's fun enough to play into her being coy about building excuses for Alexis to come over, and then getting incensed when Emily barges in on their private time meant to learn more about this farm girl she just can't get out of her head.

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Fun fact:

Every story in this series is named after a Taylor Swift song, but I know next-to nothing about her discography. All of them are suggestions by my friend whose house I was at when starting this story — the same one who controls Gardenia on the farm.

While I went with "How You Get The Girl," her alternative suggestion was "The Man."

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All that w|w talk aside, I also want to give Sam the loveable idiot a shoutout. Had to do a fair bit of research into how skateboards are constructed for his failed ollie, and I slipped in a reference to shitty old technology that's exclusively for my beta reader to enjoy.

I also tried doing some agricultural research to figure out how the folks at Kevin Farm could have grown cucumbers so there'd be a jar of legitimate pickles... But that was getting too in the weeds.

Insert laugh track here

Decided to just go with pickled artichoke hearts to save everyone a lot of trouble.

And where does "Kevin Farm" come from, you may be asking yourself. Or the fabulous "Kevin's Special" with its definitely not innuendo tagline.