within the first fifteen minutes of talking to him it's already evident that the boy would be of absolutely no use to the investigation. no ties with his father, no knowledge of the war, no interest in the military. no, jhin isn't tainted by any remnants of the hell baekhyun left behind. instead, he's bright. he's bright like the lights that shine times square and american billboards on the sidewalks. so infuriatingly bright.
and charming.
and funny and adorable.
baekhyun's seen more than jhin without a doubt but he hadn't seen a happy bubbly free-spirit since the last time he had looked into a mirror and seen strawberry syrup stains at the edges of his lips too. yes, he also used to be like this, right? every touch of jhin's skin against his own reminds him of what had been and what could have been. and it worries baekhyun only because he knows that neither resentment nor envy would have caused a flutter in his chest.
he notices both the honesty in jhin's voice and the hurt in his eyes whenever it's not returned. jhin still knows him like the inside of his palm, picking up on every lie and slip of a poker face. baekhyun reminds himself of this whenever his phone starts to ring with that stupidly catchy pop song that jhin set as his ringtone. when a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
no, jhin is of no use to the investigation. when the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
why does he still pick up? that's amore
his chest soothes when he hears jhin's voice again. how is this guy energetic at every goddamn hour of the day? jhin's face lights up when he sees baekhyun, and baekhyun hasn't smiled this genuine in a long time. when jhin talks, he's long-winded, but he has a way of making even a library trip sound like an adventure. when jhin sneaks a glance of him, he's subtle as if he's shy. yet when he pulls baekhyun into a hug, he doesn't hesitate for a moment. "it's normal in america!" his loud voice declares, right at the top of the empire state building.
jhin helps him practice english and blend in better.
that's fucking it. jhin helps him practice english and blend in better. baekhyun's pretty damn proud of himself when he finally finds the excuse to feed his conscience. that's why he lets jhin drag him around new york city once again, to wherever the man of the hour chooses. jhin could probably walk him off into a black hole and baekhyun would just as well follow. that's usually what it feels like anyway, when he's out with jhin. a different dimension.
"these are all toothpaste?"
"yes, idiot."
"why do you need so many of them?! are they all different flavours?" he starts picking the disgustingly colourful packages up. more difficult writing and smiling children.
"some are! they're all different brands."
he feels jhin smirking. he can hear jhin smirking. baekhyun shuts up, but only out of fear that south korean stores might also be like this, and not because he cares at all what jhin thinks of him. "i'll beat you up."
jhin laughs now, and baekhyun elbows his side, wishing jhin would elbow him back so baekhyun would have another feeling to focus on than the clenching in his chest. you have a nice laugh comes out as an imitation of jhin's broken korean.
then the next day stop wasting time comes out as a kick to baekhyun's stomach. he falls on his side on the concrete floor, lips pursed to drown the groan. patches of black over his eyelids. dust up his nostrils. "Вставай, товарищ!"
baekhyun stands back up in the face of his own superior's stupidity. no amount of cruelty can train the selfish out of him. it's selfish to want to see jhin, to want to escape his destiny when his own parents couldn't but selfish is how baekhyun knows to survive, and maybe it can free him too.
"have you forgotten?" the voice bellows.
no, i'm only just remembering.
"i can replace you in an instant."
see if you can locate me when i disappear.
"do you want more kids to go through what you did?"
baekhyun freezes in his spot, unable to respond. his pupils shake, his breath catches, and the screams ring in his ears again. no. he feels his superior smirking.
"do your part."
"yes, sir."
"see you soon, officer alexei"
"yes, sir." alexei stands to salute. russian feels more familiar in his mouth than korean and jhin's smile can't change that.
the footsteps slowly fade away and his hand falls to his side. the entire world has changed except for jhin. his tongue, his name, his story. the aching in his chest yearns for jhin's smile to be able to change those too like it will change baekhyun's mind again tomorrow.
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