#au sam

Sam divider by me *for my blog use only!*

“And you make a wonderful mother.” He smiled at you and pressed his lips to yours while one hand rested on your bump.

“Nah, I’m just a surrogate at this point. Mira and junior don’t even look my way anymore.” Sighing, you picked up your water and drank it.

“Y/N, tell me you don’t really believe that?” He asked.

“Sam, we’ve had two kids, working on our third and god knows how many more. They haven’t clung to me like they do you guys.” Mira blew a raspberry, and slapped her hands on Sam’s cheeks, effectively squishing them. “See?”

“Honey, they love you just as much as they do us. You carried them for nine months, you feed them, love them, hold them. They know you’re their mother.”

Mira turned her big y/e/c eyes toward you and squee’d in baby talk, stretching her arms out for you to hold her. You laughed, and being as hormonal as you can be for being five months pregnant, began to tear up.

You couldn’t help kissing all over her face and listening to her squeal and laugh. “You guys have no idea how much I love you.”

Sam turned your face to his and kissed you. Not just a peck, but a deep, full of love, passionate kiss.

“Whoa now, kids around.” Dean joked as he walked over to the table with junior. “Mommy! Did you see how high daddy pushed me!”

You sniffled and laughed, “You bet your butt I did! You were practically soaring through the sky bud!” Junior sat on your lap and drank his soda from McDonald’s.

Dean sat across from y’all, picking Mira from your lap and playing with her. Your heart swelled with love and pride, having two wonderful partners and two wonderful children. It was like nothing bad in the world could touch you, it was just you guys, happy and healthy.

Dean started to say something but when you looked at his mouth, no sound came out.

“What?” Dean repeated what he said but it sounded almost glitched.

“It’s... almost.. time.”

“Time? Time for what?” You looked over at Sam but it was as if Dean hadn’t said anything, he continued to eat his food.

“Guys, what’s going on?” The world started to lose its color, fading to black.

“No, no, no! Sam! Dean!”

It felt as if you were falling and your family was fading out of existence. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark and it reeked of death. Your shoulder ached and your body felt heavy. You looked around. There was no Dean, no Sam, no kids. They were gone.

You tried to struggle but the chains holding you up and the heaviness outweighed your will. You groaned, only just hearing the footsteps getting closer.

“Aw, somebody’s awake. Have a good dream?”

The man you saw when you looked up didn’t look human. His skin was pale, tribal tattoos covered every inch of his body. His eyes started to glow blue.

“Dream?” Your voice cracked from dehydration. You looked around, a needle stuck in your arm as you hung from chains connected to the ceiling. Then the flashes came. The happiness, the love, the pride, the feeling that nothing could go wrong. One big happy family. Tears threatened to overflow.

“It wasn’t real...”

“Oh honey, nothing that perfect could ever be real. Did you really think it was?”

Your face hardened, “You son of a bitch! I’m gonna kill you!” You struggled against the chains to charge forward but it was useless. Along with the dream, your strength was gone. The sight made the djinn laugh.

“Aaahh, I do love when they struggle. But, it’s time for you to sleep again and give me that sweet, sweet blood of yours.” He smiled and his eyes began to glow again, his tattoos seemingly moving down. You felt tired and went to sleep again.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look how high I’m going!”

3 DAYS EARLIER

“Dean, Y/N.” Sam called his brother, “Got a case.”

The case was in Houston Texas, almost a days worth drive. Sam had a theory as to what it was because they had seen their type before. This guy was leaving bodies in the wide open, blue handprints left on their stomachs. An easy giveaway, as Sam called it.

After setting up in the motel, Sam and Dean left you to your own devices while they went and talked to the relatives of one of the deceased. the case seemed like it was gonna be an easy kill and go home but when the brothers returned, they didn’t have any luck. 

Dean sighed and fell to the bed. He smoothed a hand down his face, he seemed quite tired.

“Dean why don't you just get some sleep? You too, Sam. I can do some research for now.” you smiled at both of them.

Sam, who reached into the small fridge on the dresser behind you to grab a water, put his hand to your shoulder. “Thanks, Y/N. That would be appreciated.”

He gulped some water and flopped onto the other bed in the room. Both of the boys were out in minutes. 

After a few hours you found that Djinns tend to live in ruins, usually – the bigger, the better. With that in mind, you looked up places like that and bingo bango, you had your target.

You started to open your mouth to wake up Sam and Dean but with the way Dean was snoring and Sam looking so comfortable under his covers, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. sleep was something they were long over due for. So, you grabbed your gun and knife and headed out, hot wiring a rusty old pickup truck in fear of Dean’s wrath if he saw you took Baby.

The only way to kill one was a silver blade dipped in lambs blood so you had to make a pit stop for that before reaching your destination.

It was pitch black outside, no doubt most people would be asleep. But nope, not you. Had to slice and dice before hitting that pillow oh so nice. You took a deep breath as you stood in front of a half burnt asylum. Best known because a patient who was getting abused here set it aflame. What better ruin to hide in?

“Better now than later, Y/N.” you surmised to yourself. If you could handle this on your own maybe Sam and Dean, the two big doofs would finally look your way. You feel in love with Dean first, the flirty of the two. You met him first on a ghost hunt. He almost stole it but you ended up working together on it. 

The next time you saw him was with his brother, when they needed backup for a case. One you were willing to provide, anything to see Dean again. Then Sam came swooping in making you fall for him too. His intelligence blew you away. The way he cared for those around him and would do anything for anyone who needed it. You’d been stuck to them every since that case.

The Winchester brother got you, hook line and sinker. There was no way around it, your thoughts filled with them. But you couldn’t confess that to them. Why would they even like you like that. At least you thought so.

You quietly stepped into the asylum, checking each room as you went by.

Sam groaned as he turned onto his left side, slowly blinking his eyes awake. He noticed the light of his laptop still on. He sat up, wiping away any sleep left behind.

“Y/N?” he looked over to his right, the bed empty. Then he looked at Dean’s, so was his except his brother. He got up and walked to the bathroom to see if she was in there but the light was off. He started to panic internally. 

Sam raced to the laptop to check what she had looked at. All of Y/N’s research was right there and even where she thought the Djinn was.

“Dean!” Sam grabbed his coat since he had fallen asleep in his shirt and jeans.

His brother jumped, “Huh- wha?”

“Y/N went after the Djinn by herself.” that snapped Dean awake.

“What?!” Sam tossed him his jacket and the keys, Dean slipping his gun in the back of his jeans and both of them rushing out to the impala.

The ride to the asylum was silent with tension in the air. Both brothers were worried of course, Dean angry at himself for not keeping an eye on her. She’d been with them for a while now. She was useful to them, not only that but they both came to care for her.

“She’ll be okay, Dean. She’s tough.” Sam cut through the tension. 

Dean didn’t want to say much, his thoughts going a million miles in his head thinking if she was safe or even alive, so he opted for, “Yeah.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by his brother.

Sam pulled out his phone, bringing up Y/N’s contact. If she was in trouble, they had to get to her fast.

You’d been walking around for a little bit now, but still no sign of the Djinn. Maybe you’d gotten the place wrong? Maybe there was another ruin the monster preferred. But this one was just too perfect to pass up, it had to be this one.

You walked further down a corridor, the walls had soot all over them, parts of it burned down to the dry wall. You turned when you heard something move in the distance. Your eyes narrowed when you saw nothing there. You faced the way you were walking again only to see the Djinn right in front of you, smirking. 

“Well, well, what do we have here.” You reacted immediately and jabbed the knife towards him, but he was quicker. He’d grabbed your wrist and twisted it so you’d drop your weapon. You groaned but that was the only thing you’d give him. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain.

He sniffed up you neck and into your hair, making you flinch away. “You smell... delectable.” With his last word, you saw a faint glow behind you and his hand come up to cover your eyes. After that, you were out.

*

Dean and Sam had just arrived at the location you had saved on Sam’s computer. They both agreed it was definitely the place the Djinn would be. They got their guns and knives ready, putting the knife in their waistbands and keeping their guns glued to in front of them.

They entered the same way you had but one brother went left and the other went right, splitting up to hopefully find you quicker. The hallways smelled old and a scent of burnt wood still lingered in the air. However long it had been since the fire, the reminders of it were still there. 

Dean couldn’t lie, the place had an eerie feel to it. He checked around every corner, in every room, and so far, no sign of you.

Sam did the same, checking carefully, making sure to stay quiet so he could have an advantage. He entered a larger room than the others he had passed. It almost looked like the nave of a church, benches lined up in rows with space in the middle to walk until you hit a few steps to climb. At the center of the steps, you hung from chains.

“Y/N!” Sam whispered trying to get your attention as he quickly made his way to you. You gave no response. You didn’t move at all and that worried Sam. He tapped your face a few times and held it up, whispering your name again. Nothing.

The doors flew open and Sam looked over from you. Dean’s body flew a few feet before he landed with a grunt.

“Dean!” Sam shouted to his brother. Dean grunted, “Heya, Sammy.” sarcastically. The Djinn walked in behind him.

“Is it Thanksgiving because it seems like I’m gonna have a big meal I’m thankful for.” Sam’s jaw clenched and Dean stood up from the ground.

“Get her out of here Sam, I got this.”

*

“Mommy! Mommy! Did you see how high I was going?” Junior shouted as he raced towards you. You smiled brightly, “Yes I did, Bug. Did you have fun?” he jumped up on your lap, nodding and breathing heavily. Dean walked up behind him and leaned down to give you a kiss. It was something you savored. You looked across the table at Sam who had your daughter in his hands, squealing at him as he attacked her face with kisses. But something in your gut told you this was too good to be true. You were kind of having Deja vu.

Then you heard it. Your name was being called. 

“Sam?” you asked. The Sam across from you looked up and frowned.

“What’s the matter?” he questioned.

Again. You’re name. But this time, you definitely knew it didn’t come from him. Something wasn’t right, you felt it. This world, it wasn’t real. Flashes of memory made you realize, you were a hunter. Hunters didn’t get to live like this. They either died from a monster or by the end of a barrel. They didn’t get the white picket fence happiness.

You set Junior down on the ground, slowly getting up.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dean grabbed your arm, his face twisted with concern.

“This isn’t real. None of this is real.” you whispered.

“Not real? Baby, this is as real as it gets.” Dean answered back.

“No. No no no. I have to get out of here.” The despair and sadness you suddenly felt tore your heart to pieces. You wanted so bad for it to be real. To be with the two men you so dearly loved, to have a family with them. But you knew it wasn’t your reality.

You reached into your purse, grabbing the keys and taking off in the impala. Your heart raced, you didn’t really know where you were going. At this point you just wanted it all to end. So, you pushed harder on the gas pedal and crashed into a metal pole.

You gasped awake, heart struggling to clam. The feeling of the crash still lingering. You currently sat in the back of the impala, the familiar rumble helped to sooth you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” You looked up and saw Dean smiling at you behind the wheel.

“What happened? Where’s the Djinn?” you asked. Sam turned so he could face you, a gentle smile crossing his features.

“He’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him.” You nodded and the car fell into a silence. Dean glanced back at you through the rearview mirror and you had a feeling you knew the question he was itching to ask.

“We were married.” you spoke, the boys turning their attention to you.

Sam looked at his brother before clearing his throat, “W-What?”

Tears pricked at your eyes, “We had kids and I was pregnant.” You laughed and sniffled, “We had a white picket fence life. Junior, was Dean and I’s son, Mira was Sam and I’s daughter. We loved each other- I... loved both of you. I still do.”

“Y/N-” Sam was speechless.

“No- I, please, Sam. Just... don’t. I know we can never have that. You and Dean probably wouldn’t even go for that, let alone have feelings for me.” The tears spilled onto your cheeks and once again, the car was silent.

After a minute, the impala slowed and pulled off to the side of the road. You sniffed and looked up, Dean turning around in his seat.

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say what I do and don’t feel because I know what I want. When Sam told me you’d gone off on your own, it scared the hell outta me. I didn’t know if we’d reach you in time or if I’d have to see you dead in some ruin. I know how I feel, Y/N, how we feel.” You followed his gaze to his brother. Sam smiled and nodded.

“We love you too, Y/N.”

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