#attachment work

A: Maybe you're not being avoidant. It's not like you are refusing to feel your feelings. You have acknowledged your disappointment and if you want to shift your focus to the beauty of your life, then you get to do that. The question is this -- does it feel in flow? This is the same practice -- we are not just trying to be in flow in relationship. We are trying to be in flow with our lives and ourselves. Ask yourself -- are you swimming upstream, pointedly ignoring the disappointment that is trying to get your attention? Or can you tell that disappointment 'I feel you. I get you. You're valid. And now I'm going to look and be in a different place. That doesn't mean that you are not important or worthy of being felt. I feel you. I feel you deeply. And I love you. I receive your message. And now I'm going to do another thing. Later, I'm going to come back and check on you and see how you're doing. And if you're still here, I will sit with you again. You are a guest in my house.' Disappointment is a guest in your house. You will bring it tea, you will bring it biscuits, and you will attend it, but you need to go into the world and you need to get resourced because you cannot be a good hostess if you are running on empty. As long as you're not acting out and doing anything funny! But you're going out into the world in order to connect with people, co-regulate, in order to experience joy, in order to vibe and thrive. The ways you go out into the world are healthful, so feel into it! I think it's a good impulse.

hands you a weighted blanket

It's only been a little over two weeks and I've created this whole scenario that is end-all, be-all if we don't see each other now or before the end of the year. It's like I totally forgot that being involved with someone is a journey. That means it doesn't happen overnight. You don't know the answers overnight. You definitely don't know all the answers in two weeks -- I'm reflecting on times I was dating when I was younger. There were highs and lows and ups and downs. I'm wondering if one of the reasons I've lost sight of that is that I've been in relationships with men where, like you said earlier, we burned down the forest to make things happen. And they burned down the forest too in these whirlwind affairs -- we're comfortable there because it's fast and exciting and exhilarating, but in my experience it's always burned out really fast. That is not what this is. That's not what's happening. This is a slow burn.

I'm gonna say uhhh... Uh... The um... *Shuffles through sticky notes* the uh... S word? Sorry, let me figure out if this is my line *Shuffles further through* strawberry shortcake, no way that's my line... Oh dear. I don't think I can say that yet for certain... Hmmm... *Drops the sticky notes* Would you um... Like to say something instead???

tumblr gellohello backspace okay this is the bacyou its ago back a space you see how it works now this way you can go backor you can do this