#ats vent

I know that most of you don’t even care about this, but if I didn’t get this out of my mind, it will forever hunt me.

I worked on an Undertale au for 4 years, I was still at school when I started making the story and the characters, and it was the cringest thing ever, no good character design, no good story building, no nothing.

I was playing around with just the dust of my dreams of being as well known as x-tale creator, I was shoving trama and characters getting hurt everywhere, hoping I would get an interesting story, but I ended up with the most stupid and inconsistent story ever.

I don’t want to get into details, but it was so annoying to try and pull things together by a thin thread.

What I want to say is, like any other artist, when you keep your face so close to your canvas you will mess the bigger picture, sometimes you just need to step away for a while and look at your creation as a whole, then you might see the small mistakes you have made and fix them.

I looked up the meaning of the word gingham and looked at pictures for a long time but nothing sparkle in my mind, usually I get the general idea of what I want to draw the moment I see the word of the day, I had no motivation, no idea of what I want the illustration to look like, and it’s kinda late now for me to record…..

✨Master post✨

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸🍉

As you walk, the path keep getting narrower and narrower, it’s making you feel uneasy, you think that you have seen some people… or things to be more accurate, but you didn’t pay any attention to them, after all, if those whatever they are were important, you would have stopped and looked at them, right?

The more you walk the more you feel your chest getting tighter, it’s hard to breathe in this place, now that you think about it… where are you? What is this place? Why are you here?

Those questions boiled in your head as you found yourself unable to keep walking, you have to run, from what? To where? It doesn’t matter, you just ran.

In front of you, there in the far away distance, you saw a dim light, desperately you tried to reach it, hoping you’d find something there, not thinking much about it, you picked up your speed and ran as much as your legs can.

You reached the light, it was a big door, the light was coming from the small space between the door and the floor, you smiled! It has been a while since you’ve seen a light in this place… how long have you been here?

The door was big and old, it seem to be as old as time, you took the handle in your hand… the door is locked… but … isn’t this the way out of here? Isn’t this supposed to be the happy ending of this nightmare? You tried again and again and again… but no use… the door won’t open, you looked behind you to see if there is anything left… to see that the long hallway has disappeared… nothing is left… even the blurry people or things… are no longer there… you sat on the floor with no more hope within your soul, the door needed a key that you didn’t have… may be if you were a better person… if you payed a little more attention to the blurry people… maybe you would have had the key…

You cried… just cried, there is nothing you can do to open the door… and you can’t go back… seems like a new nightmare has started.

It’s not a bad art day, or an art block, It’s weird, I want to draw, I know what I want to draw, I have the time and the ability to do it, but I just can’t.

I think that I might feel guilty for drawing even though I don’t know why.

I’m not asking for attention or advice from anyone, I’m just venting, and writing is a good way to vent, at least for me.