#atony

Carabao Cup Champs!!!

Erik ten Hag has turned Man United around; coaching at its finest.

word count: 1k+

pairing: stony (+ irondad)

warnings: death, angst, profanity

a/n: stony makes me cry all day everday so here goes. this is an infinity war au where *spoilers!* steve is among the ones who get snapped.

Peter was gone.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.”

Tony landed in the nation of Wakanda, more specifically what was probably the battleground, for it was littered with the rotting bodies of the dead. It reeked of the violence of a war, of spilt blood. The appalling emptiness that replaced what should’ve been the Wakandan army sent chills down his spine. He had to physically control himself from dropping to the ground, a wave of exhaustion washing over him.

Whatever had happened here, had ruined what had, perhaps once, been a beautiful haven of rich culture and technological prosperity.

Miles and miles of devastation and death stretched out before him.

His mind reeled back to the scene on Titan; Strange, Quill and the others vanishing before his eyes one by one. And Peter..

He had made a silent promise to himself that he would never let anything happen to Peter. He had taken the boy in, a fifteen year old who knew barely anything about the world but was one of the smartest and bravest people he knew. A boy who hadn’t even lived a fifth of his life. A boy who could’ve done so much for the world-

Something shook him out of his thoughts. An inkling of something to come. He was startled by the nearing footfalls of someone behind him and turned.

Natasha Romanoff. Dressed in her trademark, black leather suit and hair dyed a contrasting blonde, she came to a stop before him. Her shoulders were tense and yet they sagged, as if she bore the weight of the entire world.

Didn’t they all?

Her jaw was set, stoic but barely like she was trying her hardest to hold herself together. Tony didn’t know if he had the strength to hear what she had to say.

The weight of his loss had only just begun to settle in. It churned his gut and made him throw up a little in his mouth. A frenzy of emotions bubbled inside him- a melange of resentment and sadness and anger.

So much anger.

Every inch of his being was trying to contain himself from tearing his suit into pieces. From burning that tree on his left. He wanted to tear it all apart, to put an end to the turmoil within him.

It was so fucking unfair.

So unfair to him to have finally let go of his fears, to have burned the walls he had built around himself and let that kid in.

So unfair of him to have ever thought about letting Peter in on the team. He had tried to keep him away but he should’ve- he really should’ve known better than to involve a curious kid.

“And if you died, I feel like that’s on me.”

It was on him.

“Please, Mr. Stark. I don’t wanna go.”

It was his fucking fault.

“Tony,” Natasha spoke quietly, jerking him out of his thoughts.

Her shoulders slumped even more. The sun was setting low behind her, painting the sky a scarlet red.

“They’re gone,” she mumbled, voice cracking and for the first time ever, Tony saw her break.

His worst fears had come true. Peter was gone, so were Quill, Strange and and the rest of the gang. Thanos’ plan became as clear as day and he feared- trembled at the thought of what had happened to the rest of the team. Or at least, what he used to call his team.

What had happened to Bruce? Thor? Clint?

Steve?

His heart clenched as Steve’s face flashed in his memory, an ache he was forced to relive everyday.

What if- No.

He waited for her to elaborate, but she beckoned him towards the Tower that loomed about half a mile behind her. Tony ambled to her side.

“Bucky, Wanda,” she said hoarsely. Only when he was up close did Tony notice that her eyes were red-rimmed. His chest tightened.

“Vision too and T’challa and-d,” she faltered, glancing up at Tony. He tried to read her eyes but deep within his being he already knew who it was. He pushed the treacherous thought away but the dread that settled in his stomach was too heavy to ignore. He could feel his breathing quicken in that split second, his heart begin to hammer against his chest.

“and ..Steve,” she finished, a ghost of a tear shimmering at the corner of her eyes. “Steve’s gone.”

Tony would’ve moved the ends of the Earth to never hear those words tumble out of her mouth.

His gut twisted and coiled on itself, the world around him going dark. The vision that Wanda had made him see- a battered and broken Steve sprawled dead on the ground, his blue eyes now cold and grey- came thundering into his mind again. The dusty, broken shield lay underneath ruins beside his freezing body.

Endless darkness and emptiness surrounded them. He drew in a ragged breath, trying to blink the vision out of his eyes.

“Tony?!” he heard the distant cry of Natasha, as he clutched at his heart.

Steve was gone.

Bile rose up in his throat.

He should’ve called him. He had a moment to decide back at the sanctum and he’d fucked it up.

Just like everything else.

The contact number now burned white inside his eyelids, and God, he wished he had hit dial.

He wished he could’ve had a chance to make it up to him, to mend his mistakes-to let Steve know that he forgive him.

“We all need a family. The Avengers are yours, more so than mine.”

He had read his letter every darned night of every dying day, committing the words to memory.

“So no matter what, I promise you, if you need us-if you need me, I’ll be there.”

I need you now, Steve.

The accords and lies and mistrust and miscommunication had ruined their relationship for the world and yet, after Tony’s anger died away.. he still trusted Steve. He trusted him and forgave him.

Steven Grant Rogers. Captain America but so much more. A ray of hope, the righteous man.

Everything that was now their past seemed so stupid, so unnecessary compared to this cord of numbing reality Tony found himself being strangled with.

“Tony?” Natasha called, shaking his left shoulder and his eyes jolted open.

“Yeah,” he managed, breath still shaking as he steadied himself. He had fallen to the ground, knees hitting the soft grass beneath him.  

“I’m fine,” he gritted out when she moved to help him stand up. His vision was still blurry, and his chest hurt.

“We don’t know where Thanos is. We don’t know what to do,” she said, her voice still raspy.

But Tony wasn’t listening.

Peter was gone.

So was Steve.

Two people who had meant so much to him- one he had sworn to protect, and one he considered his greatest friend and so much more.  

He had failed both of them.

The world seemed to crumble around him and he-

he was being crushed underneath it all.

What did he have left?  

What more could he lose?

Nothing.

A vast expanse of emptiness swallowed him whole from within as the weight of it came crashing down on him all at once.

His heart seemed to collapse on itself- a supernova exploding into a sinking black hole.

Something wet slid down his cheeks. A silent scream of his shuddering heart.

Steve was gone.

And he could do nothing.

Nothing at all.

a/n 2: please consider leaving feedback! it would mean a lot to me :)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12234057/chapters/30720411

“Where’s Stark?!”

The Avengers were out on a mission, taking on a small but well equipped criminal organisation, calling themselves, 'The Reclaimers', that was dealing in black market alien tech.  No one had heard from Tony in a few minutes and Steve was trying to ignore the growing sense of worry he was feeling and focus on the job in hand.

Then Tony's voice came out of the comms system in their ears and Steve felt a rush of relief.

“I’m bringing you another party.” Tony suddenly appeared from around a building with a group of men riding miniaturised tanks on his tail.

“We need to have a talk about your understanding of the word, “party!” Natasha called out over the sounds of gunfire and yelling.

“I’ll bring balloons next time.” He swooped upwards as he reached the other Avengers and they were ready to take on the group he'd tricked into the ambush.

In the flurry of arrows, bullets, Hulk knocking out assailants and Cap throwing his shield, one of the miniaturised tanks slipped around them in the chaos.

After several intense minutes of fighting the Reclaimers had either retreated or lay unconscious on the ground around The Avengers. As Steve was about to ask were Stark was again, they heard the sound of an explosion behind them and all spun around to see flames and smoke emanating from where Tony had last flown to.  Steve's feet started moving before his brain had registered to move, putting his shield up to protect himself he ran into the flames.

"Cap!" Clint called out as one of the Reclaimers groggily sat up and Natasha restrained him with cuffs.

"I've got Stark, you take care of them!"  

Making his way through the smoke Steve squinted, looking across the rubble of what had once been an abandoned building. Then he saw something red and shiny right ahead of him.  “Oh, God. Tony! " He ran over and knelt next to him, taking him in his arms and pulling off his mask. Tony's eyes were closed but he was still breathing and once again, Steve's body started moving before he even thought to move. It was instinctive. He emerged from the smoke moments later carrying Tony over his shoulder.

"Is he....?" Natasha almost whispered as she, Clint and Hulk ran up to him.

"He's alive but he needs a doctor. Now."

As SHIELD agents arrived to clean up the area, taking the remaining, living Reclaimers into custody, they all hurried into the ship, Clint piloting as Natasha used the new technique that she and Bruce were developing to help him calm and turn back from the Hulk to himself again.

She looked over at Steve, standing over a motionless Tony laid out on the table

                                                                                                                                                 *********

"We were outnumbered! The mission briefing obviously didn't have all the intel!"

"We gave you all the intel we had on this!"

Steve and Nick Fury were arguing outside the treatment room at Avengers Tower where Dr Cho and her team were working on Tony.

"Well, it wasn't enough! What about Stark?! If he doesn't pull through..... " Steve trailed off, his expression a mixture of anger and worry.

“Is there something I should know, Captain?”

“Are you implying something, Director?”

Attempting to dissipate the growing tension, Natasha spoke up.

“Steve’s just worried like we all are. You wanted us to become a team, wanted us to put our lives on the line together. Well, this is what happens.” She gestured around the corridor to a pensive Clint who was busying himself polishing an arrow that was already pristine and Bruce who was looking hopefully at the door to the treatment room every few seconds.

Fury sighed. “I have to make some calls. I'll be back to see how he is," He said, and stalked off down the hallway.

Steve sighed heavily. “Thanks…. for stepping in.”

“Fury can be a little rough around the edges but his heart is in the right place. He wants The Avengers to work.”

Steve nodded, pausing before asking the question he already knew the answer to.  “You know, don’t you?”

“About you and Tony? Yes.”

He sighed again, not sure what to say next.  “We didn’t plan it…it just…”

“Happened?”

Steve nodded slowly.

“I get that, these things tend to creep up on you …unexpectedly,” she said softly, resisting the urge her eyes had to dart over and glance at Bruce as she spoke. “ I’m not judging. For any reason.”

He nodded again, returning her soft smile. “Does anyone else know?”

Natasha was used to lying, she’d literally been trained in the intricacies of deception since she was a child, but she realised, gladly, that this time she didn’t have to. Thanks to Clint’s amusing inability to see what was right in front of him.

“Nope, just me.”

Fury suddenly reappeared, a flicker of something Steve thought could’ve been relief flashed briefly across his face.

“Apparently, our boy just woke up.”

Steve took what felt like his first breath since he'd  found Tony in the rubble, and tried not to smile any more than the others as they all filed into the treatment room. Tony was sat up in bed, grinning as if nothing has happened and he hadn't been on the wrong end of a miniaturised tank explosion just a couple of hours earlier. But Steve knew differently, he could see unease in Tony's eyes.

“So, I hear I got saved by Captain America?”

"Well Bruce saved you last time so I guess it was my turn," Steve said with a wry smile.

"Actually that was 'the other guy' so technically I still get a turn too."

"Hey, I do not need saving! I'm Iron Man not a damsel in distress."

" 'Damsels' don't usually need saving, Tony, I thought Cap was supposed to be the one with a nineteen forties mindset."

"I'm not sure if that was a compliment," Steve said with another wry smile and a shrug, 'But I'll take it."

The conversation descended into Clint,  Bruce and Steve comparing how many Iron Men/Tony Stark’s they could carry through flames, while Natasha rolled her eyes, before Dr Cho ushered them all out, saying she wanted to keep Tony for observation overnight just in case he had a concussion.

A few minutes later, Steve returned, slipping in through the door unseen and Tony's face lit up.

“I was hoping you’d come back.”

Steve planted a soft kiss to his lips.

"What if Doctor Cho gets suspicious, seeing you here when she comes to check on me?" ” Tony whispered, kissing him back and revelling in the sensation of Steve's mouth on his own again.

"We can’t really hide this forever." Steve kissed him once more before taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. "Natsaha already worked it out."

"Ah....well, I shouldn’t be surprised, she’s literally a super spy. Fooled me when we first met and I just thought she was my hot new employee. "

Steve raised his eyebrows. “You and Romanov? Why am I only hearing about this now?”

Tony didn’t even try and suppress his smirk. “Is Captain America jealous?"

"If you think that, you must really have a concussion."

Tony just grinned in response, deciding that was a, "Yes".  “So..you’re ok with it if people…if the team…finds out about us?’

Steve was quiet for a moment and then said, “I nearly lost you today. Honestly, I’m just relieved that you’re asking me how I’ll feel when everyone finds out we’re together instead of me staring an empty bed wondering how I’m going to live the next seventy years of my life without you.”

Tony didn’t say anything, he wasn't sure how to respond. But he smiled. The kind of smile that felt fresh on his face, like a new day dawning. The kind he hadn't he hadn't felt in a long time.  Steve noticed it too, he moved in his chair to get more comfortable, smiling back at Tony, knowing that he wasn't just seeing the man beneath the amour now. But the man beneath the mask as well.

"You look like you're getting comfy for the night there, Captain"

"Is that a problem Mr Stark?"

"No, I'm just concerned about those old bones of yours."  Tony smirked playfully and turned in the bed so he was facing Steve.

"Well, thank you for your concern, but you do realise that technically you're older than I am?"

"Well...technically.....I suppose....." Tony said with mock exasperation. "Oh God, there's probably Stony fanfiction where I'm your sugar daddy isn't there?"

They both burst out laughing. "Alright that's too much to process right now, it's been a long day and I'm still afraid to Google that, 'mpreg,' thing you mentioned the other day."

"Yeah, I may have thrown you in at the deep end with that one, Tony said with a yawn. "Seriously though, You don't have to stay.go get some sleep."

"How about I just stay till you fall asleep?"

This was quite the match and well played on both sides. Although Rashford did not score (leaving us to miss his iconic celebration), Man United played very well, and I was glad we could see other players come into the spotlight. Their resilience in the second half proved that this win was earned in the purest form. This team is filled with lots of promise as they hold the 3 spot in the premier league.

As for Barcelona, I can safely say we missed the presence of Pedri and Gavi, but I was not upset with how they played. Overlooking the fact that they could not score an equalizer, they played to the best they could have, mistakes were made, but that is just the game. The substitutions: Torres, Fati, and Alonso did not upset me as much as it did when Raphinha was taken off the last Europa League match. Despite popular opinion, I look forward to seeing more of Torres and understanding the build-up Xavi has for him.

Some matches are just poor because they have to be.

Also, Happy Birthday Atony!!

Liverpool pulls an absolutely stunning 7-0 win over Man United today!

Phenomenal job, this is the Liverpool we all know and love!

To outsiders, I'm atiny.

To any member of ateez, I'm ot8.

To myself, I'm a fucking mess how the fuck does ANYONE stay loyal to one bias or wrecker how do I DO THIS what does it even MEAN to have a bias what do I base it on am I biasing wrong is my bias compelling enough to count as my bias why do i have to pick a bias why am i even here whats going ON.

Weekly Discoveries #4 - new music for your lofi playlists. Stay Safe and get some rest.

There are so many artists, labels, releases, and many events (nowadays apparently mostly online) within this beautiful genre that one can get really overwhelmed and lose the overview in the mass of possible options. In this weekly series on the blog I want to highlight four to five releases, news, events, mixes, or anything else interesting happening in the lo-fi community for you to dive…