General Highlights:

Everyone Wet Pretty Gnnngghghgh Okay, so. Young friends. Before this episode, stills were released. Everyone’s soaking wet. We don’t know why. Forget the episodes themselves, I have still never recovered from that. 

By Walk I Mean Run: The banter is so good in “The Storm.” It’s setting up this vibe where there’s a parallel episode when John, Rodney, Elizabeth, and the two marines hang out and play cards for ten hours while the storm rages and nobody gets killed or taken hostage and they have a good time. I want that for them. I mean, for me I want them to suffer in really attractive ways, but they could all use a rain day from work.

Nice Job Special FX Team: It’s been 15 years and the water effects still hold up pretty well! 

Even Nicer Job Practical FX Team: How did they not have to cancel filming for a month while everyone recovered from pneumonia??

John Sheppard’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day: 

Maybe I Should Do The Negotiating From Now On: You know, if Sheppard and Ford hadn’t threatened Smeeden, would he have even contacted the Genii? I mean, probably, but I’m sure it didn’t help.

KOLYAAAAAAA

I Am Going To Kill You: The little pause he takes, blinking in the rain, after he finds out that she’s dead before he takes a breath and heads into the fray -- MY HEART.

John Sheppard Is Very Good At His Job: Can we just appreciate that he essentially singlehandedly saves the city? This pilot knows how to fight on the ground and I am IMPRESSED.

Let Me Talk To Her: Everything changes on a dime here and I love it I LOVE IT. He runs straight from here into an ambush because suddenly there’s a chance to save her and he knows what it’s like to have failed to save her and like I’m not even pretending this is About The Romance because he has had zero seconds to think about this but you’d better bet that he never sees her the same way again after this. 

I’m Not Aiming At Her: I’m honestly surprised he didn’t shoot Kolya in the head, but then I was distracted because he grabs her haaaaaaaaand. 

I Can’t Give Everyone Their Own List So:

I Take It Back They’re No Longer My NoTP: Rodney and Elizabeth are great together throughout this and I’ve been really appreciating them during the rewatch. I don’t think it’s sexual, but he loves her. Her amused affection for him from day one is repaid here in spades -- not only does he step in front of a gun for her, but he’s got his arm around her while they’re in the rain waiting out the ten minutes until Kolya’s probably going to kill her, and it’s so sweet, in case anyone’s out there wondering, I might OT3 this now.

How’s This For Credibility: The actor whose name I’m not bothering to look up does a Really Good Job with this character. I like the little pauses he takes in key moments and we can see the decision being made -- specifically, when he decides to tell Sheppard that Weir is dead, and you know I love the moment when he decides to let Sheppard talk to her because Sheppard just blinked and Kolya’s found a weakness he can exploit. The character himself belongs as the lead a Shakespearean tragedy, because he’s literally won and then he sees the opportunity for greater power and seals his own doom. It’s all set up at the beginning when you can see him chafing against Cowan’s orders. GENII POLITICS I LOVE IT.

THEN END IT: So a big difference for me watching this now over fifteen years ago is that I’ve since lost a parent, and Sora’s reaction in “Underground” and her actions here have this real grief undercurrent that slays me. She fails to avenge her father and Teyla won’t kill her and UGH. I FEEL IT. WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T WE GET MORE SORA I’M STILL MAD ABOUT THIS.

Shut Up, Doctor Beckett: I love this man, don’t get me wrong, and it’s certainly not Ford’s finest hour, but sweet holy mother of pearl is Carson ever annoying in “The Eye.” When Sora knocks him out, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Teyla Emmagan Can Do No Wrong: That’s just the theme for Atlantis, honestly. 

There Can Never Be Enough Fanfic About This Episode:

i still love Caldwell and at this point Elizabeth just needs to Give Him A Break OK. i love that they play chess in the first scene and i like that he’s really offering her support in that “you’re close, aren’t you” scene because he knows she’s The Leader and can’t just turn to anyone, and it’s fascinating to me that she remains so suspicious of him. 

let’s be real it’s entirely about sheppard, because caldwell clearly respects elizabeth’s role in the expedition, but he thinks sheppard is unprepared for his job (and he’s not like, 100% wrong in this) and so elizabeth goes into hissing cat mode if caldwell even thinks about looking at sheppard the wrong way because She Will Protect Him.

also i really like Caldwell’s new look. the sweater is a good change for him.

do i.... have a thing for colonel skinner........ because it’s kind of starting to sound like i do

back to SPARKWATCH 2k19

“it’s just protocol” “that’s your answer for EVERYTHING” like this pent-up frustration John has about this could be about a lot of things but i choose to think it’s because protocol’s the reason she’d never consider a relationship with him -- and either he already tried and they had a Conversation about it, or more it never even went that far because he knows she’d shoot him down and he doesn’t want to keep thinking about her and wanting things he can’t have but he’s definitely spent some nights running over the argument they’d inevitably have if he tried it and anyway, john sheppard has some bones to pick with elizabeth’s allegiance to how things are supposed to be done

but honestly john’s wrong to think that elizabeth will shoot him down because of protocol because that’s not really what it is, this episode shows that she cares a lot about appearances -- and i don’t mean she cares about whether or not she comes off looking good, i mean she cares about the narrative that’s formed by how things appear. caldwell fixing john’s rookie mistakes isn’t an issue, it’s that his making changes implies that john isn’t coming back. she walks into john’s room unarmed because if she goes in there with an armed escort, it sends john a message that he’s too far gone because he’s no longer the john sheppard she trusts. my favorite image in all of this is him walking into the gate room wearing that cloak so people can’t stare at him and she’s walking beside him. i could go on about this for YEARS.

seriously she just. is so convinced he will be unable to hurt her if she walks into his quarters unarmed when his genes have mutated. 

on another note man what the fuck poor walker and stevens nobody even went back to look for them lorne heard one scream on the radio and tossed a grenade in there

and also in my last non-recap i was like “omg chuck is canadian but military!?” when like. half the security dudes have german flags on their arms. never mind.

Highlights:

“You realize I originally sent you out for food!?” 

I do love the duplicitous Genii. Chief Miles Edward O’Brien has moved up in the world.

“...but it’s not a competition!” It’s distressing that Bates keeps showing up in my highlights section when he’s such an inveterate douchenozzle but while Team Sheppard was off on their weekly fuck-up he successfully bought food at the store and John is salty about it.

Ford is SO HAPPY whenever he’s blowing things up.

Sweet bloody waifs, is the human pantry of the Wraith ship ever a spooky shop of horrors on the big screen.

When Elizabeth walked on screen in that tank top it was so unexpected my brain shorted out for a second. 

Lowlights:

“I’m not hitting on your daughter.” Just say It’s nice to meet you and don’t stare and we can avoid these situations.

“I thought you were man enough.” Unless this is a follow-up from a deleted scene where the guys are broing down, this is the most awkward line Teyla has had so far. 

Sheppard goes from “whatever we don’t need food let’s find weapons” in the teaser to “we’re about to start rationing so you’re wrong and i’m right” as soon as Elizabeth calls him out for giving away explosives, hmmmm.

This episode has way more highlights than lowlights, it is a Good Episode.

Oh Shit I Never Realized:

Teyla tells the Genii the story of the Wraith waking framed as a thing that happened trying to rescue her, and I wonder how much she feels complicit in it, and how much that influenced her desire to step away from leading her people to joining with Sheppard & company, and basically, Teyla’s motivations have a lot of layers and I’m yet to unpack them all and I’m gonna keep worrying away at it until I figure it out.

But the more races we meet from this galaxy the more passive the Athosians seem by comparison and maybe that’s why she broke with them: she’s been a fighter in a culture of survival and acceptance and make-the-best of and Sheppard & co showed her another option. 

Biggest Missed Opportunity:

The episode should have been EXACTLY the same except the Genii don’t change outfits. I want peasant skirts and bonnets in the nuclear bunker. 

Key Take-Aways, Same As Always:

Maaaaaan did they ever fuck the fuck out of this galaxy

and themselves

SparkWatch 2k19:

The “You Did What!?” scenes in this are top fucking notch. 

when she tells kavanaugh you think i’m kidding? like... she is definitely not kidding.

5 Highlights From “Suspicion”:

Elizabeth And Teyla Are Friends: balcony bonding over how leadership is hard and everything is terrible. They need to have tea twice a week. It’s not the intention, but most of that time will be spent making fun of Sheppard. 

McKay, Brave Little Toaster: his immediate and persistent demand that they go back for Teyla and Ford makes me SO HAPPY.

“Thing is, Bates was right.” YES. Bates would be doing his job very well if he weren’t a relentless xenophobic jackass.

If we weren’t sure before, now we are definitely sure that John Sheppard set off the Wraith destruction of the galaxy (by accident). Twice.

Teyla is amazing and heartbreaking and if you terrorize her people for generations she will fuck you up with a broomstick my friends. 

I need a sixth one to point out LIEUTENANT FORD being a puppy and bringing Sheppard a sandwich I adore him so much I miss him already.

5 Lowlights From “Suspicion”:

There is literally not one good reason to put Teyla in a wig inspired by the Midge barbie doll I had in the late 80s. Not One Reason.

Yes, Sergeant Bates is horrible, but more horrible is the fact that Weir doesn’t shut him down after it’s clear he can’t hold himself in check enough to let her have actual conversations with Halling and whoever came after. 

For that matter, not only should Weir have met with Teyla first, Teyla should be in those meetings because otherwise it’s literally a closed room with random Athosian civilians facing down the leader of the base, Bates, and some rando writing down every word they say. This is not a good look, Elizabeth. 

ACK IT POSTED BEFORE I WAS DONE BECAUSE I HIT A BUTTON AND IT THREW ME OFF SO I GUESS I’M DONE WITH LOWLIGHTS

BATES! NEEDS! TO SHUT UP!!

Final Thoughts:

Teyla is way, way more amazing than fandom gave her credit for. Don’t let the inexplicable shiny top distract you she’s got some Shakespearean-level tragic character setup here

I LIKE THIS EPISODE IT’S ~COMPLEX~

Wait it’s Sparktober I Need To Address This:

~COMMAND TENSION~

Highlights:

Prime Directive Elizabeth is my favorite Elizabeth!! Respect! Alien! Cultures!!

“I’m not a quiet person. I’m a talking person.” The little kids guarding McKay are so cute and must be at least 25 by now, so enjoy that reminder of the relentless passage of time.

McKay re: the planetary shield: “This device must be using an old version of Windows.” I feel bad for anyone needing subtitles because the subtitles get all the salient points but only like 40% of the actual dialogue, and it’s golden.

Literally an entire planet of very serious children living in treehouses I LOVE THEM. This episode reminds me of how seriously I took my job as the Bossy Eldest Child in our little generation of cult babies commune kids (I was 9) and I ran a tight ship with very clear rules like you had to be 6 years old before you were allowed to play on the 5th story roof because under 6 would just be reckless. 

I can’t not think of Season One Elizabeth as Lizzie and Lizzie’s freckles are so cute on the big screen that is the biggest conclusion of my rewatch so far. 

Lowlights:

Look. Look. I’m not saying these Earth humans shouldn’t be allowed to go around screwing up every alien culture they meet, but just. Just imagine an alternate universe for a moment where Teyla, the lone reasonable member of Team Sheppard, is in charge and no one says “eh let’s risk it” and dismantles the technology guarding literal children from literal space vampires. GOD.

This isn’t nearly as bad as SG-1′s “Brief Candle” where SG-1 gleefully takes a planet of people who have lived 100-day lives for thousands of generations and “fixes it” so they will live 70+ years like the rest of us and then peaces out like YOU’RE WELCOME!!! but uhhhh, I feel like there should be some follow-up here.

The Sparktober Of It All:

It happens off-camera here and in so many other episodes, but I imagine that Team Sheppard’s off-world mission debriefs are casually known among the control room staff as the “You Did What!?” meetings.

Final Thoughts: