Aug 1, 2013
You're all groaning, but my pun work is really the best I have to offer.
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You're all groaning, but my pun work is really the best I have to offer.
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"Water, water everywhere/ Nor any drop to drink."
Has everybody gotten Sharknado out of their systems? Good cause that shit was, and still is annoying. If your base of operations is in Boston yet you have people come out for interviews in Braintree, you should pay for train, bus, and cab fare. Or at least buy me a fucking sandwich from Subway or something. For reals yo! A friend's birthday is coming up and my question is, what does one get the man who still plays Pokemon? The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. The boy with the unibrow and a joint resting behind his ear has more swag than me which just proves that the world is indeed laughing at me. Hi Mushy!!!!! I fear that the man who gave up his seat for me is reading this, so guy, if you're reading this, "this isn't Pulitzer Prize material so look elsewhere." Has your female cabbie ever offer you a bottle of water and told you that you were beautiful? No? Well mines did and that was, by far the most pleasant cab ride I've ever had. Knowing my luck my next cabbie will be a male cabbie who's old enough to be my step-father and tell me I remind him of a girl he knows in Africa. Won't be the first time. [Insert rimshot. Then sad trombone.]
I hope everybody has a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend. I knew about Benedict Cumberbatch WAY before Star Trek and Sherlock which, in play school terms makes him mine. ALL MINE! Some men call women beautiful. Men call me "kiddo". Or "shorty". No need to cry for me, I do that best by myself. I've lost five pounds these past couple of weeks but seeing as how my weight has fluctuated this past year I find it hard to get excited about it. Hi Mushy!!! I'm on a quest for a red wig I need for a sketch I'm doing for tomorrow's show; it's not needed but if I do find one perhaps I'll model it for y'all. Later gators.
"Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it."
I'll be 28 years young tomorrow. Okay. I guess.
I'm having the hardest time staying awake right now.Â
Last night's show was fun and I got lots of hugs and free beer and pizza a cigar for my pre-birthday. A cigar you guys!!!
I'm making a personal goal to myself to lose 10 pounds by this time next month.Â
It makes me feel good when people come up to me or smile at me after a show. It reaffirms that I have the ability to make people laugh; that I have some talent.Â
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain.Â
I can't stand to have my blood drawn when I have a doctor's appointment but my need and desire to to give blood and blood platelets to those in need outweighs that fear.Â
How can one have so much hate and contempt towards practically everyone they meet, or not meet within themselves? If someone has the answer for this, please let me know.
I feel too much. It's both a blessing and a curse. Trust me.
I'll never be one of those people who takes twitter too seriously. Should I though?Â
I'm in love with another person's cat and I don't care. Hi Mushy!!!!!!!
Why yes, I'm single at the moment; why do you ask?