I've Cracked How To Pronounce the Planet Beginning With 'U'
Let's look at the two usual suspects:
- Ur-ANUS (Obviously bad. Schoolchildren and immature adults have been dogging on this since the name was codified. Main reason I am making this post.)
-Yurin-us (Often used as the safe alternative, claimed by some to be the true pronunciation. HOWEVER, there is one crucial problem many miss. It substitutes saying anus when spoken aloud to saying urine. Not much better, is it? I THINK NOT.)
And it is with these known facts, sharks, that I present my elegant solution, written using IPA standard:
(or the 'ur' in 'fur' , the ever-present schwa (uh) in "nuh-uh", a classic n as a child may say it while learning the alphabet and the 'ose' in 'dose'.)
I am proud to say that this may be my masterwork. No longer will kindergarten and first grade teachers be tormented by a built-in invitation to toilet humor, no longer will this interesting galactic phenomena be pigeonholed into simply being a punchline with no setup! For I, on this, the grandest of days, have slain this linguistic leviathan and forged a new safer, better path. I have done my duty* to this world and have ensured my chapter in the oh-so-heavy tome of human history! The echoes of my name shall reverberate through hallowed halls ad infinitum. You, my dear subjects, are so very welcome.
*Also, chance the pronunciation of "duty" to "dutty" as to avoid any comparisons to feces, thank you.