Iâm not at all surprised by my disappointment in this clumsily executed product reveal, which to my knowledge, doesnât even include a video of any kind.
I am however, unexpectedly amused that they would go this far in riding the coat tails of the long-dead Alphasmart product lineage to conceive a new machine for a captive, special interest audience they have already proved they are vividly aware of, and yet, for all that effort, not only continue to alienate that audience, but deny themselves and their business most that the benefits that even attempting an âAlphasmart successorâ device could potentially bring them.
Astrohaus accomplishes this, of course, by continuing their enforced fetishization of 20th Century typewriters, as though typewriters were used in the previous century because writers in that age harbored an ideological hostility toward the concept of editing, rather than simply wanting the most efficient mechanical means of writing that the technology of the era would allow for.
If Astrohaus is happy selling ten thousand machines to the Judy Funnies of the world who want a high-end statement piece to signal their affinity with 20th Century writers, rather than selling hundreds of thousands of machines to disabled students desperate to function normally in classrooms and express themselves, and to writers who care more about utility and freedom than having their creative processes dictated to them by a boutique manufacturer of luxury goods, then perhaps theyâll get the returns they are hoping for.
Iâm further amused that one of the aspects of the Alphasmart devices Astrohaus decided was important to copy was the lack of a backlit screen.
Back when Astrohaus was attempting to dunk on the continued use of aging Alphasmart devices, and woo Alphasmart users over to the Freewrite by saying something in their copy to the general effect of, âLetâs upgrade you to a proper writing tool.â, at least Astrohaus could boast that their device had a lit screen while the Alphasmart Neo 2 didnât.
Iâd love to know where between the $350 MSRP of the Alpha and the $650 asking price of the standard issue Freewrite does a writer deserve to have a lit screen, but it certainly isnât at the $500 price point of the Freewrite Traveler.
Nintendoâs Game Boy Advance SP, a childrenâs toy from twenty years ago, had a backlit screen. It launched at $100 USD ($161 at 2022 currency rates), was considered low end tech even for the time, and was generally used to keep preteen brats quiet in the back seat during trips to the supermarket.
Meanwhile, not only do Astrohausâs Alpha, at $350, but also the Freewrite Traveler at $500, lack backlit screens, but both of these machines are positioned as high-end, sophisticated creative tools for language artists willing to pay above and beyond to have a Grade A experience for word processing functionality â functionality that is bundled as default with even the most primitive modern device that any writer in the developed world would have needed access to in order to browse and make purchases from the Astrohaus website to begin with.
Writers arenât outbidding each other to get increasingly old, increasingly expensive, and increasingly coveted decades-old Alphasmart devices, and then doing extensive refurbishment and modification projects on them, in order to remove the arrow keys so they can write while being âfreedâ from the odious distraction of an easily movable cursor.
Writers are refurbishing and modifying their Alphasmarts in order to add screen lights to them.
For Astrohaus to design a product as a successor to the Alphasmart, and decide to carry forward the old Alphasmartâs lack of a backlight, but remove the Alphasmartâs inclusion of arrow keys, which have been standard on nearly every modern keyboard produced in the last thirty-five years, (other than those designed by Astrohaus) is not merely throwing out the baby and keeping the old bathwater â itâs keeping the old bathwater, bottling it for sale as a luxury item, and then burning down the perfectly intact house the bathwater originated from, with the baby still inside.
Of course, it could be the case that the Alpha by Astrohaus does have a lit screen after all, which would call into question their copy writing ability, and as an extension, their authority to not only produce writing devices, but to dictate to writers what their writing process is supposed to be, in which editing is either explicitly disallowed, or made deliberately as cumbersome as possible in order to discourage it.
Iâm fascinated if the rumors that members of the company behind the original Alphasmart devices were consulted, contacted, or hired by Astrohaus in relation to the development of the Alpha are true, and that if they are true, to what extent they were actually listened to â as Iâm quite certain if the design philosophy behind the original Alphasmart product line resembled that of Astrohaus, those devices would not have had the success that they did enjoy for a while before they sadly fizzled out.
Many months ago I listened to some bigwig from Astrohaus whoâs name I donât recall being interviewed on a podcast. At one point he said something to the immediate effect of wanting the Freewrite to become a declaration piece that writers would use to signal to peers and clients that they are serious about their craft.
On the other hand, on the online writing community which seems more dedicated than any other that Iâm aware of to discussing and displaying purpose-made electronic writing and word processing equipment - which in many cases happens to be rare and expensive - Astrohaus and the Freewrite device family has been the butt of jokes for years, and it seems to be more of a mark of distinction to see how far someone is willing to go to use any possible solution other than a Freewrite, even if itâs literally hacked together with crudely assembled spare parts in someoneâs garage.
Itâs sad for Astrohaus that the King Jim Pomera DM 100, an out-of-production device more than a decade old, that was created in Japan, and designed chiefly to perform word processing in a language that I can not speak or read, seems set to continue to serve me better as an English-literate written word artist for years to come, than a newly announced machine designed in my own home town of New York City, that hasnât even hit the market yet.
Thereâs no way I could be this emotionally involved with this unfolding story without being sure that my paid 1$ pre-order for the Alpha was secured without delay or hesitation.
For me, the $250 pre-shipping is worth the utility of being able to say that I put my own money on the line to give a device in the Freewrite family a fair and extensive trial, and can speak from hundreds of hours of experience in using it. I say this because as much as I vocally criticize and challenge Astrohaus, I have been conscious of the fact Iâve spent years tearing this firm apart without having laid hands on one of their products.
Perhaps writing is believing â my dollar is on the table, with 249 more to follow it, but if the product rollout is as smoothly executed as the botched hype for the reveal of the Alphaâs product page, this may be a long and rocky waiting period.
Though to Astrohausâs credit, they have actually consistently delivered on past electronics hardware projects geared to niche hobbyist markets, even if delayed; which in a world of Coleco Chameleons, Polymegas, and Intellivision Amicos, is more of a unique and distinctive statement than plopping one of Astrohausâs deliberately crippled contraptions on the table of a coffee house ever could ever be.
The best part of todayâs announcement to me is the fact that Astrohaus either had the restraint not to use the legacy Alphasmart branding for this device (only for the teaser site URL for whatever reason), or felt it as beneath them to actually do so, in spite of the obvious intent to mimic Alphasmart in as many ways as possible, all while maintaining that unique Astrohaus pretentious gimmick charm.
(FYI, I wrote every word this on a NEO 2, LOL.)
Product photo by Astrohaus.
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