The following is a transcript of a call made between Dmitri Johannes Petrov, the warden of the Wall, and Reginald Copperbottom, the Toppat Leader. It was recorded to officiate the Wall as a new enemy of the Toppat Clan and to justify any and all attacks against them. The Right Hand Man has threatened anyone who releases the date and time of this call with death via leader-sanctioned execution.
Reginald Copperbottom: Hello? Please state your identity and reason for calling.
Dmitri Petrov: Hello, Toppat. I am Dmitri Petrov, calling regarding a prisoner we have recently become aware that you have. Does the name Henry Stickmin ring a bell?
Reginald: Uhm… yes, it does. Also, don’t call me Toppat, you sound like a jerk. Call me sir.
Dmitri: … Right, sir. Well, I have an interest in him. How much money would it take for you to hand him over to me?
Reginald: As tempting as it is to make an offer, Henry’s worth to me is far more personal.
Dmitri: Oh, please, how ‘personal’ can a prisoner’s worth be?
Reginald: My good man, you underestimate the power of loathing…
Dmitri: Fine then, I will say this; Hand over Henry Stickmin directly to the Wall, or I will rip him and every last Toppat from your stupid airship by force.
Reginald: Stupid?! This airship has so far been the greatest advancement in our clan’s technology since the chaingun! As for Henry, you will have to pry him from my cold, dead fingers personally! And I have very serious doubts that you’ll even make it to me.
Dmitri: You are cocky and vain, Toppat. I do not like people like you.
Reginald: Hm, you must have serious self-image issues, then.
*Reginald can be heard laughing from his end, while a loud slam can be heard from Dmitri’s*
Dmitri: I will give you a final warning! Hand over the prisoner, or I will take him myself!
Reginald: Go on, try. Tell me how that works out for you~
*The call ends abruptly, cutting off an enraged yell from Dmitri*
This is what I imagine they each have to say right after the call:
D: “THAT FUCKER! THAT INSOLENT FUGITIVE! NO ONE DENIES ME PRISONERS, MUCH LESS IDIOT THIEVES! IF IT IS WAR HE WANTS, IT IS WAR HE SHALL HAVE!”
R: “Ha! I’ve never heard such an insecure man with such a god complex. Ah, well. Right Hand Man, make preparations in case that little bastard actually tries something."
