Richter had put this off for far too long, and he knew it. There had been so many opportunities for him to tell Aster everything he held back during their reunion, yet something inside prevented him from doing so; not wanting to again shatter that look of pure happiness on his friend’s face, as he so did when he revealed that Aster had long died back on Aselia. To hurt him more than he already had.. Richter could barely stomach the thought, but the more time they spent together, the harder it was becoming for the half-elf to feel as though he was worthy of his friend’s time.
His presence back in Richter’s life was a blessing; something that completely changed each and every one of his goals, turning him back into a shred of the man he used to be. He would forever be grateful that his one and only wish was granted, even if he had to be taken from his home to see Aster again-- none of it mattered to Richter. All that did was that they were here, they were alive, they were together.
.. but he couldn’t push that nagging thought away, that perhaps after this, Aster would want nothing to do with him. As much as the mere notion threatened to shatter his heart, Richter knew he could not live in his fears for the remainder of their days here. He needed to make most of the time that they had, and if it resulted in the other pushing him away.. so long as he was alive, Richter didn’t care. He could live with it, for Aster’s sake.
Though.. he needed to give the boy the opportunity to make that decision for himself.
“.. Aster,” he spoke the other’s name suddenly, his voice leaving him quietly, cautiously. Though Richter had been particularly tense for most of their evening, he seized the chance to finally speak up during a lull in their previous conversation; the setting sun peaking through the curtains of his apartment lighting the hardened features on his face. He straightened his shoulders, forcing himself to meet the boy’s eyes-- though as soon as he had, he could feel his heartbeat beginning to quicken painfully in his chest.
“I realize this is abrupt, but there are a few things you and I must discuss. I’ve been meaning to bring them up for quite some time.. and now, I hope you will allow me a moment to do so,” of course, Richter knew that Aster would always give him the time of day, no matter what the situation pertained.. but the half-elf was still afraid of what the outcome would be, even if he told himself that it didn’t matter. “I have kept certain aspects of my life from you-- what I did after I lost you, the decisions I made that carried my resolve over the last two years.. though I wish to tell you everything, I must first ask you to be honest with me before I do.”
He pulled out a folded note from his jacket pocket and revealed it to Aster-- one that had a particular name written on it in a long forgotten language.
“How long have you been meeting with Emil?”
– ☼☽; ( @fallenconstellation )
