#assbat

Shane Madej (to Ryan Bergara): that bat was straight-up going for your ass. it was an assbat!

Catherine: *Looks around in disdain* I thought places like this only existed in hell.

Tisley: *Rolls eyes* Better get used to it then for future reasons.

Patrick: *Breaks into fit of laughter* You asked for that one Cath. Being a snob gets you no where.

Catherine: So does being an ass bat!

Tisley:

Patrick:

Nia:

[pm] The button is the camera. It’s okay. I wish you had told me before you left, though. What did Batman say?

[pm] You're not mad? At all? Oh my god Wait what? Oh duddddde it is the button.... can I touch it? I'm sorry! Sorry! I'll tell you next time! Promise super secret handshake promise handbook oath!

... He snuck up on me and I changed my voice changer to talk like him and then he started talking to me and then he grappled to another roof and I followed and he... He wasn't very nice. He mentioned my parents not liking me sneaking out and I maybe sorta lied to him about that because I didn't know if he knew and I'm really sorry I didn't tell the- I mean... I'm sorry.

 And then he said he didn't like me- I dunno what IU did to him but I think he probably meant cause I'm so young and then I told him he didn't have to like me and I almost told him to shove it but I didn't... And then he said... Um... He said something like he acknowledges my bravery and something like I was doing this without thinking on the consequences. I told him he was wrong and he said there weren't any mistakes. Only... Only failures.  and asked me if I  was going to defeat Two Face and put him in Arkham without your help. And then I asked him what kind of dumb question is that.

Misfit had spent her day with Mia upon Babs' request. The two had fun- drinking soda and eating food and watching Frozen and High School Musical and a whole bunch of other cheesy movies. But now, Charlie was going to do something that Babs didn't exactly tell her no to. She didn't exactly say yes either. Well she couldn't have said yes or no because Charlie didn't ask. It was a quick Patrol. Just around the Fashion District. Maybe she was just checking that Two Face wasn't showing either of his ugly faces anywhere near Dinah's apartment. Either way she had had all of her equipment on her. Her vest, protective shorts, staff, elephant laser, comm, the works. Her gloves hands gripped the staff as she leapt off the roof top of a building and onto a lower one. As her feet hit the ground, she lost her balance and nearly fell off that roof- "Shit shit shit shit shit" - luckily she bounced towards the middle of it, grinning slightly at the slight trace of pink smoke left behind. She always wondered why it did that when she teleported. "What a perfect night," she looked up to the taller building she'd leapt off of. "For Daaaaark Vengeance!" She did a spiny move with her staff and laughed, her voice changer making the sound of it sound weird to her ears. She checked the time- she should head back soon.

  Batman said, "You should be careful. Rooftops don't come with safety nets."

  Misfit almost dropped her staff, and she whirled on her heels, eyes going wide. Was this... Charlie's eyes went bug eyes behind her mask and her jaw dropped to the floor. "Um. What?" She asked, stupidly. "You're Batman." Another dumb thing to say. "Oh oh I won't fall because I can bounce- er teleport that's what I call bouncing and oh my god I-" Misfit shifted, putting her staff over her shoulder as she stared at him. And idea came to mind as she stopped mid-sentence. Her hand went to her belt, and she switched her voice changer setting. "I'm Misfit, Batman." Her voice now was deep and scary like his. She began to laugh- the laughter sounding ridiculous coming out of her mouth with that voice setting.

  Batman frowned behind the mask, slightly taken aback by how… unrestrained Misfit was. Was Oracle recruiting children now? Had she turned into hi— He stepped back, as out of place as a moving gargoyle on the roof, and took in the sight of her. She matched the descriptions he'd unearthed of Misfit, putting together an estimation of the places she'd been sighted. He hadn't been confident that it would pay off, that Oracle would have warned this… child. But she had trusted him. Trust was all too easy to give these days. His interest was in the pink smoke, in the weapons she carried. Was she trained to use them? How far had Oracle gone? But that wasn't what he asked. She seemed absurdly young. "I'm sure," he said, "that I don't sound like that."

  Misfit grinned at him, her head tilting to the side slightly. This was weird. She didn't realize that Batman'd be patrolling the Fashion District too. Did Babs sic him on her because she was out here when she wasn't supposed to be? "I think," she said, still in her Batman voice, "You do," she had switched her changer back to where she had set it before- lower than her real voice but at least she sounded like a woman. "Ummmm so, am I in trouble," she asked, her eyebrows furrowing behind her mask. "I mean you're totally awesome and all but... There aren't any bad guys here- if there were if totally deliver Daaaaaaaaark Vengeance to their faces!"

  The moment of truth. One quick, small, white lie would solve Batman's dilemma. He could say Oracle had sent him. Or else he could play to her side, be the hero who gave her a free pass in his city, while he covertly continued to monitor her every move. Both seemed like short-term gain tactics. He needed strategy. He could see her fiddle with her belt, the voice modulation gadget being significantly advanced technology. "You're not in trouble," he said, taking the third option and hoping it'd stick. "I'm disappointed, however, that you didn't introduce yourself earlier."

Misfit stared at him, and reached to run a hand through her hair- ah. Damn ponytail. Well, she reminded herself, at least she didn't have to worry about it going everywhere and it was much more efficient.... Even if she did like her hair. She frowned and shifted in her sparkly high tops, and stared at him. Introduce herself to him? Well sure, she tried to be Batgirl once and she was gonna meet him, but then she became Misfit in September... "Introduce myself?" Charlie asked, "Oooooooooh right right right. This is your city and stuff but to be fair you only just got back ya know?" her habit of talking extremely quickly was kicking in. "Like I started waaaaaaaay back in September and you weren't there and I totally would've bounced over and said hey ya how you doing but you know I really don't think that would've ended well for me because I get yelled at by superheroes sometimes because I look really really really really reeeeeeeeallly young, ya know? One time Nightwing yelled at me- hey that was in September too wasn't it. Yeah that was a while ago- but yeah I have a feeling that you would've like yelled or been like all Batman-y and stuff and plus like I said before you kinda were taking a break or weren't here or something right? Sooooooo yeah."

 So Nightwing had known she was this young. She admitted it herself. Batman didn't think it was an appropriate time to reflect on the terrible fractures in his family. She started in September, she was young, she tended to avoid other heroes, she was enthusiastic, she didn't hide her skills, and she had the self-preservation instincts of a gnat. This would not end well. "I don't have to go 'Batman' on you." On Oracle and Nightwing perhaps, for doing this under his nose. For taking this girl—this metahuman—this girl and enabling her enthusiasm for a lifestyle she should have been kept far away from. Had they learnt nothing from the way their lives went or had they learnt all the wrong things? Had he done this, started an unbreakable cycle? "I'd have thought your parents might if they discovered you sneaking out."

Misfit stared at him. Batman didn't seem to be a guy of many words, did he? But he was like, her idol. She was doing her best to contain her excitement of seeing him and she was trying to keep her talking on the down low but.... It didn't work. "Welllllllll they don't-- actually they're okay with it," she informed him, nodding. That was a lie. She just lied to Batman. Fuck. Well that sucked. Oh well he did not need to know about that. She put a grin back on her face. "I dunno from what I've heard I hear you Batman a lotta people."

Batman said simply, "You're not telling the truth. No one's parents would be okay with something like this."

Misfit liked to think she was a good liar. Well, no she didn't. She knew she was a good liar. That was why the fire had gone without anyone knowing for so long. That was why people didn't know she had never had a father and that her mom and brother were alive and how she definitely wasn't living in the Thomas Wayne Youth Shelter for 9 months and well... Or well, those who have read her blog and saw that she was staying with Dinah Lance probably thought something was up, but no one had confronted her about it since Cass. She told the truth then. Misfit frowned at him and glanced away. "They're bad at catching me sneak out, then," Charlie relented, with a sigh. It really wasn't hard to sneak out when you had teleporting powers. Batman’s expression didn't change, but his mien grew darker nonetheless. Parents who didn't notice their child disappearing—teleporting​in puffs of pink smoke—were only rivalled by children who took advantage of it. He couldn't blame her. He knew Damian did as much, despite vigilance. He didn't like the idea of her getting herself in too deep when she didn't know the risks. No, he reminded himself, she didn't. No matter what she'd learnt from Oracle or what she'd surmised by virtue of not being stupid. Dick had thought he'd known the risks, so had Jason and Tim and Stephanie and Cassandra, and year after year, each child he'd dragged into his war. Damian had been the risk. Information didn't mean she knew what she had gotten into. He needed to end it. And then he would remind Oracle exactly why Batman should have never had a Robin in the first place. He aimed the grappling gun, shooting a line clear across the sky to the next rooftop. He knew she would teleport to follow. He needed to see for himself how it worked.

Misfit looked on as he fired the grapple gun in the air. Her eyebrows furrowed. Was she supposed to follow him? He didn't even say anything. Glancing down at the comm on her belt, she bounced to the roof top where he was going, getting there before him and having him meet her there. Charlie had a feeling that the 'you're not in trouble' thing was wearing off. Her hand on her utility belt, she waited for Batman to join her, the pink smoke dispersing from the air. "Why'd we move?" She blurted, staring at him. "I kinda liked the view from that building but I guess this one is better.... Are you sure I'm not in trouble?"

Batman regarded her from behind the cowl, tipping back his head just slightly to swallow a sigh. She was making this difficult. She was making this difficult by virtue of existing. "You're not in trouble," he told her evenly. She wasn't, at any rate. He and Oracle would be having words. "I don't like you, but it's not my civic duty to pick you off the street and put you back home." He wouldn't make her into another Tim. As they talked, he kept an eye on the street below, intent on scanning the lit darkness for shadows. Misfit was extremely important, but not his priority. "You teleported ahead of me," he said. "You didn't take me with you. That's an interesting choice."

Misfit’s expression immediately fell into an unhappy one. He didn't like her. Charlie's heart sank as she stared at him. "You don't like me," she repeated. One of her heroes didn't like her. He was doing the same thing so many others had done to her. Too young too inexperienced.... Oh no... She backed from him, a harder look setting in her eyes. "You don't have to like me," Misfit said, "Because I'm not going to stop. You can drag me home-" to Dinah. "Kicking and screaming. And I won't stop. Ever," Charlie's arms crossed over her chest and she looked back towards the roof top she had bounced from, and she looked back at Batman. "Bouncing doesn't work like that- no living things. No plants, animals, or humans. Even if it did, you'd already shot your grapple thingy over here so it wouldn't have made sense to take you too."

Batman watched her demeanor change, her spine harden, and the bubbliness vanish. Someone different would know what to do to put her at ease, but he wasn't it. Just as well, then. He had known fear and the imposition of it all his life. What would he do with ease? "No," he agreed, "I don't have to like you. But I have a responsibility, one bigger than things you like to do." Too many self-styled 'heroes' and the city would lose faith in the real police, while growing cynical about 'vigilante culture'. Too many children in the streets even in Misfit's sense of the term and there'd be armies of underage soldiers. Gotham would crumble, and he'd be the symbol that started it all. "I—" admire "—acknowledge your bravery, Misfit, but what you do is pander to an illusion. That everyone with need for justice has what it takes to do what you're doing, and there are no consequences for it." You're too young to ever be shown the real meaning of 'consequence'. He filed away for later her explanation about teleportation, but he had a more important point to press. "Two-Face is out for you." He had to fight the reflex to call him Harvey. Not in front of her. "Can you defeat him and bring him to Arkham on your own, without Oracle's help?" He wasn't going to tell a child that the consequences she spawned went beyond something that could kill her. It was part of an endemic that could destroy Gotham.

Oh he was not lecturing her about consequence. Misfit stared at him, she arms moving to hug herself as her stare turned into a glare. "Don't start," she snapped, "About consequence with me, Batman. Don't!" In her head, she could hear the laughter of the Joker and Alana's scream as she got electrocuted. Her mother and baby brother crying. The silence after she accidentally killed someone. And then the noise. Misfit paused for a moment and she shook her head. "Don't argue that I don't know what consequence is- if you're here to lecture me about... Past mistakes, I don't need to hear it." Charlie was being testier with him than she should have been. Her hero didn't like her. The man she looked up to for so long.... First Nightwing and now this? God she wanted to cry. But she wouldn't. When he mentioned Two Face, Charlie glanced down to the street. "I know he's after me," she replied dryly. "Apparently taking a bullet for people he's trying to kill is bad." What did he mean about Oracle's help? What? That didn't even make sense. "What? What do you mean- can I- what kind of stupid question is that?!"

"I'm not interested in lecturing you," he said. Was he looking at another Cassandra Cain? Batman didn't want to go near that one, but personal comfort was irrelevant. Especially when Harvey was endangering children. "But what you do goes beyond you and whatever you think your mistakes are." This culture of carrying the world on their shoulders like underage Atlases needed to end. "There's no such thing as a mistake. There's only failure. And there's learning from it to ensure it never happens again. It's harsh, it's hard, but it's the truth. You seem intelligent enough to have grasped the concept." Too young to have assimilated it or else she wouldn't still be doing this. But not naïve enough to not get upset over whatever had happened to her. "What you do—being Misfit—is that supposed to be punishment or atonement?"