“i have to get going, honey. i’ll be back soon.”

you flop over, scowling at him over the blanket that comes up to your nose. “don’t goooo, stay w’meeee.”

as if to solidify your point, you squeeze his hand tighter, refusing to let him go. he gives you a soft tug but you don’t budge. 

“i want to, you know i do,” he promises. “but i’ve got some errands to run. places to be, you know? so you stay cozy in bed, and i’ll be back before you know it.”

“you always say that and then disappear,” you huff, lip pushing out in a pout. “can’t you stay? just this once?”

he can’t help the soft, almost bittersweet smile that overtakes him. “i wish i could, it’s hard to say ‘no’ to those babydoll eyes,” he admits with a shrug, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“so don’t,” you insist with a pouty huff, balling your fingers in the smooth fabric of his shirt to keep him against you. he’s pliant under your hands. “stay. or take me with you, even! you always say you’ll let me come and you never do.”

he laughs softly at that. “how can i take you with me when i can’t even convince you to get out of bed?”

there’s a teasing lilt to his voice, but no bite behind his words. 

“shut up!” you huff again, letting go of his hand as you burrow into the covers to escape his mischievous violet gaze. “fine, go then. doesn’t matter to me.”

asra hums, sinking back onto the bed to perch at your side. gentle fingers ghost over your face, pushing your messy hair back as he coos at you. “don’t be mad. i’ll be back soon, and i’ll make it up to you. i’ll even bring you back a little treat.”

you narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, but you don’t reject his touch. “you promise?”

“i promise,” he murmurs through a fond smile. he leans down for one last kiss before he’s breezing out the door, leaving you with just the scent of lavender, his cheeky smile, and the remnants of his warmth against you. but he’ll be back soon, you think as you settle back in to sleep a little longer. he’s never broken a promise before, after all. 

I’m surprised Asra hasn’t been making every question and excuse to venture outdoors, you mused. We’ve been in here almost all day. As if on cue, the curly-haired man walked into the main area of the shop with lively purple eyes on you. “The man looked particularly happy after the reading,” you commented with a smile. “He had every right to be.” Asra walked up to the counter. “He’s been working hard these past years and one…specific desire of his may be manifesting sooner than he realized.” “That’s great.” “It is.” His expression turned thoughtful. You leaned against the counter, hoping he’d say more. Hoping he wouldn’t look outdoors and deem it time for him to travel solo again. Exploring the physical plane of existence with his stylish feathered hat. He shouldn’t leave again so soon, you reassured yourself. The shop should be just as busy tomorrow with people coming in at the docks. You could run the shop fine when he was out, but…you missed him. Your closest companion, roommate, and your Master of magic. He taught you everything you knew. So much patience and kindness that you would be forever grateful for. Still silent, Asra took multiple glances at you. Apprehensive, but backed with something you could not place. “You’ve worked harder than most.” He stated. “Thank you,” you replied even if you felt his statement wasn’t fully true. There were plenty of people working throughout Vesuvia. Why mention your work? “Your talent with magic is great. You’ve done amazing things.” You tilted your head, confused. “I’m just an apprentice.” “No,” he urged with passion in his eyes. “You’re more, so much more, than that. For years, many, you’ve put others first to help them.” You shook your head, “No…I…I just started.” What is he saying? I’m still learning. “Please remember,” Asra leaned across the counter. Remember what? An ache thumped behind your eyes. “What?” You massaged your eyelid gently. “Your life.” You trusted Asra full-heartedly. So you tried. Anything. Searching for even a single glimpse of a memory prior to being with Asra and Faust at the shop. A sound? No. You squinted your eyes from the lights. The ache streaked across either side of your head. Remember something. You pushed and strained. “Ah.” A migraine erupted and you felt yourself falling. Or were you just moving your head? You couldn’t form a single thought. All you felt was pain and then nothing.

. . .

Blinking slowly, you took in the cozy familiarity of home. The living area behind the colorful shop. You rubbed the back of your neck as another hand helped you sit more comfortably in a chair. You could not recall walking in there. Did I doze off? You wondered as Asra knelt beside you with bloodshot eyes. You rose a hand to his cheek. “Are you alright?” “I’m so sorry.” Asra nearly choked on his words. “For what?” Asra looked distraught. Yet you couldn’t remember or recall why because thinking — no — remembering something — no — searching for a truth hurt. Through teary eyes, he smiled. “Everything’s alright now.” He took your hand in his. “Were you telling me something?” “You’ve worked enough today.” He brought your other hand to him as well. Sadness and something else in his purple eyes. You wanted to hold him. To make the low emotions go away. It always appeared like he was holding himself back. More than ever you wanted to know why. But he won’t tell me. Purple eyes studied you as he made sure you were alright. “I think we’ve both worked enough today. There’s always tomorrow for more readings and shiny goods.” “But… I feel fine. I must’ve fell asleep because it was so quiet. I won’t do it again.” “Falling asleep early sounds pretty good now,” he pondered out loud. “I’ll close up.” Asra stood and Faust slid down from underneath his scarf to settle across your shoulders to share warmth. Another comfort. “I’ll make us dinner and we can go to bed early.” Asra announced as some brightness returned to his eyes. A yawn escaped you at the thought of many throw pillows. Asra smiled fondly. So genuine and caring. I’ll do better tomorrow, you thought with determination. I’ll show how much I’ve learned from him as his apprentice. How much I remember . . .

~~~

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

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Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: @cubedtriangle The Arcana Game Tags: @

The tongues the old you spoke, the clothes you wore, and the habits were all gone— leaving you scrambling for some sort of identity so the old face of yours would be recognizable. Asra had tried to give you the memories back, but it overwhelmed you to a painful degree. Ultimately, you would be left with less than you started with. Luckily, you were clever enough to put together the pieces of your life just by the look in his eyes. 

One evening, when you had suggested a walk along the Vesuvia beaches, his eyes were bright with optimism. The sight made your heart feel as though it was floating, nearly like a high of love and ecstasy. It was why you continued to chase your old self through the mazes of his mind and the glints in his purple eyes. 

The beaches were not as beautiful as they used to be. Asra had told you this as he helped you climb down from one of the many rocks that went down to the shore. He described how the sand used to be golden with the water a clear, almost turquoise, blue before Lucio ruined them. The sand, though it was nearly night, looked darker than it should have been, and the water grey. It was like life had been sucked from it. Yet, there was still a beauty to it. The moonlight reflected off the water in glittering waves and the sand felt soft beneath your sandals. The silence there allowed for the sound of birds and bugs to be heard. 

“Did you like to come here often, before the plague?” You asked with a laugh as you attempted to skip a rock on the water. When the rock hit the water twice before sinking, you made a disappointed grunt as you turned to look at Asra. 

His expression gave away his emotions. Asra seemed almost like he was in pain. His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were shining with shameful disappointment. You had seen the look so many times, but this time it was different. It was the last drop in an already overflowing bucket of disappointing, almost shameful, stares. The high you had been riding on suddenly vanished, leaving you falling into a pit of despair. 

You asked cooly, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

Asra opened his mouth, though no words came out, and you could only squeeze your eyes shut to keep the tears from your eyes. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he pulled you close. The smell of lavender oil and incense filled your senses. Your fingers dug into Asra’s shirt, pulling him closer so his scent might bring about that high you wanted again. 

Asra whispered your name as his hands traced lines up and down your spine. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I know I recall so little— More so, nothing at all. You must hate me for it, at least a little,” You mumbled into the nape of his neck. "Since I know you would not look at me as such if you did not hate me."

Asra shook his head, “No! How could you say such things? It is not what you do not remember that makes me act so, it is what I remember. The things I have done…” His body began to shake as he began to weep.

You shushed him, moving to press your forehead against his. “Think nothing of it. We are here now.”

Asra pressed a kiss to your lips, then another and another. He would have taken you there on the beach, under the moonlight and with the sounds of the waves in the background, if you would have allowed him.

“I must confess,” You said with a smile. “I can recall but one thing.”

Asra’s eyes glittered like the waves in the moonlight. “What is that, my love?”

"oh!" asra startles slightly. "y/n. you're supposed to be asleep."

"it's hard to sleep without you..." you whine. "it gets cold at night."

asra chuckles. "well, you're in luck. i've just brought us home some goodies from nevivion."

you scowl. "you went to nevivion without me?"

"i know, i know, i'm sorry!" asra raises his hands innocently. "but truly, you should blame ilya."

"oh, should i." you ask dryly.

"yes. definitely. he was the one who dragged me there, after all. got me all caught up in his silly pirate gang politics."

"pirate gang politics."

they nod earnestly, taking you into their arms. "i know i sound like i'm making excuses, but he really did need my help, dove. i'm sorry. you know i would never leave you alone on purpose. i promise to take you with me next time."

you sigh and squeeze him back. "...fine. you're forgiven."

you nuzzle into their shoulder. god, you missed them. you snuggle as close as they'll let you get, which is pretty damn close. they laugh softly, fondness dripping and oozing from their voice.

"aww..." he kisses your forehead. he pats your back. "thank you, sweets. c'mon, dove. come check out what i brought home."

you nod. they pull a fur hat out of a linen bag, one with ear flaps and a strap, and put it on to model for you. truthfully, it looks a bit silly on them, their fluffy hair straining against the hat and poofing out the bottom every which way. you crack a smile.

Cozette wasn’t sure what to expect from the masquerade. A grand affair held by the beloved count, or so she was led to believe. Her aunt insisted she dress in her fanciest, so she wore her favorite. A blue dress that flared past her knees in ocean-like waves. Though, when she approached the gates she realized one important detail.

Her mask. 

How could she have missed that detail in all of the excitement? 

She must stick out like a sore thumb. 

With a gasp she spotted someone selling masks, beautifully carved and painted ones at that. Of course, paired with a familiar face. She hadn’t gotten his name last time they met, or the last few times they met. But the fluffy white hair was difficult to mistake. 

“It’s you, right?” She beamed. In the sea of people, she hadn’t been lucky enough to see another friendly face. “The boy from the market?”

“It’s you again, I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.” His violet eyes meet hers and his demeanor shifts. “I didn’t catch your name.”

A playful smile plays on his lips and she can feel the magic radiating off of him. Back when he’d saved her in the marketplace, she felt it then, too. It was rare for her to sense magic on people, no, she seldom knew anyone else who practiced it. 

And it felt so different from hers, too.

“I didn’t throw it,” Cozette quips with a big grin. “You never told me yours either.”

“Fair enough,” He pressed his cheek into the palm of his hand. “If I give you a mask, could I get your name, then?”

“If I can just get yours.” 

“Greedy.”His fingers ghosts over some of the mask faces, not quite sure about any of them for her. “My name is Asra, I meant to tell you back at the market but I didn’t think we would meet again."

“Neither did I, definitely not on the same day, anyway.” Cozette’s eyes trail over the different masks. There were so many of them. Plenty of colors, shapes, sizes. She wasn’t sure how she would ever pick one. “I’m Cozette.”

Among the masks there were plenty of animals, she noticed. One that resembles cat ears, dog ears, bunny ears. Even one with the beak of a bird, those seemed to be the most popular seeing as that was the last one. 

“I like this one,” she plucks one that had shakier lines but probably the most vivid colors out of the bunch. “Did you make these yourself?” 

“That obvious, hm?” There was a teasing glint in his eyes. “The one you’re holding was my first one I made this year.”

“Well it’s my favorite, I love the colors.” She brings the mask to hover over her face. “What do you think? It suits me, right?”

“Oh absolutely, if I squint the paint almost looks even.”

“So what do I owe you?” She reaches for her coins when Asra’s hand invades her line of sight. 

“I wouldn’t feel right charging you,” His cheeks were dusted with a faint blush. That, or, Cozette was seeing things. “You would be doing me a favor by taking it, truly.”

“Well, jokes on you, this is a steal!” 

“Whatever you say.”

Cozette fixes the mask onto her face and turns to Asra. “What about you, though?”

“What about me?”

“You’re not wearing a mask? Weren’t you planning on enjoying the masquerade?”

“Oh no, I mainly came here to sell the masks, I didn’t have any intention on–”

“Why not? Isn’t this a once a year thing?” _ “You’ve already gone to the trouble of coming, you may as well dance.” 

“I don’t know about all of that,” Asra averted his eyes away from hers. He seemed almost shy, but not entirely unconvinced. “Besides, I still have a few left to sell.”

Cozette grins and picks one of the masks up and lifts it midair. Then another. She doesn’t stop until her lands land on a gold and lilac one. With a genuine smile she pushes it into his hands. “This would be one less to sell.”

“Just one dance and I’ll leave you alone, promise.” She holds out her hand nervously. Her palm was clammy with sweat and her face too warm even with the breeze caressing her skin. 

“Just one dance?” Asra looked between the girl before him, then the mask. With her smiling at him, moonlight kissing her skin and such a genuine invitation, his plans of holding the shop felt of little consequence. Most people had already filtered inside, anyhow. They wouldn’t miss him for an hour. 

“All right, but I’ll warn you,” He lifts the mask over his eyes and adjusts it so it doesn’t slide off. “I’m not the best dancer.”

“Really? Cozette grabs his hand with a slight tug eagerly. She looked back and offers a quizzical look. “I never would have expected that.” 

Asra chuckles and lets her lead him deeper in the palace, more than willing to follow where she goes.  He hardly knew this woman but he thought he would go follow her anywhere. There was just something about her. 

Nobody has made him feel this way, well, ever. 

Agreeing to dance with her? What was he thinking? 

For the first time in a while, he hadn’t been. 

He’s not the type so be impulsive. And yet here he was, hands joined with hers in the ballroom. His hands felt warm in hers and he didn’t want to let go. So he didn’t. 

Most of the night was a blur of honeyed words and all Cozette thinks she would always remember how Asra smiled at her no matter how many times she missed an important step. Or however many times she stepped on his feet. 

Hell, she was a terrible dancer. 

And he said he wasn’t a good dancer. 

His magic mingled with hers and that experience was far better than any combination of steps on the ballroom floor. It was like a buzz, a high.

After the thrill of the night wore away and Cozette grew tired of flouncing and twirling she turned to Asra. Her eyes met his seriousness reflected in the boundlessness of her amber eyes. Asra’s laughter softly died down at the sight. 

“Is something on your mind?”

“It’s just,”  Cozette looked at Asra and found herself nervous. Saying what was on her mind would make it just so and didn’t dare. Will I see you after tonight? Will you slip away? I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever, let alone in the span of a night, do you feel it too? 

“Tonight was wonderful,” she says instead. “I never want it to end.”

“Neither do I,” Asra leans his body closer to hers and squeezes her hand. There were a million things unsaid in that gesture, maybe one day Asra would’ve wished he said just one of them. Instead they remained in each other’s company. That was enough.

One hour more turned into another, then another.

Then they were watching the sunrise together just outside of the palace, masks forgotten beside them in the grass. 

This was definitely a masquerade to remember. 

Nightmares :

• (Before meeting MC) His nightmares followed similar themes. Some of these included the glimpses of his childhood , with his parents and suddenly they are leaving. His childhood home crumbling to floor. Him getting in trouble while playing on docks . Sometimes it included Muriel - his new friend. The visions of Muriel , too, disappearing some day or being disappointed in him in some way were a great burden for him. Some others included him not getting any food for a whole day or two ( but were they really nightmares if this was his reality?) and people being mean to him.

• His ways of comforting himself during such times were very limited. He would wake up with a jolt and startle Faust too. They both would later cuddle and squeeze together. To prevent getting bullied , he would act all mean in front of bullies and protect Muriel from them too. To avoid starvation, he would resort to petty stealing via magic. He would visit his 'gate' on especially rough nights seeking comfort from his patron arcana the Magician. He would use magic to create pretty scenarios to calm himself down .Muriel started to comfort him too once he found out about his nightmares.

• (After meeting MC) He started to visit the magic shop the day after his nightmares . MC's aunt was a kind lady . Being in her presence would remind Asra of home and comfort him in an odd way. But he liked it. Once he was good friends with MC , he would randomly crash into their bedroom for comfort and cuddles. He was loved in the magic shop. But to avoid getting attached to them , he would often go on 'trips' , only to return after being haunted by nightmares making him crave for a place to call a 'home'. His nightmares significantly decreased after getting close to MC.

• (Plague Era) In the initial stages of the spread of plague , he would often get nightmares about his friends catching the plague. Mc did a great job in reassuring him initially but as the situation in vesuvia worsened so did his nightmares. He could not be reassured. Which then led to 'the argument' that caused him and MC to separate.

• (After MC's death) After he got to know about MC's demise (and after his short trip (?) to lazaret ), his nightmares would now involve those tall chimneys he saw on the island. In his nightmares, he would wander around the crematory and would hear MC's voice calling him . He would always wake up in cold sweat after such nightmares and cry himself to sleep again .

• (Post U.E. route) After the fight against devil was won , he had MC with him now. Now no matter what nightmares he would experience , he would always wake up to comfort full of love from his love. Now the nightmares were manageable and even if some of them truly terrified him , he knew he could tackle anything and anyone. He could go against the world if required now that he had MC supporting him.

Daydreams :

• (Before meeting MC) Asra is a very creative person. At such a young age his daydreams would involve a safe place , lavish meals , running around with friends. He would also daydream about his parents returning someday and taking him with them. He would often try to create these 'daydream scenarios' play out in front of him via magic. This also helped him get better at magic.

• Once Muriel and him secured a safe place in the woods , he would ask Muriel to join him while he was playing out such scenarios. Muriel would often decline , but on the rare occasions he would join Asra , he would find himself entranced in asra's daydreams. Afterall he has a very creative imagination.

• (After meeting MC) after meeting MC in his stall at one of the bazaars of lucio's annual masquerade ball, his daydreams started to include more of MC as he got to know them more. Scenarios of them practicing magic together, taking classes from MC's aunt together, going on foraging trips to gather resources for the shop together. During masquerade ball season , when he would be making new masks (to keep up the inventory) for his annual stall , he would daydream about the different styles of masks and colours that would suit them . Asking Muriel for help while carving out masks and showing him his ideas via magic (the same way he used while daydreaming). It would all be so they (MC) could have more options to choose from. He would always daydream about them dancing at ball together. When he saw other couples in the ball doing different types of couple activities, it too would feed his daydream fuel.

• While away on trips , he would daydream of bringing MC with him. To explore new places, meet new people, experience new experiences together. When the longing became too much to bear for him alone , he would return to meet them.

• (After MC's death) Daydreams were his only escape from the reality. He had no one he could rely on anymore. He would daydream about MC coming back , of him bringing MC back. He daydreamed about seeing MC again after all this time , about the time spent and what could have been. He would choose moments from his life and daydream about changing the course of how things happened, how things should have happened. He daydreamed about all that mattered to him and still there was nothing he could do to make that happen. Except being patient. Except searching for ways he could bring them back. Except daydreaming about successfully finding a way to bring them back. All because he had a creative imagination.

• (Post U.E. route) Now that everything was right , he finally dared to daydream about a future . A future where MC was present. A future where his parents were there . A future where he had people he could rely on. A future he could not wait to experience. Now his daydreams were filled with plans. Plans he would make to make his loved ones happy. Now his daydreams were not an escape, but just creative thoughts. Of course it did not happen immediately but eventually he leaned to control them. His creative thoughts help bring happiness in his loved ones lives now. His plans are always very detailed making everyone surprised when he finally decides to execute them. Why wouldn't they be surprised? Afterall he does have a very creative imagination.

That was fun to write ! I am so proud of it! Possibly my next post will be a Asra × Riku fic.