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UPDATE ON MY LIFE
Drank the most toxic drink ever invented when friend and i went to the store. The vibes were so bad I got an immediate migraine and we had to end the night, can not overstate how bad my body felt, do not drink this shit this shit will punch you in the face and leave you feeling fucking obliterated? Also I heard fucking phantom noises the rest of the night and couldnt fall asleep.
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Tell me a story -spence
UM oh god i suck at this oh gOsH
ok ok
so this last riding lesson I was at a riding lesson and I was riding Aspertain and she's going into heat right and she becomes a BITCH when going to heat like don't jump her, don't ask for the right lead, JUST HOLD ON AND PRAY
I, however, did not know she was going into heat, was like "hey coach can I have a jumping lesson?" and coach KNEW SHE WAS GOING INTO HEAT BUT WAS LIKE "lol ok" she's really nice but only sometimes
so I started out pretty decent, Aspertain was just being her usual self (which means you're charging at jumps with all the composure and grace of a limp noodle shot out of rifle) and we were doing okay. Then coach was like "ok try the barrels" so I did.
The barrels are three barrels with two standing upright and one lying on it's side. You jump the one on it's side But Aspertain was like NOPE HAHA STUPID DOUCHEBAG and jumped an upright one and that's the story of how I died and I was jumped out of the saddle which means she started bucking and I had to save myself kinda like I had to in this post and I was like "WEEEEEE" and yeah basically I have no sense of danger and it is a problem.
Waiting for my coach.
Riding story?? :D
Wanna hear about the one time I gave my coach a heart attack and she had to take five until her heart slowed down?
Okay, so we have this vertical that's at the top of a steep hill. Lemme just say that I was already fucked before we hit the jump.
I was on Aspertain and we were going to go from the bottom of the up to the vertical and over. Well for some dumbass reason I decided to lean too far forward, which meant that as we're going up the hill, I'm forward - when we hit the jump, I was forward, not balanced. I was jumped onto her neck and my heels hit her flanks. We flew over the vertical without knocking it, and as soon as she landed she immediately started bucking (reminder: I'm on her neck).
I had two options, really. Get my shit together, or fall.
I'm not sure how I managed it, but I hauled my upper body up, jammed my heels down, put my leg on, and managed to bring her head up and stop her. I wasn't even thinking, it just happened. One second I was nearly off, the next I'm grinning at my speechless coach.
And that' how you know I'm batshit.
10/10 of course, babe.
This was actually the worst one, but the only one my coach got. Again, working on the leg. In other news; LOOK MYSSI IS RIDING A MARE HOLY SHIT
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Aspen, the mare I'm slowly moving up to from Stupidface.
