#ask valkyrie

LMFAO

omg Jas!! pls allow me to elaborate!!!

so I’m currently learning how to play Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby, which you might know as the sport where women put on roller skates and hit each other while skating around in a circle. it’s really fun!! I’m still very bad at it lol

women’s flat track derby is the most common type of roller derby played worldwide, but there’s also men’s flat track and both men and women’s BANK track roller derby. You might know bank track roller derby from movies like Whip It (2009, with Elliot Page!) and that one episode of Psych.

The fundamental difference between bank track and flat track derby is, well, the track. A banked roller derby track looks like this:

whereas a flat roller derby track looks like this:

(fun fact, under the red tape that marks the boundaries of the track, there is a rope so that players can feel when they’ve skated out of bounds!)

Bank track derby is more commonly portrayed in pop culture, but flat track derby is actaully more popular in real life because a flat track can be set up anywhere in a relatively short amount of time. A bank track is expensive to build and maintain, and so are therefore less common!

They are also different sports in terms of rules, but I’m not familiar enough with bank track to tell you the differences haha

what you described in your fic « deserving » is not at all how you should treat a nosebleed…… quite the opposite actually

you should never put your head back and plz don’t ever put gauze (or anything else for that matter) in your nose to stop the bleeding…. it’s a very common misconception but you really shouldn’t and i’m not saying this because my entourage told me saw but as someone trained to give first aid

i feel like its time to share what you actually should or shouldn’t do here and why to educate everyone reading your blog

so here what you actually should do:

sit up right, put your head slightly forward and press your nose (not to hard) with your fingers for at least 10min.

all the material you need to treat a nosebleed are your hands and water and towels to clean yourself from the blood afterwards.

you really dont want to put your head back bcz you’ll be swallowing blood and that’s not great bcz you’ll end up vomiting

plz never put anything inside your nose especially not cotton balls (they’re the worst!! they tend to stick to your wound and this is a problem..). The reason for that is that, once the bleeding stop and you remove the thing you had put in to stop the bleeding, it’ll tore open the healed again and you’ll be re-bleeding.

you want to gently blow your nose every few minutes to avoid blood clots to form for the same reason you don’t put anything inside your bleeding nostril; when the blood clot dry it’ll become annoying and you risk re-bleeding once it get out. you have to be very gentle when doing this.

if your bleeding is caused by and head injury, lasts for more than 30min, is frequent or very abundant or if it’s in a child under 2 go see a doctor asap !!!! don’t take this lightly.

using gauze is usually the better way to clean and bandage a cut or open wound because it is made for this use and won’t fall appart on the wound, i’m happy you mentioned gauze in your fic instead of anything else, but for a nosebleed it’s not appropriate.

again i’m sorry to bother you with this but this is important and too many people don’t know how to correctly treat a nosebleed, i took this as the perfect opportunity to teach people how to do this

hi! thank you for taking the time to educate me, i can see you’re very passionate about the subject.

y’know, i debated while writing the fic whether or not to include this line (which is the one i think you’re so incensed about):

“you open your watery eyes and tilt your head back like your mom always told you to do with a nosebleed.“

because (and i know this might come as a shock to you, considering you assumed i don’t know anything at all!) i do actually know that you’re not supposed to tilt your head back when your nose is bleeding. i have some first aid training, and was a nanny to my little cousin with frequent nosebleeds for a summer a while back. (though, i wouldn’t expect you to know that:))

but i thought to myself, “what might your average high schooler who’s just been bonked in the face do?” and i said to myself, “why, self, she might not know this little tidbit of fairly obscure first aid information, and might simply rely on a common misconception that perhaps her mother told her!” and i called it a day.

you might note, also, that there are no qualified medical personnel or first responders at the volleyball practice in question who would know what to do with a nose break. one could argue that the coaches might have some first aid training, but it’s my goddamn story, and in this particular little fantasy i concocted about falling in love with anime men, they do not. so they did what they thought was right and patched her up with stuff from the first aid kit, as best as they were able. (and, as you might note, i never said anyone put gauze inside her nose.)

now, when we get to the nurse’s office, one might also argue that the nurse would have handled it differently! because she is in fact a qualified medical professional. perhaps i could have included some dialogue about how she instructed our dear reader to gently blow her nose. alas, i did not.

luckily, i don’t believe anyone’s coming to my blog for emergency medical advice! and if someone takes what i’ve written in a self-indulgent little fantasy about falling in love with an anime boy as indisputably correct medical fact, i can’t exactly say that’s on me. that one can be pinned on whoever neglected to teach them reading comprehension or how to separate fiction from reality.

NEMO ADKSFJKAHAHAHAHA NOOO MY DARLING Marquie was referring to this post which I reblogged, but this is utterly adorable and I accept it 100%