#ask umber

"Show, Don't Tell"

To simplify: Don't just tell the audience what's happening by stating a bunch of general facts about your scene or characters; show how it affects both them and the things around them.

Some of the most important parts about smut are the actions taken. But describing actions can only do so much before you just sound repetitive every two to three lines/paragraphs. I find that most people fall into this trap when describing physical characteristics.

Like, if a character's dick/clit/pussy was described and established to be big/hard/wet/etc., during the first few sentences of the previous paragraph, you don't need to state it over again a few breaks down. Instead, tell the audience what they're doing or thinking about that that's turning them on. And then, after that, tell the audience how that's making them feel.

Sometimes it helps to establish a action/cause and effect sort of protocol. I tend to choose three different variations:

● If Character A does this, then it will cause Character B to feel like that. ● If Character B does this, then it will cause Character A to react like that. ● If Character 1 does this, then it will cause Character 2 to feel/look/bodily react like that.

You can even follow it up with a sort of "Therefore" and explain how the reaction is perceived by the person causing it. And yes I'm plugging my own writing as an example.

● Action/Cause: "He hooks the edge of your camisole with a thumb and pulls until the breast he’d captured spills free." ● Effect/Bodily Reaction: "The naked heat of his palm makes the air hang in your lungs for a few seconds before it picks up in your chest." ● Action: "Erik’s thumb traces the prominent, dark edge of an areola, travelling over the soft rise of your nipple before toying idly with it." ● Effect: "it beads and hardens into ebony under his fingertips," ● Bodily Reaction: "your lashes flutter slightly." ● Therefore: "He rolls and strokes until it becomes difficult to ignore without fidgeting."

That's how it all works together in harmony to provide details when you apply it with more general descriptions of things, then add dialogue and prose.

✨

When it it's time to get down to the real business, pairing action with more descriptive reactions/thoughts works the best for me:

Fave examples: "You whimper through the initial ache, your hands flying up to find purchase on his arms as he keeps them locked around you." "He doesn’t let up, keeping you cracked open around him and impeding any twitch or squirm of your hips as his movements circle back in a tight, painstaking rhythm." "He digs in deep, stretching you out like he’s trying to make space for himself in a place much too small for him to fit in." "Your body begins to make room for him as he recarves his place inside you—He stays nestled there; hollowing out every hidden crack and corner." And of course this entire nasty gem:

Also, if you're looking to extend sex or romance scenes, you don't have to think up 83 new positions to keep dragging one scene out for a hundred thousand words.

Try switching to a more limited pov to give a brief look into one of the character's thoughts and feelings.

One more exampled protip:

When it comes to sounds/moans/etc., try to describe that in words as well. You do not have to describe the sounds of sex with the same "slap slap slap. plap plap plap." sound-effect cues you see in a rule34 hentai manga 😭

Ending tips:

● Use a thesaurus when you run out of ways to say one word. And don't be afraid to completely reword a sentence or paragraph to make it fit better either. ● Please re-read your stuff before posting it. Fanfic doesn't have to be perfect, but you want it to be legible to anyone reading it. ● I encourage you to develope your characters a bit more beyond what they bring to the bedroom so that you can give them more of that feeling and detail you're looking for in smut scenes. That connection and immersion for the audience only works with incite into how they think and act.

Black-Reader is tricky for some people. Technically the point is to self-insert, but I uh…I don’t do that 😭Nothing against anyone who does, but I just see the Reader as a Mini-OC, and most times they’re nothing like me. BUT, I think the main thing to take into consideration is that some people do self-insert, so you might be seeing a story from someone’s personal perspective.

Black people often have to read and perceive media from the perspectives of characters that are nothing like us, even if they’re not White. Someone with pale/tanned/olive skin and silky hair is not seen as Black in any of these popular stories. So I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it’s okay to reverse that situation once in a while and have a non-Black person read about a character who’s hair has tiny, tight curls that grow out and up like a cloud on their head, or someone who has big, full lips and a wider/rounder or flatter-profiled, button-like noses. Or someone with skin darker than your average kafé au lait and paper bag.