Percy: You know, sharks are actually the himbos of the sea.

Nico: What are you even talking about?

Percy: You know, strong, kind, and a little dumb. This movie just gives them bad rap.

Nico: So, you're saying a shark couldn't make this much bloodshed in real life.

Percy: Oh, no, they are totally capable of killing indiscriminately, but this shark is like, supervillain level smart, that's just not realistic.

I'm doing a asking percico

Percy: that depends on what the quest is and who we are with. One quest we went with Grover, and since he figured out me and nico were a thing, he let us be as lovey as we wanted.

Nico: For instance, we sleep in shifts right? Well when it was Grover’s turn, we were snuggled up with each other.

I imagine Nico showing Percy that text post and him being jokingly offended at that.

Percy: Two years is not that big, you know... and how come you're younger only when it benefits you? You're "born in the 30s" and "basically an old man" in any other context! Besides, I'm not immature!

Nico: Boobies.

Percy: *snickers, then his eyes widen* gods damn it!

Nico: If it makes you feel any better, dating me means you rob both the cradle and the grave.

Percy: you do realize that also applies to you...

Would you guys happen to be related to what s happening to New York cité right now?

Percy: You can't prove anything! Nothing you say will hold in court!

Nico: they mean the flooding, Percy.

Percy: oh, then no. Rain is weird, man. It's water but it comes from the sky, so I can't really control that unless I'm mixing powers with Jason or something.

Nico: but it's a nice excuse to go into the zoo and take a seal.

Percy: first of all, it was a sea lion, second of all, we just played for a bit and I returned her before anyone noticed me, and third of all, I never did that and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

Nico: including yourself, I guess.

Percy: anyways, the flood is dangerous for us too. Stay safe if you live in the area!

Percy: Well, it's true, but I'm actually curious, too. Nico?

Nico: I... don't know? I'd have to call Alecto. She does my taxes.

Percy: Okay, first of all, Mrs. Dodds does your taxes?

Nico: Why do you think she posed as a math teacher? She's been doing the taxes of DOA Recording Studios since the 30s.

Percy: ...Fair enough. Second of all, how can you not know?

Nico: It's just a lot to keep track of! I went from thinking I had nothing but the clothes on my back to having the god of wealth for a father and diplomats for grandparents. If you tell me I have a manor somewhere in Veneto, I'd believe you.

Percy: Oh gods, I'm dating a trust fund baby.

Nico: I am not! I have a job! Sure, it's kind of freelancing, but it's a job!

Percy: And your employers are your father and his extended family.

Nico: ... How much will it cost me for you to never bring this up again?

Percy: Well... I've been craving a romantic getaway to the beach. Just you, me, and the ocean.

Nico: Pack up then, we're spending the weekend in Zakynthos.

Percy: Okay so, um, I did try. Turns out... I can't do that. I don't think I'm that flexible. My singing is also... very not good.

Nico: Most strippers lip-sync, you know? Else they'd be all out of breath while doing shows.

Percy: Have you been to male strip clubs before?

Nico: I'm a gay guy who can't access the Internet, what do you think?

Percy: For some reason I'm both not surprised and incredibly jealous.

Nico: Come on, it was before we got together, I was even using a fake ID! It's not like I got a favorite or even paid for lap dances.

Percy: I'll practice! I will get it right!

Nico: You really don't have to—

Percy: And since you know what it looks like, can you watch and give pointers?

Nico: ... do it all on your own! Of course I'll help, Percy!

Percy: You'll see, I'll improve in no time.

You guys have watched magic mike? what did you think of it? Percy, would you dance like that for Nico x) ? you got the body for it and I bet you got the skills too *wink wink*

Nico: I watched it expecting it to be really dumb eye candy, but the plot was actually deeper than I thought... while still having eye candy.

Percy: I actually haven't watched it, what is it about?

Nico: Um... it's about dancing, Percy. Dancing and the issues that come with doing it.

Percy: Oh, like Footloose or Dirty Dancing? That's cool, I'll have to watch it later.

Nico: I don't think it would interest you, really...

Percy: Maybe not, but the asker thinks you'll like it if I dance like in the movie, so I have to see it first. Did it become viral like that Wednesday dance?

Nico: Not quite...

Percy: All the more reason to watch it, then!