#ask pentious.

A young gentleman toils away in the lab he created in his house. His inventions are all he wanted to create since he was a kid. He never thought he'd have the funding he does today. Sure some of the inventions he creates are used to destroy the lives of people he'd never meet, but it's not like he's doing it, right?

“Father? Mum says it's time for dinner, will you be joining us tonight?” A young child peaks around the corner, his voice is laced with apprehension and ready for disappointment.

“Not now, Edward, I've told you not to disturb me while I'm working.” The gentleman replies in a harsh tone. “J-just tell your mother to leave it on the table, I'll eat it when I have time.”

The child walks further into the room, always enamored by the machinery his father created. He picks up a small machine, giggling as it's gears twirl and twist. The intricacy of each connection makes him think his father is some sort of wizard, no mortal hand could create such an exquisite design.

“Will you put that down! These aren't toys, Edward!” The gentleman says as he swiftly rips the machine away from the child, placing it high upon a shelf. His eyes drift back to the child, now looking on the verge of tears. “Edward, I'm...I'm sorry, it's just that I have deadlines.”

The child's eyes continue to well up with tears and he runs out of the room back to the comfort of his mother, he slams the door behind him, the vibrations knocking the small machine to the floor. Gears flying across the room and metal bits clang. The man sighs. He grabs a broom from his closet and begins to sweep up the parts.

“Why do you always mess up with him, you idiot. He's just a curious child like you were at his age. He deserves a better father.” The man talks to himself out loud. “Tomorrow, no work, I'll take him and Adelaide to the commons and we'll make a day of it.”

As he thinks over plans tomorrow his mind begins to wander. He's almost finished with sweeping up the mess when there's a sound of shattering glass behind him. It snaps him back to attention and his eyes widen as he turns. He's met with a burst of flame. His best efforts to pat the fire out with a cloth are for nothing, before long half of the laboratory is engulfed in flames. Thinking of his only recourse he rushes out the door to the dining room. He rounds the corner seeing his wife and child eating their dinner.

“Adelaide, take Edward and get out of here! The lab is burning, and I don't think we have much time befo-” His words are cut as an explosion knocks debris across the room, trapping the family in the dining room, the only room they can run to is back into the lab. Smoke begins to fill the room. The gentleman makes a quick decision and smashes the window of the dining room. His arm cut as he pulls it back in.

“Go! Now! I'll be there soon, I have to save my research!” The man yells to his wife and child.

“No, forget your work, just come with us! Please!” His wife Adelaide protests.

“Papa! Please!” Edward joins in.

“We don't have time for this, just go! I'll be out soon!” The man reassures his family, he helps them through the window, puts a cloth over his mouth and rushes back into the lab. He heads straight for the drawer where his papers are stored, grabbing at them frantically and with reckless abandon he gets what he could, he makes his way back towards the dining room. As he's mere inches away from the door, the roof crumbles, blocking him in. He looks around the room the only other way out is a small window. He rushes to it, throwing out his papers to save them, then he tries to squeeze himself through the window but can't quite make it through.

“Papa!” Edward says rushing towards the window to help his father.

“Edward no! Stay away it isn't safe! Adelaide! Get him please” The man says and watches as his wife grabs their child to pull him to safety.

The room begins to collapse around him, and he realizes this is it there's no way out.

“Edward...Adelaide...I love you... and I'm-” His words end with a beam falling on top of him, it's instant, he's gone.

“ssssorry!” The sentence finishes as he's met with an unfamiliar landscape. He tries to take a step but can't seem to feel his legs, in fact his body feels different.

“What the Hell?” -🎩🐍

Here you go

Ah! Yesss, fellow engineer, the beaver! Alwaysss loved the little fellowsss!-🎩🐍

Ouroborus Part 2:

Mobius

TW: Mentious of death and sui.

Pentious stares unmoving for a moment as Lute takes off. He finally comes back to reality and rushes over to Phil's lifeless shell. He looks up to the form of Lute roughly flying through the sky and hatred swells for her like he never felt before. He wants her ended, the feuds he had with various denizens of Hell were all from a place of ego. This? This was as if she cut his heart in two when she did that to Phil. Before he could seethe in his rage much longer, he sees the light of the Seraphim approaching from above.

“Pen? Is that y- no...” Emily cuts her sentence short seeing Phil laying on the ground almost in half.

“I told you nothing good would come of this situation.” Sera angrily whispers to Emily as they land near Sir Pentious.

Sera holds Emily back as she approaches Pentious cautiously. “Pentious, Pen, if I may call you that could I ask you what happened?” She places her hand softly on his shoulder and he jerks away.

“Your rogue angel.” He says with venom in his voice for the first time since he had been in Heaven. “Becaussse of her I've lossst one of my min...one of my children!”

Pentious marches towards Sera scowling at her the whole time, getting inches away from her face. “Thisss hasn't felt much like paradissse so far...Ssseraphim...I've been made to hide, to fear for my life, forced to wear a masssk to hide my own face. ALL for your sssense of order, and I'm fucking done! It'sss her or me tonight, and ssshe's tracking blood from her ssstab wound. Ssso if you don't end thisss, I will. Eggs, please, go back to Missss Emily's, your dad hass business to tend to.”

Emily looks at Pentious as he slithers off and says to Sera, “We have to find her before he does.”

Sera looks annoyed and fires back, “I know that Emily.”

The Seraphim once again take to the sky and track the trail of blood to a house, the door wide open and an upstairs window creaking in the breeze. They enter the the house.

“S-Sera...she's really hurt...” Emily says as she sees the blood stains marking each couple of feet from the ground floor up the stairs.

Sera doesn't say a word as she narrows her eyes, studying the scene. She sees an opportunity here, but decides to keep her thoughts to herself.

“Emily stay here.” Sera says to her younger counterpart.

“But Sera I-” Emily's voice is cut off by Sera.

“I said stay here!” Sera's eyes open threateningly to warn Emily not to press any further.

Emily narrows her eyes at Sera and her expression drops to one of quiet resentment at her condescension. She is getting really tired of being treated like she isn't an adult.

“Fine, I'm going to wait outside then.” Emily snaps back. Sera continues to look annoyed at the younger Seraphim.

As Emily exits the house Sera begins climbing the stairs. She follows the trail of shining blood to Vienna's room where she is met with the sight of Vienna's body. She was expecting some sort of a scene, but not quite what she's met with. She places a hand over her mouth looking at the body, then to the angelic gun laying by V's side. She quickly grabs it and examines the weapon when she sees Emily hovering outside the window. Emily's eyes filled with tears and both of her hands covering her mouth.

“Sera...why would she?...This is Heaven!”, Emily questions Vienna's actions.

Sera thinks quickly to avoid breaking Emily's view of paradise. “It was Lute. Obviously she's lost herself. First she kills Pentious's egg, then this...poor soul, and now she won't stop until she's killed Pentious as well.” Sera says forcing herself to believe her own words. “I don't know why Lute would target her, but it's clear she had her motivations, she even took this woman's halo...”

“Lute?! But...why would she...I mean since when has Lute even used a gun anyway? It seems uncharacteristic of her.” Emily tries to give Lute some benefit of the doubt.

“Emily, it's clear she's unstable, she's capable of anything.” Sera says as she glances to the clock. We should look for more evidence so we can make our case adamantly.

“Sera, Pentious is heading for Lute as we speak, we need to stop him or find her now!.” Emily says with anxiety filling her voice.

“Emily! Stop! It will be okay, he's on...foot, is the best way to put it, we'll be done and on our way quick enough...and Lute is hurt, she won't be getting too far.” Sera says to quiet Emily's concerns and to give herself more time to decide what to do.

As the Seraphim search the room, Lute finds herself stumbling to Sadie's door.

".. You, choose"

..

"Choose a number between one and ten.."

[Pentious looks at the stranger and his demeanor. He questions how he's going to kill an immortal soul with a shotgun then makes a decision.]

Well, my good ssstranger, THREE POINT ONE FOUR!-🎩🐍

[The eggs and Pentious produce pies and cover the stranger then run away.]

Part 2: Twilight Wings

It's been a week since Vienna delivered Lute the dossier, complete with access to Pentious's phone number. She's confused as to why he gave it up so quickly but nonetheless it is access to him. A few days ago she had received her upgraded sword and a brand new one. Her original sword, Abaddon, looks spotless. The new sword, she christened “Apollyon” feels slightly different, especially in her new prosthetic hand but it's nothing she can't get used to. She stares at her phone, she knows once she brings him out, she'll have to end him quick and make it look like an accident... It's a lot to plan, especially considering the near immortality of human souls. It won't be easy, but at least Pentious is an insecure bumbling fool. Yeah, they'll believe he was clumsy enough to get himself killed. She finally sends a message:

“Pentious, hey, it's V. I was wondering if you could meet me near Samson's Glade. I have a new experiment, I'd like your help with! Can you meet me there in about 2 hours?” She sends the message, then waits for a reply.

Twenty minutes pass without a response, her mind is racing. He's not taking the bait, this is going to fail. It can't fail, I have to get rid of him. 45 minutes now. This is the only chance I have, if he catches onto the plan then I'll never get the element of surprise again! Why is this taking so lo-

A ringtone cuts off her thoughts. It's him, he replied. She exhales, her heart rate dropping back to base levels. She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. She hadn't realized the anticipation made her start to sweat until now. Since when do I get this worked up before anything like this? She finally opens the message:

“Why yes, dear, I'd love to help! You said 2 hours? Sorry it took so long to reply, but I'll try to be there in a couple of hours then!” Pentious's message makes her heart rate jump again. Yes! He took the bait, this is it!

With one swift movement, she takes to the air, her wings push the ground away from her faster than ever and she takes aim for Samson's Glade. As she approaches, she finds the tallest tree to keep a lookout. She lands softly on a thick branch and begins to scan the area. Everything looks undisturbed, she sees a few rocks here and there, mostly grays and browns, a couple of them very brightly white, the stream that runs near would sound relaxing at any other time, but now it reminds her of all the sinner's blood she's spilled only for a sinner to get into Heaven anyway.

“Here you go Shelley, just sssit right there and we'll be ready to get this project ssstarted...” Her expression becomes one of predatory malice until she hears his next words, then her face drops.

“Eh, Lute?” His voice becomes a shout and Lute's mind is spinning with thoughts. How the fuck did he know it was me? Did he bring the Seraphim? What now?

She descends like a hawk diving for it's prey and lands just a couple of yards from the snake.

“Pentious. You know what this is.” She says feigning the same confidence she had when she thought the element of surprise was hers.

“Yesss, I had caught wind of your little revenge plot, my dear. Miss Vienna was a good ssspy, I admit it took me a moment to catch on, but ssshe knew a little too much about me, from sssources that would never reveal it.” Pentious says with some smarm.

Pt. 1: Messages in the Dark

A few days before Lute was tipped off to Pentious's identity everything seemed radio silent. Sera and Emily...mostly Emily were watching over Sir Pentious. Making sure his existence wasn't in danger of being exposed. The Exorcists trained as if nothing had happened in Hell, though it was painfully obvious to the women that Lute was shaken deeply. Adam's absence was noticed by angels and winners alike but the truth is a lot of them didn't miss him. Even some of the Exorcists shared this feeling. Still, Heaven was missing an important piece of their legacy. Sera was conflicted. She thought Adam was careless, brash, and downright insolent at times, yet she put up with it because until the last extermination everything worked fine.

Ever since the battle at the hotel, Sera had it in her head that Lute was going to be a loose cannon if Pentious was ever found out, and she had been making plans for it. She kept her dealings secret from even Emily, it was easier on her that way. She loved Emily but she was too headstrong and naive for her own good. Sera suggested that she prep Lute and the Exorcists for the reality that sinners can be redeemed, but she wasn't sure if Emily had done so yet. Probably not.

On Sera's desk sat a file on Sir Pentious. Who he was in life, in Hell, and how he got to Heaven. Apparently the powers that be found self-sacrifice to be a redeemable quality, even for sinners. Sera was uneasy about it all. Heaven was meant for people who proved themselves in life, not for people who finally decided not to be selfish during their “eternal” punishment. She wasn't as angered about it as much as she was anxious about what this could mean for Heaven's status quo. When he arrived she had taken photos of him for his file, not something you'd typically do for a soul new to Heaven, but she thought it was best to be as detail oriented as possible. Seven photos laid out in front of her, she examined each one with skepticism as to how this happened.

“Sir Pentious,” She says to herself. “what am I going to do about you? We can't hide you forever.”

She has other work to do, so she moves his file off to the side and grabs a letter she needed to send to someone in the Soul Processing Bureau. This is less about organization of Heaven itself, but more about peace of mind for Sera herself. She hasn't sent any information on Sir Pentious yet, which is killing her need to have everything accounted for. The letter, written on golden paper, is her preferred method of file keeping. It seems old fashioned considering how far advanced heaven is but they're all digitized anyway so it doesn't matter in the end. Her head is full of images, she wonders how this will work out. She remembers something she forgot with Pentious's photos so she puts the letter aside and begins to scribble detailed information on the back of each one. Things like date of rebirth and any changes he reported upon materializing, a few pictures of him without the mask, a few of him in his mask. While all these details are something you could find within the file itself she wants to make sure the specific details are their on the photos for basically a bullet point of him. She puts six photos back into his file and takes one final look at it, her expression one of melancholic uncertainty.

She shakes her head free of the thoughts that plague her, as she folds the letter over any attachments it has and slides it delicately into the envelope. She looks pensively at the file and puts it away.

“I hope this will go smoothly.” She says while eyeing the location of the file.

She gets up and heads off to deliver the letter, thinking that taking a walk will ease her mind anyway. She had heard Pentious was being escorted out to one of the zoos today, something about finding the rest of his eggs. She isn't sure how many are up here, but she would prefer it if they were kept to Emily's house too. She exhales one last time before leaving her office.

In the days since he had been informed of Lute's knowledge of him, Pentious had been increasingly on edge. He worries for his eggs, for Emily, for Kayla and for himself. He finds he is distrustful of anyone on the street even if they can't tell his identity from behind his mask. He still goes out, after finding a bakery he enjoys he keeps a morning routine of getting an eclair and a black coffee. He makes sure to get Phil, Eggbert, Shelley, and Gregg their favorites too. If it weren't for his morning routine he'd barely experience paradise at all. Lately that's a word that he feels contention towards. Paradise. It seems like everyone else gets to freely enjoy the pleasures of heaven except him. He felt freer in Hell. That's ironic.

“Hello, dear, may I get the usssual?” Pentious asks the cashier.

“2 eclairs, a brownie, a cherry tart, a regular glazed doughnut, and a black coffee, right?” The cashier says with a smile.

“That'sss it, your memory is quite impeccable!” Pentious fires a smile back.

He stands out of the way, waiting for his order, a formality really, you could get anything instantaneously in Heaven, but some people prefer the simulation of living life to the instant gratification of this place. Pentious stares out the window as his order is being made. He watches the other souls freely go about their days, having conversations with angels, laughing, talking. Hanging his head a bit he wonders when it'll be his turn to be free again. Pentious's mind wanders far away from the present thinking back to the hotel and how much fun he had with Angel, Husk, Charlie, Vaggie, and even Niffty when she wasn't trying to stab him. Alastor mostly kept to himself, which was fine, he never wanted to deal with Alastor's bad side again.

“Sir?” The cashier addresses him, having tried to get his attention multiple times, this is the one that snaps him back into reality.

“Oh, my dear, I'm sssorry, I wasss lost in thought. I didn't mean to hold up the line at your lovely essstablishment.” Pentious smiles softly as he takes his order from the cashier and slithers back out the door.

As he takes a sip of his coffee, he sees what he thinks is Lute flying to the top of a building, though she's out of her normal exorcist attire, her silver and white hair is unmistakable. As she flies away she see's another woman come running out looking distraught from the alley. His anxiety is peaking now, he can feel his heartbeat in his head and his body trembles. His world seems to become dream-like.

“No...no no no, I mussst get back to Misss Emily'sss house now...I have to-” his words to himself are cut off as he hears an all too familiar voice let out a pained scream. Was it for him? Was she angry and searching for him at the top of the building? There's no time to question that now, he drops the bag of treats and the coffee and quickly makes his way back to Emily's house. His morning routine now disrupted the coffee resembles a darkened blood stain on the otherwise clean streets of Heaven.

My minionsss seem to have been misssplaced. Apparently Frank survived in Hell, but the othersss are still MIA. I do hope to find them sssooon, Heaven isn't paradissse without my little egg boisss! 🎩🐍