#ask indie

You Can Compare Apples To Oranges Because They’re Both Metaphors And Taxonomy Is A Social Construct is probably what id call it, and it would be about crowley and aziraphale, pre-antichrist, having a fried breakfast and arguing because crowley wanted to swap his mushrooms for extra sausage but the waitress was like, ‘sorry you can only swap like for like - meat for meat, bread for bread, veg for veg’ and then they get into a bickering match about whether tomatoes, beans or mushrooms are vegetables. aziraphale clings to the fact that none of them are, technically, though tomatoes are taxed as a vegetable, and crowley jumps on this as proof that well then, there you go, whats to say the other definitions arent just as made up as taxes, and tries to argue that a sausage is a kind of fruit pie, and brings demons and angels into the question claiming that theres no real difference between them and eventually they reach a very soft moment where aziraphale is like it matters because the differences are how we make sense of things and if everything is the same and the differences are made up then how do you keep going? and crowley is like oh angel its alright tomatoes can be a fruit or a vegetable for just as long as you need them to be xx

ooooh so the bit that still makes me laugh when i picture it is right from the first chapter, when crawley has discovered that aziraphale doesnt know how to play any games and decides to teach him one:

‘“Alright. An easy one - Twenty Questions. It’s a guessing game,” he explained. “We take it in turns to think of something - anything at all. And the other person has to try and guess what it is by asking questions, but they’re only allowed to ask twenty, max. It’ll make sense once we’re playing,” he added, on seeing Aziraphale’s expression. “Look, I’ll start. I’m thinking of something, now you ask to find out what it is.”

Aziraphale’s brow wrinkled. “…what is it?”

“You know what? That’s on me,” said Crawley.’

3 - and because i know we’re all egocentric, have you ever made yourself laugh out loud or cry with a fic you wrote? i laugh at my own fics CONSTANTLY. im literally the only person im ever trying to make laugh and i do it all the time haha almost the whole time i was writing Hozier Missed A Trick i was cackling away to myself. im hilarious 😂

6 - what is your favourite sense to incorporate in your writing and why? i like doing a stuff with smell, i think it’s the most evocative sense. nothing makes you feel something quite as hard as a smell that brings back memories etc, and i think its a pretty inherently intimate thing - recognising someone’s smell etc. theres a reason so many people enjoy that line in GO abt crowley knowing aziraphale’s smell lol

7 - what is you favourite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic) damn u picked the pic with the most sentences to choose from haha im not going to read it for you im afraid, but my favourite paragraph is probably when they’re completely hammered at the pub quiz:

‘The special Hallowe'en round went even worse than History. They ended up with an answer sheet that was blank save for the word ‘Dickula’ and a wobbly drawing of a snake wearing sunglasses labelled 'Anthony Crowley is completely legless'.

“That's very offensive,” said Crowley as Aziraphale put the finishing touches to his masterpiece.

Aziraphale didn't look up. Tongue poked out in concentration, he proceeded to write 'some legs good, none legs bad' in blocky capitals beside the snake. He smiled triumphantly at Crowley, whose face twitched with the effort of not smiling back.

“Offensive,” he repeated firmly.’

15 -  describe (one of) your wip(s) in the weirdest/most contrived way possible! i mean, i feel like the title is already doing that for ‘God May Not Play Games But These Two Goobers Do’ 😂

1 - has a comment someone left on a fic of yours ever made you laugh out loud? yes, two that i remember off the top of my head. one was on a cliffhanger chapter and just said, “angery.” the other was on hozier missed a trick and read:

“They have dicks on absolutely everything. The Bhutanese that is. Flying, fire breathing, magical enormous cocks painted all over the architecture and such. It's a penis paradise. Crowley would absolutely love it. If 500 houses in Bhutan were destroyed, it would be so he could have the murals imported and put up in a phallic gallery with a pretentious coffee bar and a gift shop.”

2 - has a comment someone left on a fic of yours ever made you cry? not quiiiite, ive had some lovely lovely ones about people feeling good about their big soft bodies because of something i wrote about aziraphale’s big soft body that made me pretty emotional.

14 - what trope would you refuse to write even if you were paid to do it? even if i was paid???? damn that’s hard, im pretty easy to get to do things if it involves cash money. i suppose wldn’t write a/b/o just bc it squicks me and id have no idea wtf i was doing. and i cant imagine writing really dark fic, but i also cant imagine anyone asking me to based on what ive written before haha