#ask d

But you had to go and tag it transandrophobia.

Now, even if I was still willing to reblog such a problematic tag (that we blacklisted and just absent mindedly happened to click through the warning, btw), noone on our side would take it seriously.

You have to understand how intersectionality works, my man. Transandrophobia implies an intersection between two forms of oppression, transphobia, and that of being a man / masculine. That sounds really sketchy. Transandrophobia has been used far too much as a dogwhistle to undermine the very real intersection between transphobia and mysoginy by presenting itself as the "men" version of it.

Now, even in edge cases where the "men" bit might even matter, such as in the reproductive health post, such a word is still bound to divide everyone, and get all sorts of twerfs on your side, and drive all of the transfems away.

Remove the tag, friend, and let us fight for you too.

The term was coined by a trans man of color to talk about a specific subset of experiences often had by trans men, transmasculine folks, or folks who may be perceived or assumed to be transmasculine

And to be honest I think I should be able to use whatever damn term I want to describe the specific oppression I face as a trans man (and especially as a trans man of color), without other people getting to police what words I get to use. First it was transmisandry, then that was bad so it was transandrophobia, then that was bad so now it's anti-transmasculinity. Maybe we should focus less on the specific term I use and more on the actual experiences I'm describing.

And I guarantee you TWERFs aren't in my notes singing me praises, I get hate from every fucking demographic on this app. Trans women, trans men who subscribe to the TME/TMA binary, TERFs/TWERFs, TRFs, transmed/truscum folks, and more.

Additionally, there are aspects of transandrophobia that are systemic (like the post I made regarding reproductive healthcare, and also the way the government treats trans men in legal formatting very similarly to the way all trans people get treated legally) but not all instances of transandrophobia are based in systemic oppression. A lot of what I talk about when it comes to transandrophobia is not oppression, it is experiences and hostility I face within queer spaces for being specifically a trans man.

I have faced lots of hostility (NOT oppression) from other queer and trans people in my life for being specifically a trans man. Being told I'm a "gender traitor" by queer women is one, being told I'm both too masculine for other people to be comfortable and also not masculine enough to be treated as a "real man". Many many people on Tumblr who unironically post things like "I hate all men including or especially trans men" or "trans men need to shut up" or even in extreme cases, "trans men should die" (yes there are people like that).

Transandrophobia is the word I choose to give a name to this sort of trans specific anti-masculinity that is so prevalent in queer and "progressive" spaces, and anti-masculinity affects my cis masc and male friends in our supposed community as well.

I'm sick and tired of having to be the acceptable punching bag in my communities because I'm a man, and I am going to be vocal about it.

If the word transandrophobia bothers you, you have every right to block me. I make it very clear what I post about in my pinned post and I will not be changing the way I speak about my own experiences and the experiences of my masc brothers and siblings because you've dictated our words are now transmisogynistic.

Hmm. For holders with a penis, definitely grabbing/squeezing the tip.

Hey there! That sounds like an awesome story!

First off, yes I think that’s a solid enough reason. Magical creatures are the reason why he didn’t have a mother, so he’s making sure that there are fewer of them in the world to cause more pain. 

Now, as to how she can track him down, I would say it depends on many different things. What kind of magical creature is she? Can she fly? Swim? Walk/run? Was she there when her mother was taken (like right there watching) or did she see from a distance (for example, she was playing in the field when he kidnapped her mother)? She could pursue him either partially (before losing him) or completely. If she was able to memorize his face, voice, tattoos or notable features that would make him stand out to other humans, then she could track him down by asking (or intimidating) other humans as she journeyed. She may even be able to shape shift into a human form and track him in disguise. Or perhaps her sense of smell is very good and she never forgets a scent. She could remember that even if she didn’t see him. 

There are several other questions you could ask yourself that would help, but these were just a few ideas to get you thinking. If you want to come back with more specific questions, we would love to help you. Good luck!

Hello :3

Hiii :3

It looks like that since he was calm and most parents would get angry if they thought their kids was being married to volatile/ angry person.

that's a really good point. I loved this scene. it truly gave me the redemption I wanted for Lita. she went from sweet to evil back to sweet real quick.

Lita notices that Thyme is struggling to contain himself at the mention of early wedding. I think Lita made the decision to break off the engagement back in Thyme's bedroom, when she saw how useless he was in his declarations to free himself. Lita really looked at him and thought, wow this boi is in love but utterly clueless on how to secure the love of his life. she gave up Thyme the same way Gorya gave him up. the difference being that while Gorya betrayed Thyme to give her the opportunity, Lita betrayed her parents by lying. but as you say, perhaps the father knew that none of that was true.

you know Thyme takes a deep inhale and swallows thinking he is about to reveal the truth, that he cannot marry their daughter. Lita doesn't want to be anymore humiliated than she has been. remember she has been a pawn between Gorya and Thyme for a while now. Thyme begged her to be his girlfriend, promised to love her only to fail on all fronts. Lita is proud, and it is her pride she treasures above all else, I think that was the reason she stuck to him for so long like glue, like Thyme said, it was about winning.

when he goes to announce the split, she is faster and dispels the illusion of perfect couple quickly. she blames Thyme for being a brute, she blurts it out, almost as if she had to hurry or she might change her mind. but I believe my girl had this planned all along.

I think it's brilliant that she assaults and insults him and they part ways in the same way they met. he calls her a monkey, she stomps his foot, ruffles his hair and he looks at her like a lost puppy. a true bottom indeed. lmao. what a deja vu. they mirrored this with Gorya at the airport, too and I liked the parallels.

listen.

Thyme releases that she was preparing to do this back in his room. his flashback confirms it. he goes to her to comfort her, actually but she pushes him away, which is ironic.

it's as heartbreaking as watching Thyme and Gorya break up. I swear I cried. the way Thyme is looking at Lita, admiring her self-sacrifice, because they've both learnt that you can't gain love that was never yours. Lita understood Gorya's sacrifice and so did Thyme. Gorya taught them BOTH that by caring for other people you gain more than you lose, that losing a battle doesn't mean you lose a war. sometimes it's a out the long game. and Gorya is plying the long game y'all.

Lita lists all the reasons why she could never love him, but they are the reasons why she fell in love with him. which...pain train.

Thyme gains respect for Lita, he watches her with adoration for the first time, as if he saw a whole new person. he is grateful, guilty and proud of her. well done Lita baby. you earned yourself a gold star from mommy D.