#ask col

No, they were not all immediately accepting.Patton’s Moms

Patton was out to them as poly before dating Logan, Virgil, and Roman

When he came out, his moms were immediately accepting

They knew what polyamorous was and understood it

They did want to make sure that Patton knew what it was and truly identified that way instead of using it as an excuse to cheat on his partners

When he had clarified, that he was poly, actually poly, and did know what that meant, they were extremely supportive and accepting

It also helped that they had gone through a similar process with his older sister when she first brought home her two boyfriends 

(the relationship didn’t last but it was exposure to the concept)

Roman’s Dads

Roman introduced the idea of him being poly to his dads by pretty much saying “Hey Dads, I have three boyfriends here are their names and a little bit about each one”

That was it that was the conversation

Once the shock of “hey our son just called, told us a bit about how his life was going, said he appreciated the cookies last week, and oh just told us he was dating three people all at once” wore off, they immediately called back

His Dad’s jumped to the conclusion that he was cheating and were Very Upset because

1) “we raised you a better person than that” and

2) cheating on partners is haram (forbidden by Islamic law)

Roman explained that no, he wasn’t cheating and that they were all dating each other and it was completely consensual

Dads were confused for a while and stumbled over how to refer to his boyfriends for a long time

“Er, your,, close friends??” “Boyfriends, Dads.”

Part of this continued confusion was due to the fact that Roman didn’t ever really explain it to them

It was actually Patton who explained to Roman’s dads over the phone what polyamory was and what it meant

That was when everything clicked

They were like “oh, so Roman has three boyfriends and all of you are dating each other in one singular, healthy, consensual relationship, that’s a bit new to us, but makes sense”

Patton was like “yes, that exactly” while Roman was like “that is literally what I’ve been saying the entire time”

Patton’s like “Ro, honey, you didn’t explain shit”

(he really didn’t explain it at all)

Roman’s parents immediately fall in love with the 1st of 3 boyfriends

They later made sure to send Roman cute parent texts expressing their support and desire to meet his boyfriends if their relationship ever became that serious

Virgil’s Dad

Virgil’s Dad is like the ultra ally parent

The truth is- there’s not much things that can phase a man who had his son kidnapped by an evil cult only to find and have that child returned to him years later

(and turns out he has a shit ton of trauma and then that kid’s mom left and the kid attempted suicide and started getting into fights)

and well, let’s just say he’s learned to just sort of roll with life

The best part of all this- it was actually Virgil’s father who first introduced Virgil to the term polyamorous years ago

When Virgil came out as queer he pretty much said he wasn’t straight but didn’t know what he was

His father did a ton of research to try and help and found a long list of terms, including polyamorous

Virgil ended up identifying as queer/not straight instead of anything more specific, but this was both of there introduction to the identity

In result, when Virgil explained that he was dating Logan, Patton, and Roman, he was very supportive

“Damn it, I got it wrong.” “What the fuck? Dad what are talking about.” “I thought you were going to date Roman. Not Patton, Logan, and Roman. Guess I’ll just have to deal with getting one of three.” “Your so weird Dad.” “Love you too kiddo.”

Logan’s Parents

Logan’s parents weren’t very accepting when he first came out as gay

It was actually a mixture of homophobia and ableism

In their minds, Logan didn’t have the ability to be gay because he was autistic

They later change their minds after Logan compiled a shit ton of research and created numerous well-crafted arguments

At the same time, to them “changing their minds” is more “Well I guess my son says he’s gay so,, guess I’ll accept that even though I don’t think he can be.”

Being polyamorous (and bi) went a similar way

Logan actually dated someone else before Roman and Virgil but at the same time as Patton

He tried mentioning this to his family, but because he was dating a girl as well as a boy, Patton got brushed off as a “good friend”

After Logan and the girl broke up, Patton got bumped up to “boyfriend” in their minds

When Logan started dating Patton, Virgil, and Roman he decided not to tell his parents at first because of this

When he did tell them, it went pretty similar as last time, with Patton being seen as his boyfriend and Virgil and Roman being “close friends”

When they get engaged his parents just sorta,, ignore the fact that it’s four of them in a relationship

After Exothermic, things start to change a bit more

His parents start to refer to all of his spouses as his “partners” but specifically avoid using any terms like “spouses” bc it makes them uncomfortable and they only half try to understand

Neither Logan nor his spouses mind the term “partner” but the reason Logan’s parents use it does bug them

It’s pretty much just permanently uneasy in that way

We all love a good snek boi and I absolutely can tell you more about his hearing loss.

Deceit’s Hearing Loss:

So Deceit’s being hard of hearing goes hand in hand with the fact that he has vitiligo. Basically, vitiligo attacks melanocytes- the cells that give skin and hair its color. What happened to Deceit was that the melanocytes in his inner ears were attacked, leading to hearing loss. 

He’s almost completely deaf in one ear and doesn’t bother wearing a hearing aid in it and it wouldn’t help that much anyways. He has better hearing in his other ear and with it he can generally hear more than half of spoken sounds at a normal volume with his hearing aid. Without his aid he can’t hear spoken sound at a normal volume.

What that Means:

One Hearing Aid- Even if a hearing aid won’t really help you hear in one ear, people tend to get both because it helps with locating noise. The thing is, Deceit’s worse ear is on the side where he has extreme scarring and that causes numerous complications, so he chose to go without the aid.

Location/Identification- Deceit generally can’t locate where individual sounds are coming from unless he sees where they’re coming from. He also has trouble distinguishing and identifying sounds without looking. He knows something made a sound, but couldn’t say what noise it made until whatever is making the sound is identified.

Hearing Aid- Hearing aids are exactly what they sound like, an aid that helps you hear. They do not fix your hearing. Deceit’s hearing is helped by his hearing aid but it isn’t a fix by any means.

Background Noise- Hearing aids, are again, aids, and aren’t perfect. One of the big things most fail to do is tune out background noise. Most hearing people can naturally just tune out background noise. Aids make this much more difficult and hard to distinguish certain sounds from one another.

Lip Reading- Deceit definitely uses lip reading due to the extent of his hearing loss and the imperfections of hearing aids. Deceit isn’t the best lip reader but he can hear a fair bit of conversation with his aid and he has context clues in conversation to help. 

What most people don’t realize that only 30% of the English language is readable on the lips. Meaning if someone is 100% deaf and lip reading with 100% accuracy, they can only lip read 30% of what’s being said. 

Exhaustion- Deceit has to actively focus on hearing, so it can be quite exhausting. Also, hearing aids aren’t super comfortable. He tends to not wear his hearing aid at home to give his ears and brain a break.

Phone Calls- Deceit can’t do phone calls, he can’t hear well enough.

Deaf Community- So the Deaf Community is big and full of pride (as they should be). Capital “D” Deaf is for everyone in the community opposed to medical terms like deaf, hard of hearing, hearing, etc. Deceit is not Deaf, mostly due to just a lack of exposure. He’ll probably never be Deaf. Which kinda sucks for him tbh bc the Deaf Community is awesome. 

Sign Language- Deceit does not know sign and has no intention to learn, mostly due to being raised with zero support/exposure to Deaf Culture and consequently having no Deaf Community in his adult life.

What it Means to Him:

Deceit used to see being hard of hearing as a weakness because it gave him a perceived imperfection and growing up in a cult having any sort weakness was a big no-no.

That being said, it’s part of his life now. He still has residual fear tied with the cult surrounding it, but he’s hard of hearing it’s kinda just a fact of life. He, like many deaf people, doesn’t consider it an impairment. He enjoys his life and has a great quality of life with- not in spite of- being hard of hearing, and anyone who suggest less is bout to catch these hands.

In addition, if given the option to hear perfectly again (bc everyone loves these ableist ultimatum questions, so why not address it?) Deceit would say no. Deceit doesn’t want to be hearing. He’s been hard of hearing for so long that it’s his life and part of his identity. Instead of expecting Deceit to accommodate hearing people or expect to want to be “fixed,” hearing people can move to accommodate and respect him and who is, including his deafness.

Short answer- yes. I’m putting it all below the cut bc I know this can be a real triggering topic, even though the majority of the characters deal with diets in healthy ways.

TW: dietary restrictions, medical diets, religious diets, food discussion, near death experience, eating disorders, implied forced dieting, “autism diets”, food texture issues

Trixie does indeed get to retire for about three years after Kit takes over before passing away.

Retiring a service dog can be really really simple or really difficult depending on the dog, their tasks, and if they’re ready to retire.

Trixie was getting old and was therefore “ready to retire”. When I mean “ready” I mean, she didn’t suffer an injury or had some reason she had to randomly stop. She didn’t wash out of training or anything. It was just an age/age-related health thing. In these cases, the dog is usually pretty chill about retiring.

Some dogs can still absolutely hate being retired and can also absolutely hate being replaced by a new service dog (if their owner is getting a new one). Kit and Trix had time to get used to each other, so Virgil didn’t really about that but he definitely worried about the first.

Virgil was pretty worried about how Trixie would take being retired because she’s always been so faithful and so loyal that he was worried that she would just,, sorta refused.

Plus, a lot of Trixie’s tasks aren’t commands, but environmental shifts that she has to be aware of, so it can be hard for a dog to recognize they no longer have to respond to those commands.