#jksfask

This was so fun and I have SO MUCH MORE to say so please ask me about Logan and autism please please please

Weighted Blanket

Yes, Logan does have a weighted blanket it and it has a Story

okay so as a child Logan got a weighted blanket bc it was recommended as something that helped autistic kids

and it helps him a lot. The weight is grounding and nice, and it helps him calm down from overstimulation

The Problem: Logan’s parents would take it away whenever he “misbehaved” (ie. meltdowns, shutdowns, overstimulation, etc)

This is v bad, considering these are the times he needed it Most

As he got older, the weight wasn’t proportionate to his own, making it not as effective

His parents refused to get him a new one, insisting that he was “too old for that”

Logan may or may not have had a meltdown over that

As a freshman in college, a new weighted blanket is one of the first selfish purchases Logan makes 

(Remember y’all: selfish does NOT = bad!! it just means doing things for yourself which can oftentimes be extremely important!!)

He still his old weighted blanket to this day, because it is Important to him and he’s not ready to part with it. He pulls it out every once and awhile just to feel it.

His new one- being the correct weight- obviously works a lot better. Logan throws it over himself whenever he needs that nice Heavy feeling. 

His partners also know to grab it if he’s overwhelmed and do so often

Other Stim Stuff

Logan didn’t grow up with a lot of stim toys past the age of 5-7 years old bc he was “too old for that stuff” so he had to improvise

He got a watch before he even knew how to read it just so that he had something to play with

Not Actually Stim Items that he would stim with included his watch, jacket strings (chewing), tapping pencils against other pencils, the nice noise when a mechanical pencil lead is soft on that one side in just the right way, pressing calculator buttons, chewing ice, flipping through books

He isn’t really introduced to the concept of things specifically made for stimming until the second chapter of Exothermic. After he is introduced boy has Good Time.

Stim Toys: marble trap, fidget cubes, keychains with beads, boondoggles, actual chews, those stone things, spinner rings, tangles

He still stims with a bunch of things that aren’t stim toys, but now he also has these

He was very hesitant to get the chews bc internalized ableism telling him that chews are “childish” and shit

He also has what I’m calling “natural stims” which I just mean, stims that aren’t with Other Things

Natural stims: Hands, Bouncing legs, Pulling hair, Chewing on inside of mouth, Watching videos of cool animals (especially ones with colors), Watching illusion like things, Humming, Groaning “Muh” sound from the back of throat, Rocking, Head shaking, Petting Trixies fur

Stims A Lot with his hands and they mean different things

a) Flappy Hands- excitement, fascination, curiosity, pleased, etc

b) Clenched Hands- frustrated, mad, upset, confused, often times mad at himself

c) Wringing Hands- nervous, overwhelmed, confused, out of place, etc

Things That Help Him

I’m interpreting this as things that help him calm down when Overstimulated/Experiencing Sensory Overloads/Meltdowns/Shutdowns/etc

His Headphones

Weighted Blanket

Space but knowledge that Someone Is There

Time

Stim (toy or natural stim)

Reminders afterwards that him experiencing these things is Okay and he is Not Less of a person for these things

Roman was not consciously written as ADHD on my part, but who am I to get in the way of projecting?

I may not have intended to write him that way, but you seem to connect to him through that, and that’s valid af. So why not? He can be ADHD

Take some headcanons (and feel free to add to them if you- or anyone else- wants)

ADHD isn’t a diagnosis that anyone ever thinks about because he’s always been a bit hyper and will lose focus easily, but that’s just Roman, right?

Roman has always struggled with chronic procrastination but brushed it off as being busy or lazy or uninterested even though he’s none of those things.

Roman who would play with Logan and Virgil’s stim and fidget toys and just thought they were fun but doesn’t realize how much easier it is to focus when there’s something in his hand

Roman who hated English class because it was just pages and pages of text until one teacher recommend he read it more as if he was watching a play or to think about it like a script and he slowly started to fall in love with the subject

Hyperfixtating galore on anything theater related, and applying theater to different subjects is probably the main reason he passed any of his classes tbh

Never being recommended for a diagnosis bc as a kid in CA all his teachers loved him and sure he was a bit inattentive but he was so sweet and never “disruptive” like all those other kids.

Never being recommended for a diagnosis bc as a teen in UT all his teacher’ were against this loud, flamboyantly gay, Muslim kid since the very beginning and he, nor his parents, are about to trust anything they say

(Even still, they never recommend a diagnosis. Just claimed he was “distracting” which was really code for- “we don’t like that we have to give your child mandatory time to pray so we’re going to bitch about it in the meantime”)

Roman who quite possibly never gets a diagnosis, might not ever realize he’s ADHD, but finds and develops skills to better manage and succeed in his own life 

(Said skills are skills that many neurodivergent people learn, whether naturally over time, or with a support system, or with a shit ton of trouble)

The wedding itself is pretty lowkey but very nice

Close friends and families only so it’s a relatively small wedding

a nice venue that’s very aesthetically pleasing and there is LOTS of flowers

Trixie is the flower girl and Kit is the ring bearer. They are adorable and the most important part of all of this /j

Logan’s vows make his spouses cry

Roman’s vows are Very Long but Very Good

One traditional thing in Muslim weddings is the Meher- a required gift from the groom to bride. Because Logan proposed he gives Roman his own plus their spouses birthstone charms to add to Roman’s family necklace. It’s not a very traditional gift but Roman cried once Logan told him what is for so,,,,

Also with tradition they have the wedding ceremony under a chuppah (wedding canopy) which is part of Jewish tradition and symbolizes starting a new life together

They do not do the ‘don’t see each other the day of the wedding’ thing and instead stay together

They do eventually have to be separated though bc they kept distracting each other while they were getting ready

Distractions included mostly professions of love and then they’d all start crying (which ruins the make up!!!!)

Shortly before the wedding is also the first time a lot of their families meet

Esther, Remy, and Blythe instantly band together and become Chaos Relatives. Blythe pretends to be the mature one. She is not.

This is before Exothermic so Logan’s parents are there but they’re not on the best terms and that’s decently stressful for Logan even though he insists that he wants them there.

(kdhfksdk sorry i knew this was here and totally Forgot)

Yeah, Fishbowl is rough. It’s a hard one that’s for sure. I don’t usually write angst without some sort of acknowledgement or recognition of how life goes on and we continue to just keep stumbling forward (i couldnt resist), but i felt like this one really needed to be the way it was.

No, they were not all immediately accepting.Patton’s Moms

Patton was out to them as poly before dating Logan, Virgil, and Roman

When he came out, his moms were immediately accepting

They knew what polyamorous was and understood it

They did want to make sure that Patton knew what it was and truly identified that way instead of using it as an excuse to cheat on his partners

When he had clarified, that he was poly, actually poly, and did know what that meant, they were extremely supportive and accepting

It also helped that they had gone through a similar process with his older sister when she first brought home her two boyfriends 

(the relationship didn’t last but it was exposure to the concept)

Roman’s Dads

Roman introduced the idea of him being poly to his dads by pretty much saying “Hey Dads, I have three boyfriends here are their names and a little bit about each one”

That was it that was the conversation

Once the shock of “hey our son just called, told us a bit about how his life was going, said he appreciated the cookies last week, and oh just told us he was dating three people all at once” wore off, they immediately called back

His Dad’s jumped to the conclusion that he was cheating and were Very Upset because

1) “we raised you a better person than that” and

2) cheating on partners is haram (forbidden by Islamic law)

Roman explained that no, he wasn’t cheating and that they were all dating each other and it was completely consensual

Dads were confused for a while and stumbled over how to refer to his boyfriends for a long time

“Er, your,, close friends??” “Boyfriends, Dads.”

Part of this continued confusion was due to the fact that Roman didn’t ever really explain it to them

It was actually Patton who explained to Roman’s dads over the phone what polyamory was and what it meant

That was when everything clicked

They were like “oh, so Roman has three boyfriends and all of you are dating each other in one singular, healthy, consensual relationship, that’s a bit new to us, but makes sense”

Patton was like “yes, that exactly” while Roman was like “that is literally what I’ve been saying the entire time”

Patton’s like “Ro, honey, you didn’t explain shit”

(he really didn’t explain it at all)

Roman’s parents immediately fall in love with the 1st of 3 boyfriends

They later made sure to send Roman cute parent texts expressing their support and desire to meet his boyfriends if their relationship ever became that serious

Virgil’s Dad

Virgil’s Dad is like the ultra ally parent

The truth is- there’s not much things that can phase a man who had his son kidnapped by an evil cult only to find and have that child returned to him years later

(and turns out he has a shit ton of trauma and then that kid’s mom left and the kid attempted suicide and started getting into fights)

and well, let’s just say he’s learned to just sort of roll with life

The best part of all this- it was actually Virgil’s father who first introduced Virgil to the term polyamorous years ago

When Virgil came out as queer he pretty much said he wasn’t straight but didn’t know what he was

His father did a ton of research to try and help and found a long list of terms, including polyamorous

Virgil ended up identifying as queer/not straight instead of anything more specific, but this was both of there introduction to the identity

In result, when Virgil explained that he was dating Logan, Patton, and Roman, he was very supportive

“Damn it, I got it wrong.” “What the fuck? Dad what are talking about.” “I thought you were going to date Roman. Not Patton, Logan, and Roman. Guess I’ll just have to deal with getting one of three.” “Your so weird Dad.” “Love you too kiddo.”

Logan’s Parents

Logan’s parents weren’t very accepting when he first came out as gay

It was actually a mixture of homophobia and ableism

In their minds, Logan didn’t have the ability to be gay because he was autistic

They later change their minds after Logan compiled a shit ton of research and created numerous well-crafted arguments

At the same time, to them “changing their minds” is more “Well I guess my son says he’s gay so,, guess I’ll accept that even though I don’t think he can be.”

Being polyamorous (and bi) went a similar way

Logan actually dated someone else before Roman and Virgil but at the same time as Patton

He tried mentioning this to his family, but because he was dating a girl as well as a boy, Patton got brushed off as a “good friend”

After Logan and the girl broke up, Patton got bumped up to “boyfriend” in their minds

When Logan started dating Patton, Virgil, and Roman he decided not to tell his parents at first because of this

When he did tell them, it went pretty similar as last time, with Patton being seen as his boyfriend and Virgil and Roman being “close friends”

When they get engaged his parents just sorta,, ignore the fact that it’s four of them in a relationship

After Exothermic, things start to change a bit more

His parents start to refer to all of his spouses as his “partners” but specifically avoid using any terms like “spouses” bc it makes them uncomfortable and they only half try to understand

Neither Logan nor his spouses mind the term “partner” but the reason Logan’s parents use it does bug them

It’s pretty much just permanently uneasy in that way