#ask bfs

Hey bestie!

I am so thrilled to hear that this blog has been beneficial for you 🥹 this is why I do this! Exciting times lie ahead as you explore to find your identity throughout womanhood.

Since you're interested in makeup, I believe a natural everyday style and a soft glam look would suit you well.

I'm not sure if you wax or pluck your eyebrows, but shaping them is essential for a nice makeup appearance and your overall facial structure. Start there. Get an eyebrow pencil or even brow gel.

Try getting a tinted moisturizer or face tint, I recommend Fenty beauty “Eaze Drop” (click here) for an even blurring skin tone.

If you are afraid of the tinted moisturizer you can always use concealer for a “no make up, makeup look” just do some research on your tube to see if that’s a good alternative for you.

Please be sure to get items that work well with your skin type (oily, acne prone, dry or combination)

Then invest in a good bronzer, to warm up your face and for a subtle contoured look, it won’t be as intense as using a contour concealer but it will bring definition to your face after the skin tint or moisturizer.

On days when you want spice it up, get a nice blush that fits your skin tone we did a post on the power of blush here ☺️

Also, a subtle highlight is always a good idea, any one of your choices should be good just make sure to add it on the right parts of your cheekbones. (YouTube and TikTok videos can help)

After, invest in a good mascara, my favorite drug store brand is L’Oréal Sky High (here) and ‘Telescopic’ (here)

For the lips, a nice clear gloss is a good start! If you want to spice it up somedays get a nude sheer gloss and a brown lip liner.

As for fashion,

We have ways to elevate your looks too! Heres our spring lookbook here and we also have great inspo on our instagram

how do I let this brick wall up around my heart down?

Idk when I built it and now that I have kids I wanna teach my son and daughter how to be authentic and vulnerable in relationships and accept themselves and their emotions…

I also want to teach myself this.. where do I start?

Hi love!

First, Thanks for confiding in BFS. This is a safe place for you.

You answered your own question regarding how you built up that wall, the surroundings you were raised in put you in survival mode.

I don’t know if you have escaped this violent environment yet but if you haven’t I would come up with a long term plan to get out. Don’t get overwhelmed, but start planning your exit strategy now.

Heres the thing about survival mode, although it builds discernment — the good news is you don’t have to stay in it! The older you get it becomes a choice.

Start with the inner work,

I would start with therapy and guided journaling! I know that this may seem cliche but think of it this way. It’s your first revolutionary step to self-care not only for you but for your babies! 🩷

The answer is to HEAL.

You deserve to feel soft and happy. Journaling allows you to release and identify the blocks, triggers and emotional responses you’ve experienced in survival mode. I don’t know if you seen the follow up post for that poll but there are some journal prompts that you can use to start this. (Click here)

I want to congratulate you on recognizing and desiring this for yourself; this is a significant achievement! You did what most people won’t do: reflect honestly and strive for more. 🏆

The future you want is based on the work you decide to do right now so pour into your self care, first inner and then outer.

If you need any support, guidance or to just talk to like-minded, generational curse breaking, black women on the same journey as you join our virtual sisterhood community while it’s free!

Download discord, accept the invite below and come connect with us!

Hey bestie,

My honest opinion is to stop chasing and detach, I know this is hard I had to do this, it is necessary for your mental health and happiness. The push-pull cycle is like a dopamine hit for you but it’s damaging your self worth and perception of who you are in general. You have to pull back and choose yourself every single day.

If you have access to therapy please take advantage of the resources. You should also study neuroplasticity and just rewiring your brain and self talk in general.

Moral of the story: you have to choose yourself.

And you can do it!

I was told that I might have to start wearing wigs and fake hair over my locs because they aren’t suitable for professional instances, but I never thought of my hair as anything but, well, my hair!

Locs are absolutely elegant my love 😍

Please don’t conform to societal norms when it comes to black hair! We are the originators of style, uniqueness and beauty. I am going to do a deep dive into microaggressions against black women and our hair especially in the work environment. I feel like the number one reason is intimidation. We are the show. Period.

When I see a woman with locs, it's show-stopping; she runs the room, and there are so many different ways to style them.

Look at Halle and Chloë Bailey for instance. They do a great job of showing the beauty and elegance of Locs.

My only tip will be maintence.

Hey love!

Sound like he’s playing cat and mouse with your feelings. Don’t engage with childish behaviors. Just do you. Focus on yourself and your goals, pour into yourself. You’ll build self confidence and reassurance! It’ll save you from a lot of hurt in the long run !

Your besties,

Hey Bestie!

You are not alone, there are a lot of woman who feel that same urge. You’re human, and we are social creatures. Our question to you is what void are trying to fill? Loneliness, intimacy, support, validation, FOMO, etc? It’s also influenced by societal expectations, personal experiences, and emotional needs.

Sit with yourself and be honest.

Once you figure out why you have the urge to get into a relationship you can work on ways to fill that void without having to tie yourself to a relationship (specially if you don’t want to settle down) if you want to date to see what you like and don’t like that’s okay as well! Just be honest with yourself and make sure your values, boundaries, and self love is a priority.

I'm just ranting. I'm sorry, I just feel bad for my favorite content creator.

People using other people for fame then finding any opportunity to ditch them, it just both bothers me and disappoints me. I hate when people who claim that they are your friends, are willing to use you for fame and then once they get what they want, they will try to find a way to abandon them.

I genuinely hate that. Am I wrong? Because I've seen content creators that have done way worse than what this person did.

Hey Bestie! Thank you for confiding in us 🫶🏽🫶🏾🫶🏿

First lets address that your feelings are vaild babe, and honestly cancel culture is a JOKE!

Pray for your favorite content creators peace of mind, the internet can be a lot to handle and people do not understand empathy or boundaries on here. Pray for the mental well-being of your favorite content creators; the online world can be overwhelming, and many individuals lack empathy or respect for boundaries. They often assert that once something is made public, it’s tied to freedom of expression.

As for the flaky friends 😒 this is a lesson that this creator needs to go through and learn, clout is a hell of a drug and people will use you for their benefit and throw you away when they no longer need you for it.

If you still want to support this creator then it’s within your right to do so.

Hope this helps!