Hyper Mistake ~ Ask Drabble
A lil drabs based off a load of awesomly hilarious ask convos between myself, @strawberryxoxxo and my beautiful Wilford Warfstache anon (aka my sweetpea) so LET’S BEGIN!
There was a very good reason why people didn't give Wilford Warfstache candy....I was leaning this the harder way, after my grave mistake of providing said bombastic man with...a lot, of cotton candy.
'MMMMM HYPER WARFSTACHE ENGAGED!'
I sighed as the moustached man guzzled at the candy like a ravenous beast, I turned to my friend Strawbs who only rolled her eyes with a gentle grin.
'It's....slightly adorable.'
I commented which made her snicker lightly, I turned to her with a light smirk.
Her expression slackened and she fixed me with a glare, tilting her head up with an air of certain sophistication.
'I am no such thing and you fucking know it.'
I grinned and folded my arms in a mockery of her stance.
'Oh really? Well I firmly believe that you're a straight up cutie!'
She gritted her teeth firmly, trying to press her lips into a thin line as she continued to deny my truth. Which was the truth, even if she couldn't quite see it. She glowered with a miniscule grin.
'Well I can assure you that I am very much the opposite, I am the definition of an asshole!'
Strawbs smiled widely as she spread her arms out to her sides, I opened my mouth in order to reply....but a raucious interruption prevented that.
'CUTIE BOOTY MAKES ME HOOTY EVEN THOUGH I AIN'T TRYIN TO BE RUUUDEY!'
I giggled at Wilford's beautifully imaginitive song, I even confess to doing a little jig as a result. Strawbs and I both looked to the giddy man who was boucing and laughing in childish glee.
Strawbs tried to yell but his...beautiful? singing meant she couldn't be heard, she grumbled as Wilford approached us with a wide grin; I gave his cheek a light pat.
He flushed slightly, his voice in a permanantly exclaimatory pitch.
'I AM NOT A CUTIE! SHE'S THE CUTE CUTE CUTIE CUTIE CUTE!'
Strawbs bristled again as Wilford giggled heavily next to us, his lips coated in a thin pink sheen from the cotton candy; which ironically also matched his moustache. I turned to her.
'C'mon, anyone with strawberry in their name is TOTALLY cute!'
Her eyes narrowed, but we both jumped when Wilford seemed to make a noise of....realisation?
'OOOOOH! YOU KNOW WHAT GOES GREAT WITH STRAWBERRIES? RASPBERRIES! RASPBERRIES ALL ROUND!!!'
Strawbs and I shared a panicked glance before we tried to bolt away....but it was too late. By some...voodoo shit probably, Wilford had started unleashing raspberries upon both of us. They reached our tummies, necks...basically everywhere. We were both caught in fits of laughter as I turned to our tormentor.
'WHAHAT THE HEHELL?! GEHET HEHER NOHOT ME TOHOHO!!'
Wilford shrugged nochalantly but I swear I caught a hint of deviance cross his features as he called out.
'I CAN'T CONTROL THEM! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE RASPBERRIES!!!'
I yelped and laughed more, I turned to look for my companion who....had escaped the raspberries. Strawbs stood to the side slightly breathlessly, she smiled and gave me a small salute.
'Sorry buddy but I'm outta here!'
My eyes widened as I turned to Wilford, who was slightly in shock.
'Wha-how did she? Huh....well LOOKS LIKE I'VE ONLY GOTTA FOCUS EM ON ONE PERSON!'
I screeched as the full onslaught of raspberries rained down upon me, I called out to the only person who could possibly save me.
'DOHOHON'T LEHEHEAVE MEHEHE STRAHAHAWBS!'
It seemed that my prayers were answered because almost immediatly, a strong arm wrenched me away from the tickly onslaught. I gasped as I looked up at my fruity saviour, she smiled gently.
'I couldn't abandon you buddy.'
I smiled as I caught my breath back.
She soon schooled her features, a determined twinkle present in her eye as she spoke.
'I hope you realise that I still adamantly deny being cute.'
I sighed, I knew deep down it would take a lot more energy that I currently possessed to try and convince her further.
'Fine, but that won't stop me from seeing you that way.'
She sighed through her nose before her lips spread into a resigned smile.
I grinned, and it was only then we both noticed the rather large silence that engulfed our surroundings. We turned and snickered at the sight of Wilford, passed out from the come down of his sugar coma. I chucked a blanket on him and pecked his forehead before strolling away with my fruity buddy....we both agreed that this would be quite a story.