#asjdhasd

January: Miners is one of my fav poems ever--I think I did it some justice. Owen swapped the poem’s meaning from the mine collapse to the war-dead but both apply to Nol so it works perfectly. Fake lighting is rough but I learned a rly efficient (if layer-heavy) technique for it here.

February (one / two): I had to pick two here since both of them always stayed with me. I think the image speaks volumes of them with Nol violently ripping apart these grimy shells while Elliot’s sitting on needles with a dainty white box of pastries. For the second, I know I pick on Nol a lot, but this was one of the key turning points for him. And I used to obsess over his breath--I still do tbh--but here’s where that motif came back in full force.

March: I wanted to make smth soft after Feb’s dark contrast, and Keats gives me the best excuses tbh. At this point, I was really into giving white strokes and painting shadows onto my edits bc art nouveau is such a mood. I think this is also when I started lightening up abt just representing Nol and Eli’s romantic relationship on my blog. I still get nervous abt sharing but I think my best work still comes from them together.

April: I honestly had way too much fun writing this and I still have leftover purple prose lines sitting in my drafts from it. I’d forgotten how to write them until this prompt woke the skill back up in me. Tbh I still go back to it when I need to remember. Also rivi wrote me this in return and I’m p sure cry everyday abt it bc her writing is so beautiful

May: Fam I love this song sm. I rushed to finish this edit and then revisited it a few months ago to adjust the blur n such. It’s probably the most complicated thing I’ve ever edited. The lyrics fit so well with how Nolanel just vice-grips things to hold himself together, so I put the dragoon for war, Elliot for Elliot lol, and the flag/rosary for faith and country. Each of these things conflict and form the core of his struggle as a person.

June: I think smth possessed me when I made this--I started with no idea where I was going and suddenly I had this really beautiful sprawl of light and dark. I think Sae is really fascinating and complex n im glad I got to know the rad person behind her more this year!

July: I spent several days on this and the whole thing is a blur in my memory. I put Nol on the altar on purpose since he’s the more “holy” of the two/has done less wrong, but mostly since he’s the one who gets the most out of these moments away from the world. Elliot still has outside thoughts n he’s not as relaxed, but Nol’s hand on him is kind of all the reassurance he needs. I gotta finish editing the whole album one of these days, too.

August (one / two): I think both of these give a brief impression so I picked them. The one about the rosary I find impactful and genuinely cold--I used to get censured by classmates for being too dramatic in the emotional sense (at this point, too bad). As for the second, I was really not feeling well around that time, and finding The Heart’s Journey in school rly got me out of it for a few hours. I think the edits themselves are a bit awkward but I’m fond of the composition anyway and of what I tried to make.

September (one / two): I barely ever think of Elliot younger than seventeen, so fourteen yo Eli crashing into my thoughts w a Calamity flashback was such a sucker-punch. I’m so in love with his rashness and with Jos at the end. As for the edit, it recreated by accident the everybody-cry-on-the-floor (idk if this is mood or goals) pose when Nol proposes--I still dislike the scene but I felt a little better abt it after this (slapping a Pogany heart into it helped)

October: can i just AAAAAAAAAAAAA abt this bc that’s my author’s note (i failed writing smth happy w no strings attached but it reveals some rly intense n important parts and issues in their relationship that i rly loved expressing finally)

November: (one / two) OK i had to pick two from this month because these go together for Armistice Day. It takes within 2 seconds of knowing me to learn that 99% of my braincase is filled w thoughts on war poetry n war culture, etc, will smith poses at my like 8 soldier characters. I still think of Nol as a ltn so it was really cool to approach some of his interaction w his company as a loveable? mob.