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Sinkulalla asioilla
Kävin hoitamassa asioita ja tekemässä pikku lenkuran rupisinkulalla. Tarkoitus oli jyystää peekoota mutta se on niin raskas polkea, että meinasi mennä vähän kovilla tehoilla...
Jossain tienoilla Sarankulma - Peltolammi - Vuores - Hervanta - Turtola ajelin näin:
https://connect.garmin.com/modern/activity/721857221
Laitetaas kuva pyörästä kun se oli vielä rakennusvaiheessa...
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i finally got my own copy of「」ｙｉｎｇ & ｙａｎｇ and let me tell u i love it but screw everybody i won’t share it w/ u guys it was hella expensive sry
I feel like babbling about things
1. my passion for make up has raised its head again. And that’s really nice and I’ve missed it, except! it tends to become quite expensive in the end.. Luckily I already missed most of the summer sales thank god not elf’s unfortunately, but they’re really cheap anyways but still I have also cured myself of my nail polish hoarding addiction praise all the deities (i have no idea how i did this)
I also made really nice make up yesterday and my eyeshadows went really well and I realised things about my eye shape. I also tested my new lipstick (Ruby Woo) and I love it, but it’s really dry so it’s kind of hard to apply but then again it lasts really well too. I’m kind of struggling with my eyebrown’s shape now and I should trim them but I’m afraid I’ll trim them too much…
2. I’m missing school (kinda?), it brings structure to my life and I feel like I need that and routines to my life after so long summer vacation without summer job too.. I hope that this time around I can be little more appreciating about routines and such and be more thankful that I have place to study and a small job
3!!! Oh YEAH, I got a small side job! I’ll be cleaning and such couple times a week. It’s not going to be very well paid, but the boss understands students schedules and the work is when it’s possible for the workers, so I’m really lucky to get a job like this. I hope I have energy to do this and study, so I don’t need to quit the job…
4. I want to read so many books and I have so many unfinished too. It’s like all the time I find a new book I’d want to read: The Diary of a Young Girl/The Diary of Anne Frank, Lolita, all Moomin books, The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Girl with a Pearl Earring, The Woman in Black…..
5!! Fall, fall is coming! At least in my mind.. I’m carving for my fall things: deeper shaded clothing, earl grey, cinnamon&apples, Victorian era inspired things, listening Abney Park… I miss cold and cardigans and leaves and grey days with cold light, drinking warm drinks without overheating after… Pies, layers of clothing, warm hats, beanies and scarves. Halloween!! The colour of the light that’s unique to fall… I’ll make pumpkin pie this fall!!!
6. I’m kinda having a crisis with my style… Not in a bad way!! Just sifting, like I do time to time (when seasons change and top of that A Great Style Sift that comes once in couple years for me it seems), this is more of a seasonal sift though… I can’t decide… Kinda I want to be pastels and all cute things and kinda I want dark, deep jewel colours like emerald and ruby and elegant materials, and satin and black lace and Victorian influences and modern witch looks…. ASDFGH I want both and it kind of fills my head and jumbles it and and…. My mind just feels kinda too full of inspirations for style and looks, like overflowing glass… So I end up looking dull and boring cause I can’t focus, but I’ll wait for season to change and weather to become little colder and those things will make this easier to figure out. Now is good time to practice patience! ^_^
7. Game of Thrones! I NEED A DVD! Or something that’s better quality than streams and with subs… I should probably download it from somewhere but I have no idea where….
I have babbled.
What have I done all this time?!
Today something strange happened again. Let's start from the very beginning:
I've told you about Henkka. But as I said, He is my father figure. And he has helped me so much. I rarely cry tears of joy, and every joyful tear on my cheek has been there while thinking him. He's important to me.
It's been about 2-3 months from my confirmation. After that I was happier than ever. It was amazing and all I was doing was rambling around and being happy. I don't really know what happened but then suddenly I was so afraid to go to church and see other teenagers there. So every day I came home and was only sighing and forgetting everything. And I really forgot everything. Everything. I really forgot there was a God or my faith. I forgot church. EVERYTHING. I knew today other teenagers from my church were going to the city and do thing, and in the end going to meet Henkka in his new workplace. So that actually was the reason why I went there too. And it was wonderful to meet other lovely people from our church too! But after being this sad and outcast I just wanted someone to make me feel better. I sound really selfish. But this was the way I knew would make me feel better. So at last when we went to Agricola's church. And first I thought it would be a normal worship or something. But I actually didn't remember how being in church made me feel so amazingly different. And when it was time to pray, although I was so scared and shy I just went next to Henkka and kneel down. He asked me what do I want to pray for. I felt so odd, and I just kinda huffed "I don't know, just something to make me manage all this". So he put his hand on my shoulder and started to pray for me. I listened and wandered through my thoughts. Suddenly I had this huge flashback and I just remembered everything. Tears started to drain on my cheeks and I was not able to stop. I realized they were tears of happiness. Again. How did I forgot anything like this? What kind of person I am? And I realized something more. I thought about how other people have been like face to face with God and their stories. Some has met God while watching candles, some while sleeping. I realized that I kinda have met God, and Henkka is this incredible thing between us. Henkka has conveyed everything that God has wanted to say or give me, to me. Henkka might not know how much he has done, but it's more than enough. I REMEMBER AGAIN! And I feel happy and free again.
Something about Trypophobia
Life with “real” Trypophobia is hard. I know people who says they have Trypophobia only because they saw one picture containing holes on skin (or something odd like that), and it was disgusting. I think it’s normal reaction, cause it unusual. But have they had Trypophobia for their whole life?
I have, and even seeing holes or tiny bugs eggs or deep scratches makes me shaky, dazed and it’s near I may also faint. I can’t get any sleep after seeing those holes. And why do I have this phobia? Trauma gave it to me.
So you who says you have trypophobia after seeing those disgusting pictures, remember, they are manipulated and unusual. Finding them disgusting is regular for anyone.
Think it again; are you going to faint or puke if you see thick holes on the paper or on the ground? It’s not Trypophobia being scared only one certain kind of pictures, for example containing holes on skin. “Real” Trypophobia really can make you shake, fall, puke, anxious or dazed, take your sleep away, and even faint. So please think again, cause I’m tired of hearing those comments.
Thank you.
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inspiraatio
Aamupäivän kuulaus. Jäinen syysilma puskee ekan kerroksen kämppään. Se tunkeutuu sieraimiin ja turvottaa silmät. Rinta on rakkaudesta kylläinen.
Juon teetä. Olen vihdoinkin siinä: etäällä.
Näen alakulon yli pitkälle, pitkälle.
Lintuja, tiimalaseja, höyhensulkakyniä, appelsiinin lohkoja, viuhkoja, maljakkoja, pelikortteja, tikkatauluja, veistoksia, jäälevyjä, kaukoputkia, satelliitteja, vaahteran lehtiä, likööripulloja, tähtiä, sydämiä, banaanin kuoria, avattuja kirjoja, taskukelloja, säästöpossuja, tekoviiksiä, aurinkohattuja, kirsikoita, käsilaukkuja, siveltimiä, avaimia, lehmänkelloja, rintakoruja, punaisia busseja......
En saanut viestiä
lalalalalala
ihan sama. Pitäis varmaan nukkua myös
