#asexual?

Idk what I'm talking about because im genuinely not cut out for casual sex. The idea of being intimate with someone who hasn't devoted themselves to me and only me and will one day be my wife- is like genuiely heart wrenching. Like no you cannot see my boobs and I don't even know you tf? And honestly how dare you touch me so sensually and then do the same thing to someone else??? Goodbye. How DARE you touch me before we can comfortably say "i love you"??? It genuinely makes my skin crawl like I feel so disgusted by the idea of it that it triggers my anxiety at times. And thats not to say I'm anti-sex because I'm not- in fact I love when people, especially non-men, have sex freely...but I cannot....

You know I think I'm asexual sometimes (but not aroace). Might explain why I write couples like "tee-hee they are so in love. They *kiss* and they *snuggle*, they *risk their lives for eachother*" and then step back and, "Well, I guess they probably have sex too? IDK. Not important."

okay so like I never had the “I’m broken” when I figured out I was asexual I was just like “y’all are weird for wanting to be freaky” and left it at that