#asexual!bruce

2. Tony is eager to help his friend finding a partner. Sadly, Tony’s many friends are... not really... a good fit for a shy, introverted scientist like Bruce. Which means lots of dates going south quickly.

“After two months of going out with a different woman each night, Bruce was tired and discouraged and the dates seemed to be going worse and worse. He felt further away from ever having a long-term girlfriend than when Abigail had broken up with him.”

3. Tony insists Natasha is the girl perfect for him. Bruce is skeptical, but he agrees on one last date - if Tony promises that no more will follow.

“She took his hand with a smile and slid into her seat. “Well, this is nice. When I heard you were friends with Stark, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Some ridiculous pickup line, probably.”

Bruce winced. “First of all, I’d like to apologize for whatever crass and inappropriate comments he made to you because I know he won’t. I swear, he’s not a bad guy, he just doesn’t always think before he opens his mouth.”

She waved him off. “I’ve heard worse. And he certainly handled rejection well. I’ve never seen anyone so excited to be turned down before.””

4. The date continues, and it goes wonderful...

“She grimaced and wrinkled her nose. “That’s not my fault. There is just way too much whipped cream on this thing.”

“I don’t know. I think it takes a special kind of talent to get it way up on your nose.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She dabbed a small bit of cream on his nose. “See? Easy.”

His eyes narrowed. “Oh, is that how it is?” He reached over to smear a line down her cheek.

Natasha chuckled darkly. “Oh, now you’ve done it. This means war.”

Bruce had never participated in any food fights in elementary or high school. He was far too serious a student and too worried about the possibility of getting in trouble. But if this was how those fights had been in school, then he had clearly been missing out.”

5. Two years later...

“Not for the first time, he wished they had eloped after all. He couldn’t wait to be a married man and spend the rest of his life with Natasha, but actually getting married was more stressful than he had expected.

(...)

She was so beautiful in her strapless, cream-colored gown, her hair long and free flowing over her shoulders, and her smile blindingly radiant.

Bruce forgot to be nervous.

He didn’t pay attention to most of the ceremony. He focused on Natasha and his body went along on autopilot. Somehow he stayed upright and conscious, said all the right words at the right time, and when the minister pronounced them husband and wife, he leaned in for a gentle, chaste kiss.”

“Hey.” Steve lowered his voice and came closer, golden wings reaching out until they touched Bucky's arms. “It's fine, Bucky. You don't have to apologize. To be honest, I'm impressed you are as calm as you are with this whole thing. You snapping at me every once in while is not a problem. I just forget, sometimes. I forget that you still can't be up close and personal with Tony very much. You've been doing so well with the team and with not running away every time you see Tony, and I forget. I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault.” Bucky mumbled, dropping his head to Steve’s shoulder and letting the other Omega hold him. “I know I've got to get over this whole thing.”

“At your own pace.” Steve kissed his head. “Not gonna rush you, Buck. You've stopped leaving the room every time Tony walks in and that's huge. We don't need to jump right into you letting him work on your arm. One step at a time.”

“Thank you.” Bucky pressed closer, and they both flinched when his left arm seized up, tightening further.

“Go see Bruce.” Steve urged. “He can fix it no problem. He’s nice, right? You and him are comfortable around each other? And he’s very easy to talk to. Even Natasha talks to him when she gets in one of her scary moods, and that's saying something. He’ll make sure you're relaxed while working on it.”

“I like Bruce.” Bucky admitted. “He doesn't scent like an Alpha or a Beta or anything. It's kind of comforting.”

“See there?” Steve ran his fingers through Bucky's wet hair. “Why don't you go see him in the lab? There’s a couch down there and everything. You can just sit and hang out while he works if you want. Just anything to get you socializing the littlest bit, Bucky. And if you are comfortable enough to let him work on your arm then that's good too. I know you don't want to go to a doctor or anything like that, but sitting alone in this room hurting isn’t going to do you any favors. And I want you to get better.”

“I want to get better too.” Bucky muttered and Steve tilted his chin up.

“So you’re going to go see Bruce?” Bucky swallowed and nodded, so Steve kissed his forehead. “Thank you. I'll see you later tonight, okay?

“Sure thing, Stevie.”

*****************

*****************

The lab smelled like Alpha, and that was enough to almost send Bucky back into the elevator and up to their room. In fact, if his arm didn't hurt so damn much, he never would have taken this step.

But Bruce had told him when they first met, and a few times after, that he would be happy to help with the arm if Bucky wanted him to-- and right now it hurt so badly that Bucky couldn't even unbend the elbow, so he didn't have much a choice.

But god the Alpha smell was everywhere and Bucky thought he would panic just stepping through the doors.

“Bucky!” Bruce looked up from his table with a friendly smile and Bucky relaxed a fraction. “Come in, Steve told me you would be coming down!” he noticed Bucky's hesitation-- the way his wings were drawn up defensively, his eyes wide, and sighed. “Tony isn’t here, Bucky. He won't be back at the Tower until later tonight, it's just you and I.”

Bucky relaxed a fraction more, his wings lowering knowing that the Alpha wasn't anywhere close. “Sorry.” he said quietly, seeing Bruce’s sad look. “I have a hard time with--”

“You don't have to explain.” Bruce shook his head quickly. “One of the beauties of living here is that we all have our own baggage to worry about, so we can't spend any time judging anyone else for their stuff.”

“Thanks.” Bucky smiled awkwardly and let his wings drop more, tucking them behind his back and holding his left arm carefully. “So. Um--”

“Come here and sit.” Bruce motioned to a chair close to him. “I am working on schematics for an upgrade to one of our helicopters. It's boring stuff, but I wouldn't mind some company.”

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence for several minutes, Bruce muttering to himself as he worked, Bucky taking the chance to look over the impressive lab.

It was huge, taking up the entire bottom floor of the tower, and there were tables and gadgets and computers and screens as far as he could see, as well as fancy cars, rows and rows of weaponry and a completely out of place display case with nearly a hundred pairs of sunglasses on it.

Bucky blinked at the sunglasses in confusion. What kind of Alpha hoarded sunglasses?

“So you’re a genius. Is that why you are on the team? Why you live...here?” Bucky asked after several more minutes of silence. “Or is there another reason?”

“Tell me what you smell when you are near me.” Bruce said as an answer without even looking up. “Do I scent like an Alpha? Or a Beta?”

Bucky leaned in the tiniest bit and took a deep breath. “I don't scent… anything.” he admitted. “You don't scent like an Alpha, or a Beta and certainly not an Omega. There’s just something… different.”

“It's my mutation.” Bruce took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes before replacing them, staring down at the computer screen in frustration. “My Hulk. He cancels out everything about my secondary biology, even though technically speaking, he is an Alpha.”

“Your Hulk?” Bucky repeated. “Who is your Hulk? Will I meet him?”

“You already have.” Bruce said mildly. “Remember Hamburg? Hulk was the big green thing that put you through about four feet of concrete.”

Bucky jerked in his seat, the memory of a fight nearly eight months prior swamping him. The Avengers had come out of nowhere it seemed, led by Captain America-- he hadn't known it was Steve then-- and followed by some horrifying beast that had stopped Bucky in his tracks. Winter Soldier training and skills didn't stand a chance against the raw power of Hulk, and it had been one of the only times Bucky had thought he would die as the Soldier.

“I remember.” He said slowly. “That-- that’s you.”

“When I'm angry.” Bruce finally figured out whatever it was stumping him, and his fingers moved faster over the keyboard now. “Because of my mutation, because of my Hulk, people avoid me. It isn’t right for me to not scent as anything, and of course the threat of me ‘hulking out’, as the team so nicely puts it, is enough to keep anyone from wanting to get too close to me.”

“Okay…” Bucky tilted his head. “So--”

“So I live here, because Tony was the first person to look me in the eye and see me as a genius with an anger management problem. Everyone else looked at me and saw me as a monster or an animal or a weapon first, and then agreed that if I wasn't turning green, perhaps my brain was good for something as well.”

Bruce made a quick motion with his hands, and whatever had been on the computer screen shot to the center of the room as a 3D hologram.

“So Tony.” Bruce continued, sounded distracted as he circled the hologram, pulling pieces out at random and tossing them into a holographic trash can. “Tony invited me to live here, told me that my mind was something irreplaceable, and that he was tired of living alone. To which Pepper promptly smacked him, because she lives here too, of course.” Another image tossed in the trash. “I asked him what sort of Hulk proof measures he had taken, and he said none, that he wanted Bruce Banner living here and the Hulk could sleep in the basement.”

“That seems terrible.” Bucky interjected and Bruce smiled fondly.

“Tony remade the basement into an apartment for me. He dug another ten feet deeper into the ground to give me room, reinforced every piece of furniture and keeps it stocked with food and drink so anytime I am feeling less than perfectly in control, I have a safe place to retreat to.”

“So you live here because---”

“I live here because our Alpha saw me, not my past or my problems or what issues I might cause in the future.”

“Oh.” Bucky frowned and pulled his wings a little tighter around his body. “And you consider him your Alpha, too. Even though you aren't um… you aren’t --”

“I'm not anything.” Bruce said with an easy shrug, and he moved into the hologram, bringing pieces closer together until it started resembling a helicopter. “I have no secondary biology, and so many years being afraid of losing control and accidentally hulking out has destroyed any of my other… drives.”

“So if you aren't--” Bucky made an uncomfortable motion. “Why would you claim an Alpha? You don't have to, so why would you? If you are--” he didn't know how to say what he was trying to say and just spread his hand uncertainly.

“I would think the technical term you are looking for is asexual.” Bruce informed him. “I have no interest in anything like that. Even before my mutation, I was fairly uninterested in sex, and afterwards-- even if I was interested, no one would come anywhere near me. It was a relief. One less thing to be worried about. And really if I'm being honest, even being touched is too much for me sometimes. I spend so much time constantly making sure that my emotions are completely level, that I am under control, avoiding anything that would cause a rush of emotion in other people-- physical contact, sex, all that sort of thing-- It's just easier to avoid it, and I've found that I don't miss it.  I suppose I don't know if that makes me actually asexual, but it certainly the easiest way to explain how I am.”

“Tony as my Alpha has nothing to do with anything sexual. It's more because--” Bruce stepped out of the hologram and studied it from a distance. “I claim Tony as my Alpha because I can, because he does everything in his power to take care of me and provide for me, just like a good Alpha should. I can have all the reassurance and safety of an alpha without feeling pressured into the sexual aspect of it, which is amazing for someone like me.”

“So what does he get out of it? If there is no sex?” Bucky demanded, knowing the words sounded harsh, and not caring.

Bruce turned from the 3D image completely, folding his arms and leveling Bucky with a disapproving look. “Tony and I have a loving and respectful relationship where we bond over all this. And that's enough for us. Not all Alphas think sex is owed to them because they take care of you.”

Bucky stared right back at him. “I really doubt that.”

“It makes me really sad that you have been given reasons to think that way.” Bruce said softly, and Bucky blinked a few times before looking away, drawing his wings back around his body.

Bruce thought he could be sick, seeing the wounded look in Bucky's eyes.

*****************

*****************

“Your arm hurts you.” Bruce mentioned nearly an hour later. “The left one. Your left wing hangs lower as well because of the added strain. You came down for me to look at it, right? You could have said something right away.”

“It hurts.” Bucky flinched as he tried to move it. “Can't unbend my elbow.”

“Why didn't you say something earlier?” Bruce sounded upset. “If you’ve been sitting here hurting?”

“It was nice to just talk.” Bucky admitted and smiled when Bruce did. “I guess I forgot for a minute.”

“Well come here.” Bruce motioned him over to the desk. “I won't know how much I can do until I can get a good look at it, so let’s start with that, alright.”

“Um---” Bucky hesitated before moving and Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“Do you trust me, Bucky? Trust me not to hurt you?”

Bucky nodded quickly, then looked surprised at himself. “I do. I do trust you. I didn't think I would.”

“I'm glad to hear it.” Bruce motioned him over again. “We are family here, Bucky. I know you are still feeling new and uncertain, but in time you’ll see how good it can be. There’s not a person under this roof that would hurt you.”

Bucky didn't answer, just set his arm stiffly on the metal table, trying to cover his flinch when Bruce reached for him.

“Hey.” Bruce caught his eye. “I'm not going to sedate you, or tranquilize you, or strap you down, alright? We will just be sitting here together, talking, while I look over this for you.”

“Thank you.” Bucky said quietly. “I'm sorry about-- I'm just not used to--”

“You don't have to explain.” Bruce assured him and reached for the desk light and several small tools. “We all have our triggers, you just let me know if I'm getting close to one of yours.”

“Thank you.” Bucky said again, trying to force himself to relax as Bruce leaned over his arm, running his fingers lightly over the tight plates, making notes on a piece of paper as he went. “You’re easier to talk to than I thought you would be. I feel like this is the most I've talked in…” his voice trailed off.

“Yes, well.” Bruce didn't comment on whatever Bucky didn't say, and tapped at the elbow joint of the arm, glancing up to make sure it didn't hurt him. “I've heard that when I'm not hulking out I am actually a pleasant, calming presence. Imagine that, right?”

Bucky smiled, and Bruce winked when he caught it. “Alright. Lets see what I can do here.”

**************

**************

Steve came down to the lab hours later looking for Bucky, but stopped just outside the door when he saw them sitting together, Bruce looking like he was maybe cleaning the joints in Bucky's fingers, and Bucky looking as closed to relaxed as Steve had ever seen him.

He thought about interrupting, but then Bruce said something quiet, and Bucky smiled, and Steve put a hand to his heart because he couldn't remember the last time Bucky had really smiled like that.

So he turned and left, asking JARVIS on the way up the stairs to alert him when Bucky left the lab, and went to take a shower.

Back in the lab, Bruce had managed to unlock Bucky's elbow and now was meticulously swabbing between Bucky's fingers, cleaning the metal as best he could without actually taking it apart.

“You wanted to know why we are all here?” he asked and Bucky nodded slowly. “We are all here because we are all a little ruined.” Bruce reached for another swab, biting his lip in concentration. “Everyone of us has something in our past that haunts us, or something we have done that brands us a monster, something that sets us apart from the rest of the world. We are all a little broken. But our Alpha-- Tony-- took all our broken edges and fit them all together somehow, and now we all have a place to call home, and people to call family, and soft beds to sleep in and food to eat, and someone who is happy to see us every single day.”

Bruce set down his tools, switching off the lamp and cracking his knuckles after hours of working. “I know you’ve noticed I don’t have wings. I used to. Just beautiful feathers in about a hundred shades of grey. Some were almost white, others were almost black, some looked silver.” He shrugged. “When my Hulk made an appearance, my wings ripped off my body. Couldn’t handle the mutation. The Hulk took... took everything from me. My family, my life, my career, my--my wings.” his voice caught and Bucky watched him closely. 

“So.” Bruce cleared his throat. “We are all different levels of damaged, different levels of bruised and marred and yeah, we are all a little broken. But we are all a little less broken when we are here. Tony keeps us together. Our Alpha makes us whole.”

Bucky stared down at his hand and then up at Bruce. “I'd like to be less broken.” he whispered. “I just don't know how to get there.”

“One step at a time.” Bruce said quietly. “And if you ask, our Alpha will meet you wherever you are to help you find your way home.”

“Yeah?” Buck asked and Bruce nodded firmly.

“I promise.”