#aseuraii

“What else would I have done, Bones?” Jim’s gaze stayed locked on the fire, trying to coax it a little higher to ward off the cold.

“You could have gotten the hell out of Dodge when you still had a chance.” Bones sighed as Jim shrugged.

“I wasn’t just going to leave you there, Bones. You’re my best friend. End of story.”

It wasn’t really. They kept skittering around the edges of the conversion. Bones had been willing to take the end of the world with open arms. He had never been the kind of man who was willing to be saved. He had always pitted himself against the world, refusing help until he was bleeding out and too exhausted to take another step. It was part of why he and Jim drifted apart. Bones still wasn’t sure why Jim had come back from him. A forty-five minute drive at the end of the world to bring him to a man he hadn’t called friend in two years.

“Two years a long time, kid. Maybe not as long as this year has been, but still a long time. For all you knew I didn’t even live there anymore.”

A dry laugh broke over Jim’s lips. “You, move? I think I would have died of shock if you hadn’t been there, old man.”

They lapsed back into silence. The cracking and popping of the fire set Bones’ teeth on edge and before long he was pushing again. “Jim...I’m really asking this time.”

He could just barely make out Jim’s jaw tensing in the low light. Finally, Jim dropped the stick he had been poking at the fire with and turned to look Bones in the eye.

“I was selfish,” he admitted. “The idea of having to live out whatever time I had left alone scared the absolute shit out of me. You were the only person that came to mind that I wanted around. It was find you or die trying and when the seas were boiling it didn’t seem like too bad an option.”

“Me or die? That...had to be a long shot didn’t it?”

With a sigh Jim stood up and went to the one small pack they had managed to keep with them. He unwrapped the blanket bound to the top. “Guess it was just me being a hopeful idiot.”

Bones winced at his own words being thrown back at him. It had been just after his daddy died, Joce was out of the picture and it looked like Bones’ entire life was going down the drain. Jim had been trying to comfort him like had done so many times over the years and Bones had snapped at him for being a hopeful idiot. It wasn’t the only reason they had stopped talking, but Bones was pretty sure it was the catalyst for most of it.

Jim spread the blanket out on the ground and tucked the pack under head before turning his back towards Bones. Bones didn’t try to break the silence this time.

“You’re right, you know…” Jim didn’t turn around, Bones could barely hear him. “I’ve always been an idiot when it comes to you. I missed you as soon as you were gone and the idea of you being gone, really gone, I couldn’t just…”

Slowly Bones moved to lay next to Jim. He settled his head on the pack and carefully wrapped an arm around Jim’s waist. Jim turned to face him, eyes scanning Bones’ face with something that looked like pain. “You’re the only hope I have left, Bones.”

Carefully Bones closed the distance between them. Their lips were chapped from the dry winds and months of walking in blistering sun. Dirt gritted in their teeth and beards brushed rough against heat tender skin. Yet, they melted into each other as if they were kissing in summer rain. Jim’s hands came to the back of Bones’ neck and Bones pulled Jim closer.

It didn’t matter that the kisses were full of pain and grit and fear, it was more than they had had in a year and it was saving them.

Finally they pulled apart and Bones pressed his forehead to Jim’s, he could feel the tears slipping down over his cheeks but couldn’t bring himself to risk taking his arms from around Jim to wipe them away.

“When I heard someone at my door, the only thing in the world I wanted was for it to be you. It was all I wanted, Jim, and then there you were. So I decided that if this was going to happen, I wasn’t going to pass up the chance of running at the end of the world with you.”

Jim brushed calloused fingers across Bones’ cheek and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. “So you and me against the world, huh?”

“Nothing new there.”

“No, just...maybe better.” Jim’s hand rested against the side of Bones’ face. It should have been strange, holding his friend like this, but it just felt like it had been a long time coming. There was no question for him now. This would be the rest of their lives, for however long that might be.

“I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.” Bones tightened his hold on Jim a little. “I never meant for us to stop talking. You were just...always so there even when everyone else up and left and I was scared of letting you stay.”

“We’re together now, Bones. Maybe not be the best of times to finally come to our senses, but at least we did.” Jim moved to put his head against Bones’ chest. “Leave it to us to wait until the apocalypse to get our shit together.”

Bones nodded softly and sighed into Jim’s hair. “What do we do now?”

“We sleep, and then tomorrow we get up and keep looking for a community. There has to be one out there somewhere. We’ll find it.”

Slowly they drifted off to sleep, holding each other close and trying to stay hopeful that they would find a new home.

teacuphiddlesfics replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m waiting for the response to my job interview and even...”

Sending all the hugs your way

fourletterwordsstartingwithl replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m waiting for the response to my job interview and even...”

Waiting is the worst. *crosses fingers and toes for you* xx

aseuraii replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m waiting for the response to my job interview and even...”

crossing my fingers for you!

But it is real. Bones was there.

Initially, he didn't believe it. He couldn't. 

Jim was the one last person he couldn't lose. Bones didn't dare think about “what if”s. But it happened. And Bones was the one who ordered the redshirts to haul their captain out of the contaminated chamber. He was the one who lifted Jim's lifeless body onto the biobed with his own two hands. He was the one who stared at the tricorder for too long even though the screen reflects symbols that are all too familiar to him. He was the one who denied the flatline heart rates; who had sought for Jim's pulse with his own cold fingertips and had found none.

And he remembers exactly how his own heart felt. It is how he is feeling now. Like his heart has broken into asymmetrical halves – for when Jim left, he took all of the life in Bones too. And what is left in Bones is an empty shell that harbours their shared memories.

It's becoming hard to breathe. Bones feels like he is drowning.

“Bones.”

He can't see Jim clearly. It's too dark in their quarters. But he feels Jim pressed up warm against himself. Another sign that Jim is alive. 

Bones feels himself letting out a choked sob.

Jim places his palm above where Bones' heart is. Thump. Thump. 

Running his hand back and forth as if to soothe the harsh breath of his poor Bones, Jim presses a kiss into Bones’ hair. 

“Don’t cry.” Jim tries, if not a little helplessly.

Jim shuffles himself and Bones so they're facing each other. Even in the dark, Jim can see Bones' eyes. They're stained with tears. Jim puts his fingertips on Bones' sunken face and lets them tiptoe gently across his cheeks, softly tracing the lines where harsh tears have made its mark on his Bones.

No more tears. No more pain. No more sadness.

For a long time, they just lie side by side. None of them speaks, only gazing at each other in shared silence and heartache; Bones circling Jim's wrist to feel his steady pulse, and Jim praying to the stars for the pain to leave Bones, or at least to let Jim bear the pain so that Bones doesn't have to shoulder it all by himself.

After long-held silence, Bones says with a shivering heart, “Don't leave again.”

Jim doesn’t have the heart to say ‘no’. Both of them are too bitterly aware of the darkness and dangers of space – Jim had been through death and Bones had been right there to drag him back into life. All the pain and trauma doesn't remotely excuse what the future will hold for either of them. 

Human life is fleeting. It’s all too futile against the greater unknown.

But Jim promises anyways. He won't leave again. He promises that he will try his best to stay alive. And he kisses Bones to seal the promise. 

Jim kisses Bones until they're both a little dazed and breathless. 

Bones curses, mentally cataloguing the presence of the “groupie” currently sitting around in a loose circle so he can decide on who to slaughter after this ... thing is over.

Okay, so there's Uhura, Chapel, Chekov, Sulu. That makes four... where'd Spock go? Scotty is here. Five. Chekov. Six. Wait, did he count Chekov already? Argh, never mind.

When he is sober enough to count, Bones swears to sweet Virgin Mary he will literally stab the biggest vitamin hypo ever into someone's butt.

Tomorrow morning. Okay.

The world seems to buzzing and spinning a little slower. Or faster. It’s hard to tell. Maintaining their vertical position is proving to be quite a challenge, since Jim has had about three and three quarter pints of really good quality Romulan ale down his belly. Bones had four pints. Just because.

“Guysssss. Stop stalling.” Cupping his mouth, the too-far-gone Sulu yells loudly – unnecessarily so – at the two man standing amidst the evil circle of drunken friends.

“This is stupid.” Bones complaints as he lets himself be pulled towards Jim.

Jim is a little more drunk than he'd care to admit. But he pushes himself close to Bones so that they're standing toe-to-toe. Jim drapes his arm sloppily over Bones' shoulder and gazes at the frown present on his best friend's face. Reaching out, Jim draws the pad of his thumb over the middle of Bones' forehead, as if the soft heat of his thumb will smoothen the creases beneath his gentle touch. And in a way, it does.

“Kiss me.” Jim says.

The microscopic distance between their lips is almost too much, yet never enough; with the tip of their noses gently nudging against each other, Bones tips Jim's chin up with his index finger. Letting loose a shaky breath, Bones threads his fingers through the tufts of Jim's golden hair and surrenders himself into an endless pool of the warmest, bluest eyes.

The moment their lips aligns gently, softly, Jim feels a supernova exploding in his mind. Not once in Jim's life has he ever thought Bone's lips would taste so amazing, that a simple kiss would be so addictive.

Holy shiiii-

Before Jim could stop himself, a soft whimper escapes his throat as he presses their lips closer. Bones kisses Jim like his lips tastes of the sweetest drop of honey, coaxing strings of embarrassing mewls out of Jim (which Jim will later deny ever doing so). And when Jim kisses back, his tongue gliding across Bones' in tantalizing trails of fire, Bones feels like his entire being is burning with inexplicable desire; the last strands of his control almost slipping like it's been packed into a tin can and shot out through an airlock.

Bones kisses Jim open-mouthed with insistent tongue and gives a soft bite on Jim's lips. Jim lets out an instant, full body shiver as he pulls back with a choked-off moan, “Bones. Not here.”

Suddenly very aware of their situation, Bones pulls back and away from Jim with all of the remaining will he can summon. He lets go of Jim awkwardly, feeling an intense blush creeping up his neck and face.

The “groupie” stares at both of them in various state of shock and astonishment. As if the situation isn't awkward enough, Chekov chooses at this moment to drop his almost-empty glass of vodka-mix-something onto the carpet. (Bones is not entirely sure if it is accidental or deliberate, but he doesn't have enough cares to give right now.)

As Sulu reaches over and attempts to help Chekov clean up the mess on the carpet, the ladies have started gathering their stuff in a scramble, as if in great urgency to flee from the situation. 

In fact, within minutes, they're all muttering their goodbyes and salutes of the night; Scotty and Uhura, in particular, each gave Bones a pat on the shoulder and multiple drunken reassurances that “I won't tell anyone. I promise.” before swaggering through the door into the warm summer night back to their respective dorms.

Left to their own devices, Jim and Bones stares at each other and their now-vacant dorm room, both a little unsure of what to do.

“That was fun.” Jim supplies in vain, earning him a smack on the back of his head from Bones.

“OW! Is this how you treat the person you just smooched like, 10 seconds ago? Good kiss, by the way.”