#asecretvoice

I’d rather you be a stranger in my life, than have to live with the ghosts of what love did to me.

Are you happy now, knowing how much you broke me? Using me only when you wanted to, throwing me to the side when you found something new and shiny. How dare you ask me to be your friend, as if I would be okay watching you find your happiness in someone else from the sidelines. Was I nothing but a backup plan when she didn’t turn out like you hoped? Knowing I would always be there for you to use and use again, but never good enough to stay. Why treat me as something permanent when you only wanted me temporarily? Are you okay knowing how much you hurt me, does it leave you waking up gasping for breathe, a heavy dull emptiness in your heart knowing the person who you loved so much never loved you back? That it never existed in the first place.

My darling, please don’t mistake my softness as a weakness. For one would think that after many years, a person would be stronger. But who is to say that being soft and sensitive is not a strength? I should not be ashamed for being so close with my emotions, for everything that has brought me so much joy to all my tears of pain. I am soft in the way I trust people and believe they all have good intentions, I am soft in the ways I believe the lies of poisoned tongues, I am soft in the way tears come so easily to my eyes in the slightest of emotion. They say I should be stronger, with walls hardened around my heart. But my darling it takes true strength, to withstand all that pain and heartache and still be soft to world around you.

If you cannot love me at my worst, you my dear, do not love me at all.

I fell in love with the idea of you, what you could have been for me.

I’m so tired of crying over someone who couldn’t care about me the same way back.

You lost so much that day, you will never find a person who will give so much of themselves as much as I gave you.

“For a while, I thought you were my person. That person who would have my back, push me when I needed it, loved me through it all. I was wrong, terribly and hopelessly wrong. It took some time, but I finally realized that I have to be that person for myself.”