#arty shit

𖣘 Singapore GP

oi, want some cool arty shit for your walls? to make people think you’re some kind of chilled laidback surf dudeᵀᴹ?

I saw this film almost two weeks ago and it’s taken me this long to write a review because I felt I needed time. Synopsis: Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorises the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son, but this will soon be put to test when a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge. Sounds good doesn’t it? It’s not. You may have read ONE THOUSAND reviews saying it’s good but I’m afraid those reviews are wrong. Those reviewers are blinded by wanky bullshit. It’s a problem that comes along every now and then and the exact reason this blog is called ‘film reviews by an idiot’... because this film is for ‘film people’. I am not a film person, therefore I must be an idiot. It’s for arty film types who think it’s good when a film leaves loads of plot holes unanswered. “Yeah, we never knew exactly why that character did what he did but that’s what makes it so great”. IS IT? Does that really make it great? Or does it make it shit? I think it’s the latter actually because otherwise we’re left without a story. What is the point of a film without a story? There is no point. Spoilers are about to rear their ugly head because I can’t keep going on without letting you know things. So if you are foolish and want to devote an hour and a half of your life to watching this film then you should stop reading here. Goodbye, have a nice time. NOW, for the rest of you, here is what happens. There is a family living in the woods. It’s apparent that a disease has ravaged the world and everything has gone to shit. Lovely stuff indeed. I like the sound of that. This should be a good film... There is a red door that they keep very locked and is treated as the centerpiece of terror throughout the film (though terror is mostly lacking) and one night the door is being bashed in. They capture the man who was bashing it in and they question him. He tells them he’s had ever so much trouble and his brother has been killed and all sorts of other nonsense. The dad/protagonist of the film eventually agrees to help this man and his wife and child. So they’re all living together and during a chat, the man reveals he’s an only child. This is quite exciting as he’d previously spoken of the death of his brother. The dad questions him and he fobs him off with some nonsense about the deceased actually being his wife’s brother but it’s clear to all of us that this was a lie. BUT THIS POINT IS NEVER PICKED UP ON. IT IS NEVER MADE CLEAR WHY THE MAN WAS LYING. NEVER. MADE. CLEAR. WHY??? BECAUSE IT’S ARTY TO LEAVE PLOT HOLES, THAT’S FUCKING WHY. I actually cannot bear it. And yes, I’m sure many people could say “It’s open to interpretation, you can decide what the truth was” but NO, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT. Not in a film that is already completely devoid of a solid plot. Piss off. There is also a moment where they lose their dog. Everyone is very sad and during the night, the teenage boy discovers that the red door has been opened and the dog is in the porch area and is all very injured and infected. The dad kills the dog and gets rid and then everyone has a big meeting about this door being left open. Nobody is sure who opened the red door. THIS IS ALSO NEVER ANSWERED. I’d say it’s the most important part of the film... but no answer for the audience. We just have to guess. Then there’s the whole title of the film, It Comes At Night. What comes at night? WE DON’T KNOW because nobody ever tells us. There are also some dream sequences which seem to solely exist for us to watch something vaguely interesting but basically just make everything a bit more annoying.  Now listen. The film is very well acted and beautifully shot, there is no denying that. I see why reviewers like it but I also know why they like it and I hate why they like it. It’s just wanky shite.  It’s a film full of plot holes and unanswered questions which is always a bad thing but it’s even more of a bad thing when those things have been done on purpose to be arty. Fuck off mate. Just fuck off and take your silly arty film with you.