#arnon

Medium- Daily Motion, good quality but riddled with ads 

Entirety or episode?- Guys, I couldn’t even make it through the whole episode.

Overall verdict- I remember Charmed from when it aired (2002 apparently) and I remember it being shit. Now, I’m older and mellower and more tolerant, and bear in mind that I loved Middleman so I demonstrably have a sense of fun and silliness, Charmed remains one of the biggest drifts of turd I’ve ever grimaced through for the love of Mark Sheppard. This is coming from a guy with, trust me, a pathologically high tolerance for kitsch. I can’t quite tell exactly what it is that makes me hate this so much – whether it’s the self-conscious kookiness, the baby-obsessed plot, the insanely tedious subplot about Paige not being able to orgasm without ‘orbing out’ (seriously, even that phrase gives me rage, and as an SPN fan it probably shouldn’t) the flimsy excuse for including stupid latex superheroine costumes or the way Americans pronounce ‘equinox’, I just can’t tell. But I hated this, it was dumb, even the line ‘Who was that masked man?’ didn’t raise so much as a flicker of a smile, even Rose McGowan couldn’t make it palatable and literally the only good thing in it was Mark S.

Screen time- Brief but evenly dispersed

Accent- I’m… gonna go with… American..?

Mark’s character- Call me biased, but Mr S is effortlessly by far and away vastly the best thing in this post-Sabrina yawnfest. Arnon is the only character in this I didn’t want to punch, and I switched off the moment he got hoisted by his own petard… or, y’know, atomised into black goop by his own… petard… To be fair he didn’t have a great deal to work with, given the script, but he’s still good and charmingly menacing in a distinctly proto-Crowley way and he looks dishy AF so there’s that. I’d say only watch this if you’re either into Charmed or seriously committed to Mr S’s back catalogue, and if you just fast forward to his parts then you’re not missing much.

Highlight- Arnon’s actually reasonably cute ‘believe in yourself’ artist pep-talk. Mark S’s consistently delightful facial expressions. His weirdly moving death scene – he just looks so terrified, bless him.

Rewatch?- You’d have to pay me.

That expression though