old memories - oikawa tooru
â±â gender - she/her (not neutral)
â±â contains - angst?? reader is insecure about the whole âloveâ thing.Â
â±â ariaâs notes - idk what this is, i wrote this at 11 pm at night on a notepad app since i had some sudden inspiration uh this isnt really well written and just wrote it without really thinking but yeah c :Â
âoh c'mon y/n-chan let's go on a date, yeah?"
you twisted your head to take a glance at your childhood friend of 12 years, tooru oikawa. as you could tell, he was being stubborn and annoying as always. you could care less if oikawa wanted to take you on a date. there were plenty of other girls that he could pick and choose from.
 those girls who were prettier than you times 100.
 there were many girls who'd confess their feelings towards him but apparently, he wasn't satisfied with that. maybe, he was teasing you once again.Â
oikawa proposed to you when you were both kids and you went along with it. because at the time, your 6-year-old self didn't know better. the two of you were kids who didn't know a thing about love.Â
yet, you both would play pretend. the plastic ring that he slided on your 6-year-old finger was kept in your closet. the ring was now too big for your own finger and you would occasionally glance at the ring from time to time. it made you cringe just thinking back at old memories, the pictures, the videos that were saved on an old camera. everything. a small wedding ceremony was held and that's when oikawa kissed your hand.
oikawa was following you through the school hallways like a lost puppy that simply needed attention. the word 'rejection' wasn't in his vocabulary, he didn't know what that meant due to the girls who would typically surround him with love letters in their hands.
 then a sheepish smile would rise from his lips as he took all the love letters but would never read them.
 he couldn't care less for the letters, maybe if it was yours then he would care. but it wasn't. so he'd toss them away in the trash without any hesitation. he'd listen to countless girls talk about their hobbies and different places and had to refrain himself from saying "oh, i think y/n would like that too," or "maybe i'll take y/n there one day."
a groan of frustration escaped from your lips, "tooru there's no need for dates with me when you have those girls who want to spend time with you."
  you took a deep breath before continuing. "i don't know why you're doing this. stop pretending that you have feelings towards me because i know that it's all bullshit."
his eyes gradually softened as he stared into your eyes, he wasn't showing off his usual smile or smirk that'd he'd typically show.
 perhaps you didn't want to accept his 'so called' feelings for you since they could be fake, and he'd end up laughing at your face. or maybe you were scared to face rejection and enter a relationship. yeah, that was probably it.
 it hurt him hearing you say those words in the inside, it felt like he was getting ripped apart and he didn't know why. the person that stood in front of him wasn't giving him a chance. he didn't just want any girl, he wanted you. you and you only.
 iwaizumi even noticed that his friend was distracted and
had other things in his mind during volleyball practice.
tooru shook his head as his eyes darted towards the floor, "y/n-"
 both his hands and voice began to tremble as his throat began to feel sore. he was sure that something was wrong with him. he couldn't stop feeling this way, he was beginning to break and shatter in a million of pieces and he didn't know why. he missed the childhood memories that he wished could last forever.Â
 playing volleyball with you even though you completely sucked at being the setter, holding your hand so he wouldn't lose you at the mall, sobbing at cliche cheesy romance movies with you, the countless times you comforted you when your parents were arguing, and the wedding between you two.
 he missed it all too much.
if only he was able to hold you in his arms, he'd never let go even if he had the chance to eat milk bread. cause he loved you too much.
"what went wrong between us?" tooru's voice began to crack. "we used to be happily married and then-"
even though you both weren't technically married, he took those words seriously. his eyes promptly widened as he watched you walk away from him, his arm extending towards you. except, he was out of your reach. his feet wouldn't move no matter how much he wanted them to move. they were stick to the floor and all he could do was watch you walk away from him.Â
his mouth wouldn't open so he couldn't yell out your name. his entire body was frozen and he couldn't move. 'what did i do wrong?' the thought repeated over and over again. if only he could go back in time to being a kid, life was so much easier back then anyway. now, his life was shattering before his eyes.
iwaizumi glasped oikawa's shoulder, "oi shitty-kawa aren't you supposed to be in the gym?" he rose a brow while he titled his head.
 "i've been searching for you everywhere and now you owe me boba for wasting my time since you were in the school the whole entire time." Â
he noticed that his friend wasn't responding like he normally would, iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows before getting in front of oikawa. oikawa's eyes were still widened from the shock, his whole body was petrified. his knuckles turned white while he let out a shaky sigh.Â
iwaizumi was confused since oikawa never acted like this before.
 he'd always try to hide his emotions with a fake smile on his face, that way nobody would have to worry. except, that wasn't happening now. his emotions were very much visible and written on his face.
 this was something rare for oikawa to do and iwaizumi knew that very well due to him being friends with oikawa practically since birth. obviously something must have happened.
"oh, hey iwa-chan! i didn't see you there." tooru waved his hand with a fake smile on his face to cover up his emotions. usually, he was good at smiling all the time and covering up his emotions.
iwaizumi continued to have his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at his friend, squinting his eyes for a few seconds. iwaizumi quickly had an assumption onto what happened. it was actually pretty obvious to him. "y/n again?"
oikawa's eyes widened while the smile on his lips began to slowly fade. he turned quiet and didn't say anything for a moment.
