#areyfeels

After a year of hiatus, something brought me here on my sleeping blog. I guess it’s easier to write when you’re sad. There was a phase in my life when i have had too many extremes. Exteme highs and extreme lows. The past year was different, i think it’s safe to say that i am happier. That’s why maybe, i went MIA too, ‘cause when you’re happy you need not record it, you like to experience and enjoy it more than to write about it. When you’re happy, you just wanna share it. I guess the Universe has it’s own way of making you wake up one morning feeling indifferent and making you realize something else. I don’t know if this is already part of their so-called “Birthday Blues” (but hey! It is still a month to go!), part of my PMS, or whatever it is, i am not sure, but one thing is certain, I am extremely sad. I feel unwanted and unloved. I feel that in my 27 freaking years of existence, i still dont belong in this world. There is a fine line between expecting too much and not being served what you deserve. I’m starting to question my level of understanding on things again. I’m seeing the version of me i hated years ago, the version i buried a long time ago.:( It’s hard to be feeling like this again, i am somehow reminded of the girl who has big dreams, the girl who has a huge trust in humanity before she was burned and bruised by them. After putting so much effort into so many things and people, I am still not the favorite. Not the priority. Where there are choices to make, there comes the high and the least. And I always wonder i always get the latter. I guess it’s easier to write when you’re sad.